(no subject)
It's been a bloody stupid day...
I don't even want to go into detail about work, I feel as if I am being treated so badly. Apparently they've been getting complaints about the house keeping. Unfortunately, I haven't really had a good opporunity to work by myself yet, so they can see that I scrub the shit out of the toilets (literally) and bathtubs. I'm starting to take things personally. And little miss "I was just hired and am taking authority over you" doesn't realize that I am 20, not 17 and have 1/4 a college education. I don't think any of them even realize that I'm not some stupid teenager.
Anyways, there have been irrational threats left and right, about 'letting us go'...what? is that supposidly PC term for "fired" supposed to be more consoling or something?
and it gets me thinking about my miserable gpa last semester, and then I think "wow, I'm a failure" and then I wallow in self pity, which is easy to come by because I'm too hard on myself.
Then when I returned from home, my mom and brother were fighting, which just exacerbated my anger further. I went for a four mile run, came back and did some pilates.
Talked to Rob on the phone, talked to hannah on the phone. I may be seeing both of them tonight, which pleases me. However, then I talked to zach. He has acted different both times I've talked to him when he's been able to call me. Oh no, it must be that classic "I went to summer camp and I've found God" sort of thing...not 'God' in this case...whatever. I'm just paranoid. But I was in a terrible mood to begin with. It's only here, only here in good ol' Kalispell that I seem to experience the worst depression.
Today is one of those days where it feels like everything is going to hell. The only positive thing so far has been an excellent run.
I don't even want to go into detail about work, I feel as if I am being treated so badly. Apparently they've been getting complaints about the house keeping. Unfortunately, I haven't really had a good opporunity to work by myself yet, so they can see that I scrub the shit out of the toilets (literally) and bathtubs. I'm starting to take things personally. And little miss "I was just hired and am taking authority over you" doesn't realize that I am 20, not 17 and have 1/4 a college education. I don't think any of them even realize that I'm not some stupid teenager.
Anyways, there have been irrational threats left and right, about 'letting us go'...what? is that supposidly PC term for "fired" supposed to be more consoling or something?
and it gets me thinking about my miserable gpa last semester, and then I think "wow, I'm a failure" and then I wallow in self pity, which is easy to come by because I'm too hard on myself.
Then when I returned from home, my mom and brother were fighting, which just exacerbated my anger further. I went for a four mile run, came back and did some pilates.
Talked to Rob on the phone, talked to hannah on the phone. I may be seeing both of them tonight, which pleases me. However, then I talked to zach. He has acted different both times I've talked to him when he's been able to call me. Oh no, it must be that classic "I went to summer camp and I've found God" sort of thing...not 'God' in this case...whatever. I'm just paranoid. But I was in a terrible mood to begin with. It's only here, only here in good ol' Kalispell that I seem to experience the worst depression.
Today is one of those days where it feels like everything is going to hell. The only positive thing so far has been an excellent run.