The tide is high
Working on my writing today. Simon has so many issues dealing with his sexuality. This would be so much easier to write if I had actually gone through the coming out process. But half of writing is research, and they tell you to write what you know. I think I know the subject pretty damn well. Two things I research in depth: Twins and homosexuality. Sometimes I research the two subjects together, mostly its individually. So why am I having so much trouble with Simon's coming out. He's gay, he wants to get into bed with Gary Goss (knowing he's straight) it should be easier, but it isn't.
Although, the decision to make him gay was the best one I ever made. He wasn't gay originally when I first created Simon back in 2004 (wow, that was six years ago). No, actually, he's come a long way. Originally, he was eigtheen, a smoker, a bad boy, and seriously fucked up. The plot line has changed only a little from the general base. The antagonist remains the same, but his reason for wanting Simon and Sam dead has changed dramatically. Sam and Simon weren't twins originally either. No, Sam was twenty-one in the beginning, but they were best friends.
Anyhow, Simon wasn't gay. No, he had a girlfriend who played a major role. After some brainstorming and writing up the rest of the characters (some are still being modified) I lowered Sam and Simon's ages and put Simon in a relationship with a thirty something woman with red hair and long legs. It was kind of sexy. Needless to say, I changed my mind. I wasn't happy and neither was Simon. Gradually, I'm not entertirely sure, but I put Simon in a secret relationship with his sister-in-law's brother Michael (now named Ryan) which resulted in the two being shipped off to different military schools.
From there, I hooked Simon up with a drill instructor. Again, I wanted to go in a different direction. Simon's brother Mark wouldn't be prejudice and send Simon away. No, it wasn't in his character to discriminate. Mark would accept and love Simon no matter if he's gay or straight. For those wondering, Mark is Simon's eldest brother. He's raising all of his younger siblings. I can't explain why right now (you'll have to read it). So then I wrote in a character named Zack for Simon to be in a relationship with. But it was too much. There was no struggle or coming out process it was just boom, surprise buttsecks! That's when I tweaked Gary's character to make him a little bi-curious and wrote some unbelievably steamy boy love smut between the two characters that I will never get back. In some ways, it's heartbreaking; I had mapped out exactly what I wanted in all four of the planned stories (there is definitely going to be more than just two if I ever get that far), but then my harddrive crashed. I lost it all. I was so close to being finished with the planning ready to edit and work on put it into manuscript form. It was a collaboration of stuff I had done over the years that I was finally happy with. Then I replaced the harddrive and started over. That's when I decided to make Gary full on gay, no curiosity about it. then a few months later, the motherboard crashed on the computer and I can no longer charge my HP so it became unusable. I bought my gateway last November. It hasn't had too many problems that I know of. I should probably still get it checked though just in case. I now have five jump drives one of which holds up to 8 gigs of information. I am backing up all my word files now.
Now, here in 2010, I'm still working on Simon's story. We've come a long way. He means a lot to me. He really does. I feel like he's part of me (my inner fag *squee*). I want other people to meet him too. That's why it's so important that I get his story finished. I want it to be a coming-out story like no other. Simon's a complex young man. I may not fully understand boys, but Simon's not the typical boy, though my not getting boys does hinder my writing on the other male characters (Sam, Gary, Nick, all of Simon's brothers), but because i'm observant, I have gotten boy patterns down a little. I'm not JK Rowling, I don't understand teenage boys backwards, I just manage. I try to understand them anyway I can. The problem is I'm not around them often enough. Though, books, and movies do help a lot. Wow, I got off topic quickly.
I fear I will never get Simon out of the closet completely.
Although, the decision to make him gay was the best one I ever made. He wasn't gay originally when I first created Simon back in 2004 (wow, that was six years ago). No, actually, he's come a long way. Originally, he was eigtheen, a smoker, a bad boy, and seriously fucked up. The plot line has changed only a little from the general base. The antagonist remains the same, but his reason for wanting Simon and Sam dead has changed dramatically. Sam and Simon weren't twins originally either. No, Sam was twenty-one in the beginning, but they were best friends.
Anyhow, Simon wasn't gay. No, he had a girlfriend who played a major role. After some brainstorming and writing up the rest of the characters (some are still being modified) I lowered Sam and Simon's ages and put Simon in a relationship with a thirty something woman with red hair and long legs. It was kind of sexy. Needless to say, I changed my mind. I wasn't happy and neither was Simon. Gradually, I'm not entertirely sure, but I put Simon in a secret relationship with his sister-in-law's brother Michael (now named Ryan) which resulted in the two being shipped off to different military schools.
From there, I hooked Simon up with a drill instructor. Again, I wanted to go in a different direction. Simon's brother Mark wouldn't be prejudice and send Simon away. No, it wasn't in his character to discriminate. Mark would accept and love Simon no matter if he's gay or straight. For those wondering, Mark is Simon's eldest brother. He's raising all of his younger siblings. I can't explain why right now (you'll have to read it). So then I wrote in a character named Zack for Simon to be in a relationship with. But it was too much. There was no struggle or coming out process it was just boom, surprise buttsecks! That's when I tweaked Gary's character to make him a little bi-curious and wrote some unbelievably steamy boy love smut between the two characters that I will never get back. In some ways, it's heartbreaking; I had mapped out exactly what I wanted in all four of the planned stories (there is definitely going to be more than just two if I ever get that far), but then my harddrive crashed. I lost it all. I was so close to being finished with the planning ready to edit and work on put it into manuscript form. It was a collaboration of stuff I had done over the years that I was finally happy with. Then I replaced the harddrive and started over. That's when I decided to make Gary full on gay, no curiosity about it. then a few months later, the motherboard crashed on the computer and I can no longer charge my HP so it became unusable. I bought my gateway last November. It hasn't had too many problems that I know of. I should probably still get it checked though just in case. I now have five jump drives one of which holds up to 8 gigs of information. I am backing up all my word files now.
Now, here in 2010, I'm still working on Simon's story. We've come a long way. He means a lot to me. He really does. I feel like he's part of me (my inner fag *squee*). I want other people to meet him too. That's why it's so important that I get his story finished. I want it to be a coming-out story like no other. Simon's a complex young man. I may not fully understand boys, but Simon's not the typical boy, though my not getting boys does hinder my writing on the other male characters (Sam, Gary, Nick, all of Simon's brothers), but because i'm observant, I have gotten boy patterns down a little. I'm not JK Rowling, I don't understand teenage boys backwards, I just manage. I try to understand them anyway I can. The problem is I'm not around them often enough. Though, books, and movies do help a lot. Wow, I got off topic quickly.
I fear I will never get Simon out of the closet completely.