(no subject)
okay so grad was last night/this morning and yes i had an amazing time with everyone, but ever since then ive been really depressed. this morning when i woke up i just started to cry, and continued to do so basically all day. i just cant believe that its all over, no scratch that, i hate that its all over. just knowing that life will never be the same again, that this part of our lives is actually over, that we will never be the way we are now again. that ill never spend time with alot of my friends again. i know we all say that were going to keep in touch, but what makes us any different from everyone else who says that when they graduate and never does. the fact of the matter is that no matter how much we try to stay the same friends change, lives change, people change and just thinking about it breaks my heart. my worst fear about leaving is that ill come back and everything will be different, that ill come home and everyone will have new friends and new lives and that there will be no place for me in them. am i sacrificing my friends for a year away? it just kills me to know that it will never be like this again, i know what its like to lose a best friend to time, and inconvenience and it is the worst feeling in the world. i dont know that i could handle losing all of you at once.