Giving and Taking
My desire is to belong wholly to my Master. I keep thinking that I am entirely His, and then finding that I can go deeper. I have been considering the mechanics of ownership and possession. I want to know what your experience has been, as it seems ALL of you have more experience than little noob me. *smile*
So...
I can think to give something to Master, control over this, or obedience in that. It requires no effort on His part but to accept that which I've given. For example, He has the password to this journal. I gave it to Him when I set this up. My idea, my execution.
and
Master can take something from me. He can demand it, and I will obey. For example, He has recently decided that I need to follow the protocol of capitalizing all references to Him, including "You" when we are having an IM conversation. This bugs me on several different levels. it is a grammatical abomination, and I think it makes me look ignorant. It also makes my writing stilted, as I have to stop in the flow of thoughts and correct myself. It also makes my writing more time consuming as I edit every damned thing I write before I post it or hit send. BUT... I do it willingly, even as it rankles.
Somehow, that which I give freely and out of love and devotion seems to signify less obedience to me. And this is annoying, as I think it should signify more, since I am freely giving him control. But it doesn't work that way.
My question for you is... am I nuts to think that way? Should I stop volunteering things, as it doesn't seem to be as deeply submissive as giving them to Him when He asks? What has your experience been with similar situations? How do you feel most submissive? Or most obeyed, if you're on the other end of the equation?