and...
So other than that....
I've lost about 10lbs since escaping back to Japan. We'll call it the not having any money diet. Instead of driving, instead of taking subways or trains, one is forced to walk. a lot. And to eat as little as possible. Make the food last as long as possible. Of course, I gained something like 25 lbs at home (I blame mom's cooking, the availability of snack food, and no will power) and probably around 10 lbs that last month in Japan when I was stressed, pissed off, and more than a little self-hating, so I have a ways to go before I feel like myself again...
It's not really fair that it's so easy to gain weight and so hard to lose it. I can gain 1-2 lbs in a single day, and yet to lose 1-2 lbs it takes a week...
I've gotten myself completely addicted to Gossip Girl. Chuck Bass, you know, the bad boy with a heart of gold beneath his many jaded layers...yum.
Day before yesterday I ran into a dude from a Taiwanese metal band that I knew back in my Taiwan days. He's staying at the same hostel. Random, but cool. We spent the night having the most amazing conversation about music. About the importance of meaning in a song and in a bands "life cycle." In this, we were both thinking about Chthonic and their stress on Taiwanese independence and human rights. About lyrics vs. music. (he's a vocalist and lyrics usually mean very little to me) About appreciating skill and complexity of a song and actually LIKING the song. and that they can be two different things. It's entirely possible for me to say, "this song is good, but I don't like it." though explaining why can sometimes be harder. . . some songs just feel right. best night in a while.
I told you I had to take that personality test for that job interview, right? It was a meyer-briggs test, if you've heard of it? I've taken it before but don't remember what I got last time. This time I got INFJ. Which is, apparently, the rarest personality, about 1 percent of the population is INFJ. I've read quite a bit about it lately. I found quite a bit of what I read to hit home and I would say, from what I've read, I'm doomed to forever be somewhat emo and quite possibly single and alone. sad.
Also, recent events have made me once again ponder how I seem to both live my life and watch my life as if I am a separate entity. I often feel like the things that happen to me don't really matter because this body is rather insignificant in the big picture. I feel like I'm watching a movie, yes, parts of it make me sad or happy or whatever, but I don't feel actually connected to the events. They don't seem to matter in the long run. I'm not sure I'm feeling the feelings I should be feeling...And this is why music means so much to me. Life doesn't really make me feel very much, but certain songs make my heart feel like it's going to explode.