Who needs the zoloft now, Dan?
Session Start (Lutra746:snowitch58): Mon Sep 12 19:48:27 2005
[19:48] snowitch58: LISTEN PETER, LEAVE MY DAUGHTER ALONE, OR i WILL HAVE A DAMN GOOD TALK WITH YOUR MOTHER!!! YOU ARE UPSETTING HER AND SPREADING YOUR WHINNING TO EVERYONE ELSE AND THEY ARE ASKING HER QUESTIONS ABOUT WHY. YOU HAVE CALLED HER A BITCH TWICE!! TIME TO TALK TO YOUR MOTHER ABOUT YOUR BABISH BEHAVIOR. DO NOT THREATEN HER WITH CONSEQUENCES, NOTHING. SHE IS THERE TO LEARN NOT TO PAMPER TO YOU ACTING LIKE A BABY. YOU ARE IN COLLEGE. GROW UP
[19:48] Lutra746: i'm not saying anything
[19:49] snowitch58: YEAH RIGHT, SO THEN WHY ARE APRIL CAT AND LAURA ASKING HER ABOUT YOU THEN. [19:49] Lutra746: i just wish she would say that she was mad at me then give me the silent treatment
[19:50] Lutra746: but, if that's how it is, i won't say anything else to her [19:50] Lutra746: i'm aware of my actions, and i've tried to apologize for them
[19:50] snowitch58: SHE' S TIRED OF YOU CALLING HER A BITCH, AND THE NEXT TIME I RUN INTO YOUR MOTHER I'LL BE INFORMING HER OF THIS
[19:50] Lutra746: and i'll leave it at that
[19:50] snowitch58: TWICE PETER, NOT ONCE TWICE
[19:51] Lutra746: she shouldn't have scared me like that! i don't understand why she did that
[19:51] snowitch58: YOU HAVE UPSET AND DEPRESSED HER
[19:51] Lutra746: why would she pretend to be you?
[19:51] snowitch58: SHE ISN'T BABY. SHE IS RESPONSIBLE
[19:51] snowitch58: YOU DON'T
[19:51] snowitch58: LISTEN WELL DO YOU
[19:51] snowitch58: YOU HAVE HER SO UPSET AND DEPRESSED.
[19:51] Lutra746: fine, i won't say anything to her
[19:51] snowitch58: I AM ABSOLUTELY LIVID WITH YOU
[19:52] Lutra746: ok [19:52] snowitch58: OH NO..,. IT ISNT
[19:52] Lutra746: i understand
[19:52] snowitch58: GOING TO END HERE
[19:52] snowitch58: YOU HAVE WHINED TO OTHER PEOPLE
[19:52] Lutra746: if i am the cause of her suffering, then i'll begone
[19:52] snowitch58: NO SUCH LUCK
[19:52] Lutra746: i don't want to lose a friendship over this
[19:53] Lutra746: i know i have told others about it
[19:53] Lutra746: i shouldn't have
[19:53] Lutra746: if you don't want me to go, then fine
[19:53] Lutra746: if you do, fine
[19:53] snowitch58: YEAH, YEAH, AND YOU HAVE HER SO DEPRESSED OVER THIS
[19:53] Lutra746: do you think i'm any better?
[19:53] snowitch58: DID SHE CALL YOU A BITCH?
[19:54] Lutra746: she pretended to be you, and toyed with my feelings
[19:54] snowitch58: I SHOULD KNOW BETTER, RAISED IN SUCKFIELD AND HAVE A VERY LIMITED VIEW OF THE WORLD
[19:54] Lutra746: it isn't as strong, but it gets to the point [19:54] snowitch58: TOYED WITH YOUR FEELINGS? YOU AREN'T DATING
[19:54] Lutra746: emotions exist in all people, whether in a relationship or not
[19:54] snowitch58: YOU BETTER MAKE SURE THAT YOU TELL OTHERS THAT YOU CALLED HER A BITCH [19:54] Lutra746: i was worried about her, and she was acting funny
[19:54] Lutra746: i did
[19:55] Lutra746: they know, and i know it was wrong
[19:55] Lutra746: i can't just change that
[19:55] snowitch58: I HAVE MORE OF A HANDLE ON THINGS THAN YOU COULD POSSIBLY KNOW
[19:55] snowitch58: YES YOU CAN
[19:55] Lutra746: i see that
[19:55] Lutra746: i've already said it and i can't take it back
[19:55] snowitch58: YOU HAVE BEEN TELLING THEM ELABORATE STORIES AND THEY BELIEVE YOU
[19:56] Lutra746: i told them what happened
[19:56] snowitch58: YEAH, FROM PETERS PERSPECTIVE
[19:56] snowitch58: YOUR MOT
[19:56] Lutra746: then say something to them
[19:56] Lutra746: like 'that's not true' or 'he left this out'
[19:56] snowitch58: MOTHER EVEN SAYS THAT YOU NEED TO LEARN THAT YOUR RIGHT AND WRONG ISN'T THE WAY THE WORLD IS
[19:57] Lutra746: then what is right, and what is wrong?
[19:57] snowitch58: YOU HAVE A VERY LIMITED PERSPECTIVE OF THE WORLD
[19:57] Lutra746: if it's wrong to call someone a 'bitch', then isn't it just as wrong to pretend to be something that you are not? [19:57] Lutra746: i know i do
[19:57] Lutra746: living with a small, enclosed barrier makes me very limited
[19:57] Lutra746: i know that i don't know much
[19:58] snowitch58: GET A SENSE OF HUMOR. IT SEEMS YOUR SISTER HAS IT ALL
[19:58] Lutra746: thank you, i know that too
[19:58] snowitch58: WELL U KNOW WHAT? UNLESS YOU OPEN UP YOU WILL ALWAYS BE SMALL MINDED [19:58] snowitch58: WELL YOU CAN THE POWER TO CHANGE THAT
[19:58] Lutra746: and when i do, then trouble like this occurs
[19:58] Lutra746: so why bother?
[19:58] Lutra746: but this isn't about me
[19:59] Lutra746: it's about this situation
[19:59] snowitch58: yes, and you caused the situation
[19:59] Lutra746: but i'm not fully the antagonist
[19:59] snowitch58: you need to suck it up and grow up
[19:59] snowitch58: oh stop whining and grow up.
[19:59] Lutra746: i admitted that i was wrong to her
[20:00] Lutra746: i'm not saying i'm not at fault
[20:00] Lutra746: I'm the majority to blame for this mess
[20:00] snowitch58: well your sister keeps asking jill over and over again what happened. she doesn't want to discuss it. if you cause any rift between then. so help me god
[20:01] Lutra746: i don't mean to cause rifts with anyone else but mine
[20:01] snowitch58: get a sense of humor, life will get better and you'll have an easier time making friends
[20:01] Lutra746: like i said, this isn't about me
[20:01] Lutra746: it's bigger than that
[20:01] snowitch58: bull crrap
[20:01] snowitch58: who is it about then? hmmm?
[20:01] Lutra746: it isn't about anyone
[20:02] Lutra746: it's about the situation
[20:02] Lutra746: it's about what happened, in all its entirety
[20:02] snowitch58: and you are the catalyst
[20:02] Lutra746: pretty much
[20:03] Lutra746: though, i still wonder, what would make her pretend to be you?
[20:03] snowitch58: then you whining and crying to others that jill won't talk to you. ohhh... maybe she just doesn't want to be called a bitch or accused of drinking..hmmm you know you want to see the worst in people because it makes you feel that you are more that you are... which isn't much
[20:03] snowitch58: BECAUSE I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH HER AND TOLD HER TO SINCE YOU HAD BEEN ACCUSING HER OF DRINKING.
[20:04] Lutra746: why would you make her do that?
[20:04] Lutra746: i wasn't making a serious account
[20:04] snowitch58: AND SHE WOULD NOW THAT... HOW?
[20:04] snowitch58: OH, WO
[20:04] snowitch58: WOULDN'T IT
[20:04] snowitch58: B
[20:05] snowitch58: BE FUNNY IF WE ALL WENT TO THE LIBRARY AND JOKED ABOUT WHAT GOES ON AT YOUR COLLEGE?? LOL... BUT IT WOULD JUST BE A JOKE...RIGHT?
[20:05] Lutra746: i know that she would never do that. she's pointed it out several times. if i did say that, wouldn't she know that i wasn't being serious?
[20:06] snowitch58: well you don't have a sense of humor, now do you
[20:06] Lutra746: she could have nothing to say about what happens here
[20:06] Lutra746: no, i don't have one anymore
[20:07] snowitch58: need to have one first to lose it
[20:07] Lutra746: so is there some sort of resolution to this problem that we're striving for...or will this be going on all night
[20:07] Lutra746: i did have a sense of humor at one time, though it slowly faded as of 1999
[20:08] Lutra746: i'd like to come to a truce or something
[20:08] snowitch58: what when your parents were divorced? get over it, you can't change it. and since only you understanding what you have done will end it...
[20:08] Lutra746: though i was never good at that
[20:08] Lutra746: no, my parents were divorced before then
[20:09] snowitch58: you get it fixed with cat, april and laura. you admit that you called her a bitch and that is why she isn't talking to you. once everything is good,. then there is a truce.
[20:09] snowitch58: so.. what happened in 1999
[20:10] Lutra746: i've realized what I've done, and what you've told me as to the result of my actions, I think I've understood what my own doings
[20:10] snowitch58: life isn't just about ourselves.
[20:11] snowitch58: but when I see the state that your actions have put her into....
[20:11] Lutra746: even if I told everyone that I did call her one (and that's not saying that I didn't), will that change anything? she'll still be in the place where she is now
[20:11] Lutra746: i'm aware of my selfishness
[20:11] snowitch58: peter, we are able make changes within ourselves
[20:12] snowitch58: you have to look inside yourself and be honest about who you are, change the things that you don't like
[20:12] Lutra746: gods above, i know. have I tried to change? yes. has it worked? no.
[20:12] snowitch58: what have you tried to change?
[20:15] Lutra746: well, back in the beginning of high school, i was exactly what i am now: the true meaning of antisocialism. I was depressed, and almost suicidal, though I wouldn't dared done anything. I got involved in 'the Hobbit' Things went uphill after that, where I met friends and then led me to join clubs. I was happy. Then last year was a rollercoaster of ups and downs until it hit rock bottom, where I've found myself again.
[20:15] Lutra746: i tried to give my pessimism for an exchange of optimism. that's what jill, and all the friends that I've found helped me believe
[20:16] Lutra746: but despair never fully gave way in my heart
[20:16] snowitch58: well then you have to hold it dear, be more tolerant, take the lead from friends to broaden your horizons. [20:17] snowitch58: part of you embraces the despair
[20:18] Lutra746: changing is a gradual process
[20:18] snowitch58: do you have a therapist?
[20:18] Lutra746: nope
[20:18] snowitch58: it would help you to have someone
[20:18] Lutra746: i was seeing a psychologist, but that was for another reason
[20:18] Lutra746: they deemed me 'normal'
[20:18] snowitch58: there is an excellent doctor in enfield
[20:19] snowitch58: his name is Dr Vincent
[20:19] Lutra746: I'm here, though
[20:19] snowitch58: he is very good, he listens, helps you see things from another perspective. he is the dr that therapists send their kids too
[20:19] Lutra746: and I can't go home anytime soon
[20:20] snowitch58: there is also councilling on campus
[20:20] Lutra746: i guess I'm going to look into that
[20:20] snowitch58: you are dealing with the depression of being away from all you know
[20:20] snowitch58: Jill goes th
[20:21] snowitch58: through it too
[20:21] snowitch58: except she has me to talk to.
[20:21] Lutra746: i see
[20:21] snowitch58: she feels depressed sometimes, being away from home
[20:22] snowitch58: dealing with a roommate that tries to take control of things, makes nasty little comments
[20:22] Lutra746: or for me, dealing with a roomate who's never around
[20:22] Lutra746: neither really helps
[20:22] snowitch58: what about clubs?
[20:23] Lutra746: they don't start until the 21st at the earliest
[20:23] Lutra746: that's been my plan since I got here
[20:23] snowitch58: ok, what about getting a little job on campus?
[20:23] Lutra746: until then? well, I'll wait it out
[20:24] Lutra746: and as for that, i'm trying to get a work study job
[20:24] Lutra746: their application process is strange, though
[20:24] snowitch58: how about the library?
[20:24] snowitch58: yeah they all do that
[20:24] Lutra746: that's where I'm trying to get a job
[20:24] snowitch58: you have experience, lol
[20:25] Lutra746: i don't think there'll be many others with 2+ years of library service
[20:25] Lutra746: yes
[20:25] snowitch58: listen peter, if you need someone to talk to , and if you want, you can talk to me
[20:25] Lutra746: ok
[20:25] Lutra746: thank you
[20:25] Lutra746: i'm sorry for this whole issue
[20:25] snowitch58: see you have one up on them
[20:25] Lutra746: it escalated into disaster
[20:25] snowitch58: I think you need someone to talk to
[20:25] Lutra746: so i'm going to set things straight
[20:26] snowitch58: jill and i are very tight, she is having her adjustment issues too
[20:26] Lutra746: i know I need someone to talk to, and hopefully I can find someone
[20:27] snowitch58: you want to find someone that helps you see things from another perspective. to see how other people see things, their viewpoints
So it's proven now. I need a therapist. Great.