Luigi is the most confusing and perplexing of all the video game characters. He is often very silent, very courageous, extremely scared, extremely feminine, or extremely gay. This has puzzled me, so I'm going to do a sort of analysis on Luigi, the Mario Brother forever in his brother's shadow.
The Gay Luigi
Here we have the Luigi who almost got a role on Queer Eye, but he was too much of a pussy. Just look at his expression. I mean, I may have been scared in a haunted mansion, but honestly. The ghosts were just trying to sit down and crack a Bud with him. Apparently, Luigi cannot grasp that, so he goes about screaming his lungs out to save Mario, who would be perfectly capable of escaping sooner or later. Is this a cry for attention? I think so. THIS particular Luigi is my least favorite. He does, however, seem to have more roles than the other Luigis:
1. Super Smash Bros. Series
Here, Luigi's overly high voice and odd moveset define his gayness. Here, however, he seems to be the least gay.
2.Luigi's Mansion
Oh. Luigi. Your game was okay, really. But fucking send Wario in next time. Not only will Wario leave Mario behind, but he'll kick some Boo ass.
3. Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga
What a pussy Luigi is. He pretty much cries when he is taken on the quest. He also seems to be attracted to Prince Peasley. Here, this is gay Luigi at his finest.
4. Super Mario Bros. 2
Look at his jump. Enough said.
A little speculation here. I do believe Mario and Luigi could've made at least a SMALL deal so that Luigi didn't have to totally look like a female with a 'stache. I happen to own the book that's in, and I love it. But take note! Another gay Luigi. Why? Mario is still wearing his slacks. Auuurgh.
Gay Luigi has also been frequently known to dress as Princess Peach and enjoy it.
The Hermit/Pedophile Luigi
Who the hell is this Luigi trying to please? This is the least common of the Luigis. Not only is he the tallest, but he is also the skinniest, and has the weirdest face. Pedophile material right there. You can also tell by some of the stuff he wears on Mario party that he enjoys being in touch with the kiddies. (Colorful tights? Please.)
1. Mario Party 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5
First off.. when they release a Mario Party Anniversary Collection, I don't want to know what they'll be planning. Anyway, notice how this Luigi (with his terrible, annoying voice) is only in the MP series? I suppose I pity him. He's middle-aged, lonely, and only gets paid for being in these games. They call him out to make MP after MP, and when he goes home, he's very sad. He has no role in life, and will probably die before any Mario character. And no one will care.
2. Mario is Missing (?)
This is a big "IF." But if he is in this, it would be no surprise. You play through the crappy game as an inept Luigi, searching for your brother, who was dragged away by a 500 pound beast, who was only four feet away at the time. "Oh, Mario? I seem to have lost my primary senses. Where are you? I cannot hear you kicking and screaming behind me, and I cannot also hear the huge, mutated snapping turtle dragging you off. Whatever will I do? Perhaps enter the coporeal world? Oh, what fun! No one likes me."
I'm still not completely sure which Luigi is in that game.
The Badass Luigi
This Luigi is so badass that a toy was made after him. He's fucking awesome. Not only does his voice have a hint of manliness in it, but he's just..awesome. You can tell he doesn't give a fuck what you think, and he'll kick your ass. With his hand. Yes, you heard me. This is the Luigi who is never jealous of Mario; the Luigi who we will probably never see again. Alas. He is also the Luigi who saved the Princess one time in the past. (I forgot when.)
1. Mario Kart 64
It's a shame he is in very few games, but this is one of them. There isn't much to say besides the fact he'll kill you. He's the most Italian of the Luigis.
2. Paper Mario (?)
I'm not sure, but this is probably him. He WANTS to go on your quest. He is depressed because he can't. And when you come home, somehow, he is happy enough to whistle. He's so strong. Badass Luigi, you live on in our hearts.
The 'Lou Albano' Luigi
The sole fact that this Luigi got to hang out with Captain Lou Albano makes him cool. However, he only appears in the TV series, and he has no other roles.
How does he make money? Lou Albano is fucking awesome. That's how this Luigi makes money.
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Okay, I really don't like this Luigi at all. Even Lou Albano doesn't help. Fuck you, 'Lou Albano' Luigi.
"Hey, pizzanos! It's the Super Mario Bros. Super Show!"
Thus concludes my Luigi speculation.. an ever changing theory.