the day i clean my room=a day that will live in infamy
some people prefer busy social lives, and some people are happy either way. since i started dancing, i've given up my life of partying with friends and dating. most of the reason is that i'm gone in canada half of the week and nobody ever sees me. i also think that a lot of my friends can't relate to me anymore... i dance for a living which is not "normal" and a lot of people think i'm too hardcore into pot, or lost respect for me because i did "drugs" which is totally true depending on what you consider "drugs". i don't consider anything a drug that grows naturally on this earth. i've done my research and i know what substances are addictive and can permanently harm or kill you, none of which i've tried. consider me a druggie or not - i don't care. consider me a hippie and i'll take it as a compliment.
so i had a best friend... but she backstabbed me by stealing money and now i pass her car on the freeway while she's coming home from a night at a different club. whatever. it seems like the only genuine friend i have left is jeff, who is growing increasingly fed up with the fact that our relationship "won't go anywhere" and causing me so much guilt. he says he is in love with me... but i push him away because i can't handle having a boyfriend. i haven't wanted a boyfriend since dan broke up with me. he fucked me up. working in an environment with men has also made me realize that there are so many other "dans" out there, men who are fucking psycho and cannot respect a woman. i am not eager to date, let alone commit. i have no idea when this will change. i also hate the fact that most men my age are poor and still live with their parents, which makes it feel like a lame high school relationship. not cool.
so i guess i'm sorta becomming a hermit and i don't mind it. call me self-involved. i always manage to make myself happy. today i went to meijer's and bought a little fishtank and two fish. their names are zig and zag. :)
kinda hard to see them... but they're silver with black spots. not anything exotic, just your typical $1.99 fish. i like the weird buddha statue thingy. i got high today and stared at the tank for like 20 minutes. watching fish is soothing and theraputical, and i love the sound of the water pump.
today i tried to get more organized. i bought a filing thing and put away all my cell phone bills, car insurance shit, bank statements, etc. before everything was just laying around on the floor or shoved in some random drawer. then i got an index card box for all my atm and deposit receipts. i also bought a notebook to record all my nightly earnings. i've also been looking at different clubs and i'm planning to go hardcore pretty soon, working for entire weeks at a time. possibly at places near detroit. i dunno yet. i make enough money where i'm at now, but i could make more. there's no harm in trying because it's bound to be profitable, and for the most part i'm sitting on my ass 3-4 days out of the week.
well, i have to pee and this entry is boring, so bye.
so i had a best friend... but she backstabbed me by stealing money and now i pass her car on the freeway while she's coming home from a night at a different club. whatever. it seems like the only genuine friend i have left is jeff, who is growing increasingly fed up with the fact that our relationship "won't go anywhere" and causing me so much guilt. he says he is in love with me... but i push him away because i can't handle having a boyfriend. i haven't wanted a boyfriend since dan broke up with me. he fucked me up. working in an environment with men has also made me realize that there are so many other "dans" out there, men who are fucking psycho and cannot respect a woman. i am not eager to date, let alone commit. i have no idea when this will change. i also hate the fact that most men my age are poor and still live with their parents, which makes it feel like a lame high school relationship. not cool.
so i guess i'm sorta becomming a hermit and i don't mind it. call me self-involved. i always manage to make myself happy. today i went to meijer's and bought a little fishtank and two fish. their names are zig and zag. :)
kinda hard to see them... but they're silver with black spots. not anything exotic, just your typical $1.99 fish. i like the weird buddha statue thingy. i got high today and stared at the tank for like 20 minutes. watching fish is soothing and theraputical, and i love the sound of the water pump.
today i tried to get more organized. i bought a filing thing and put away all my cell phone bills, car insurance shit, bank statements, etc. before everything was just laying around on the floor or shoved in some random drawer. then i got an index card box for all my atm and deposit receipts. i also bought a notebook to record all my nightly earnings. i've also been looking at different clubs and i'm planning to go hardcore pretty soon, working for entire weeks at a time. possibly at places near detroit. i dunno yet. i make enough money where i'm at now, but i could make more. there's no harm in trying because it's bound to be profitable, and for the most part i'm sitting on my ass 3-4 days out of the week.
well, i have to pee and this entry is boring, so bye.