and with the good comes the bad
Ok, so today sucked. Alot.
Not only did I not get to have lunch, so it was... 15 hours of not eating, feeling light headed, dizzy... and stressed...
People at work have been sick, and somehow they decided that I could ignore all of my work to fill in on a department that I haven't worked in for over 2 years. Meaning, I had largely forgotten how to even do it... and the chemicals that process the film.. mysteriously dipped to reallllllly low levels.... no idea.
Of course they said "everyone is feeling sick, and we are all being slammed with work..."
But... there were three people up at the front of the lab, working together. I was by myself in the back of the lab having to try to do the work of two departments....
....................
it was only irritating hearing them laughing up front, when I had reached a level of breaking down crying in the back... I can't honestly say that they weren't having to deal with their own things, but yeah...
so... after being overwhelmed and breaking down, frantic and upset... I hit the "I can't do my job well enough, because I bet someone else would be able to handle it all and still keep up." Meanwhile because of having to spend so much time talking to customers, phone, in person, etc... the work is piling up again. I'm on my 4th day of my work week and have hardly touched the computer they've set up for me to do real computer video editing. And an order was due today... it would have been done too if my manager hadn't called them and said "do you want music?????? we can add that!!!" When we've never done that before and really I have periods of thinking we don't know what the hell we're doing... of course, having been "trained" by reading one tutorial in one book hardly qualifies. *STRESS*
I think I might have misled a customer when they wanted to know what file size his images need to be... I tried to find out, but then again, noone knows what we're doing because we've never done it before, and they're too cheap to pay for any real training.
*sigh* Soooo... I kind of lost it. I think it's over this computer video editing. My being frustrated that I don't have time to experiment on real orders because of all the other work piling up, and if I spend all my time on the other work piling up, then I don't have time to figure out the new stuff. And anything I do reflects badly (irrational or not) on my being able to 'handle' doing all the work. Catch-22.
So... after my break down, and hysterics... which no doubt make me look great... then slipping into my hopelessness and depression (at least I was calm. All within the span of a half hour... am I making progress?) I realized that the problem was that I was getting so worked up, I was paralyzing myself from doing anything at all. What I need to do... is to not care. And just sit and do it. Besides not having time to go eat, or take a break... all illegal I'm sure... the rest of the day shaped up kind of... well... at least not as traumatizing. Thankfully... tomorrow is my short day. (Hours cut for alot of us because of the slow season at work. Sucks for the paycheck, but damn... it's great for getting the hell out of there. And I soooo need a break.
I think my weekend will be spent with me at home trying to figure it out on my own time. :(
Not only did I not get to have lunch, so it was... 15 hours of not eating, feeling light headed, dizzy... and stressed...
People at work have been sick, and somehow they decided that I could ignore all of my work to fill in on a department that I haven't worked in for over 2 years. Meaning, I had largely forgotten how to even do it... and the chemicals that process the film.. mysteriously dipped to reallllllly low levels.... no idea.
Of course they said "everyone is feeling sick, and we are all being slammed with work..."
But... there were three people up at the front of the lab, working together. I was by myself in the back of the lab having to try to do the work of two departments....
....................
it was only irritating hearing them laughing up front, when I had reached a level of breaking down crying in the back... I can't honestly say that they weren't having to deal with their own things, but yeah...
so... after being overwhelmed and breaking down, frantic and upset... I hit the "I can't do my job well enough, because I bet someone else would be able to handle it all and still keep up." Meanwhile because of having to spend so much time talking to customers, phone, in person, etc... the work is piling up again. I'm on my 4th day of my work week and have hardly touched the computer they've set up for me to do real computer video editing. And an order was due today... it would have been done too if my manager hadn't called them and said "do you want music?????? we can add that!!!" When we've never done that before and really I have periods of thinking we don't know what the hell we're doing... of course, having been "trained" by reading one tutorial in one book hardly qualifies. *STRESS*
I think I might have misled a customer when they wanted to know what file size his images need to be... I tried to find out, but then again, noone knows what we're doing because we've never done it before, and they're too cheap to pay for any real training.
*sigh* Soooo... I kind of lost it. I think it's over this computer video editing. My being frustrated that I don't have time to experiment on real orders because of all the other work piling up, and if I spend all my time on the other work piling up, then I don't have time to figure out the new stuff. And anything I do reflects badly (irrational or not) on my being able to 'handle' doing all the work. Catch-22.
So... after my break down, and hysterics... which no doubt make me look great... then slipping into my hopelessness and depression (at least I was calm. All within the span of a half hour... am I making progress?) I realized that the problem was that I was getting so worked up, I was paralyzing myself from doing anything at all. What I need to do... is to not care. And just sit and do it. Besides not having time to go eat, or take a break... all illegal I'm sure... the rest of the day shaped up kind of... well... at least not as traumatizing. Thankfully... tomorrow is my short day. (Hours cut for alot of us because of the slow season at work. Sucks for the paycheck, but damn... it's great for getting the hell out of there. And I soooo need a break.
I think my weekend will be spent with me at home trying to figure it out on my own time. :(