Title: Slipping
Author: NoCleverSig
Summary: When Helen calls Kate, "Ashley," the two women find they may have more in common than they once thought.
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Rating: General
Characters: Helen Magnus, Kate Freelander, Bigfoot
Season: 2, sometime after Eulogy
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Sanctuary or its characters and am making no profit from my playtime with them.
Author's Note: It's taken me awhile to warm up to Kate. This story is therapy in that direction. Enjoy. Feedback always encouraged. Peace. NCS
Slipping
(copyright 2010, NoCleverSig)
Kate Freelander sat on the edge of the examination table bleeding, wincing, and mentally kicking herself in the ass.
This was gonna leave a scar.
Helen Magnus hovered over her in full physician mode, white lab coat on; brunette hair tied back, busily working on the cut that crossed Kate's eye brow. She looked tired, Kate thought fleetingly, keeping her one good eye on Magnus. Well, running this asylum and at least a dozen others like it around the world probably took its toll. Besides, the woman never slept. What was up with that?
"Hand me the cleanser and the swabs, please," Magnus directed the Big Guy who was assisting her. Kate couldn't suppress a snort. Bigfoot in sterile gloves. Now that's a sight you don't see every day.
"Tilt your head back," Magnus told her, ignoring the sound and gently nudging Kate's chin upward. "This may sting a bit."
Kate flinched.
"Sorry," Helen said, "But the wound's deep, and I have to clean it properly to avoid infection. Carastats are notorious for their, shall we say, less than hygienic claws."
"Yeah, well it lives in a sewer. I guess that should be a clue, huh?"
Helen smiled and went on with her work.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Kate thought to herself. She knew better. Was better. She had the beastie cornered. All she needed to do was bring it down. Gun aimed, tranquilizer at the ready, she turned just for a second to make sure Henry was okay behind her and BANG! Beastie swipe to the head, and she goes down.
"You mustn't be too hard on yourself," Magnus told her. Had the woman just read her mind or what? Could she even do that? "These things happen in our line of work," Helen went on. Freaky.
Well, maybe your line of work but not mine, Kate thought. Not before she'd come here anyhow. Kate Freelander prided herself on being good, more than good, at what she did. Yeah, she got into jams, but she got out of them too: always one step ahead of the baddies. She'd slipped a bit though since she'd been at the Sanctuary. That's what happens when you start to think about people other than yourself, she thought. Things slip.
"Eh," Kate shrugged, prompting Magnus to remind her not to move again as she applied the stitches. "I should have known it would jump me. Damn ghoul."
Helen's hand slipped.
"Ouch!" Kate let out a cry. "What the hell?"
"Sorry, I'm sorry." Helen said, shaking her head, casting a quick glance at the Big Guy who looked at her with….concern maybe? Kate wasn't sure. But the strange look that crossed Magnus's face was gone as quickly as it came. And now Bigfoot was unwrapping gauze from a package with his harry, glove-clad paws and everyone was back to normal. Well, as normal as they ever got.
Kate cast a one-eyed glance between the doc and BG. Something had just gone down between them, and she had no clue what it was. Spooky. As much as she had grown to admire Dr. Magnus over the past few months, sometimes the woman was just plain spooky. That was the only word for it.
Magnus finished the stitches with no more slips. Big Guy handed Magnus the gauze and tape. She dressed the wound, and put a hand on Kate's shoulder. "That's it, Ashley. If you're head hurts tonight, which it likely will, take some Advil. But if you need anything stronger, come see me."
Kate froze. Did she just say what she thought she said? Kate looked over at the Big Guy who was looking back at her. Yeah, she did. Meanwhile, Magnus was cleaning the examination area, removing her gloves, and acting as if nothing had happened. Should she say something? Should she let it go? What should she do?
"Uh, Dr. Magnus?"
"Hmm?" Helen replied, busily scribbling notes now in her file.
"You just called me Ashley."
Helen lifted her head, confused.
"Excuse me?"
"Just now, a second ago," Kate said, gesturing backwards with her thumb. "When you were talking to me about the pills? You called me Ashley. I guess you didn't notice."
The room fell silent. Probably only for a second or so, but it felt like an eternity to Kate. Maybe she should have let it go. God, why was she always making the wrong choice?
Helen shot a quick glance at the Big Guy. He nodded. Magnus's face turned pale.
"I'm sorry, Kate," Helen said, clutching the file to her chest, arms crossed. "You said something earlier that…." She stopped herself. "It doesn't matter. Just a slip of the tongue. My apologies. I have to go enter these notes. Excuse me." And with a brief smile and a nod she was gone.
Kate just sat there. Big Guy didn't move. Finally, she turned to him. "I didn't mean to make her feel bad. I just didn't know what to do."
Big Guy grunted quietly, "Not your fault."
"Well do you think I should go talk to her?" Kate hated talking. She wasn't good at it. Comfort wasn't one of her qualities, and it wasn't like she and Dr. Magnus were close. Heck, she didn't even know Ashley except the freaky Cabal Ashley.
Bigfoot shrugged. "Talking can be good sometimes."
"Great," she said. "Lot of help you are."
He shrugged again. "I'm going upstairs. You decide," and he picked up the trash and left.
Kate sat on the cold metal table a few minutes longer watching Magnus through the glass window in the infirmary office. Her back was to Kate. All she could see was Magnus's white coat and her dark hair tied back in a pony tail. She was looking at the computer screen. Her hands clasped in front of her face, elbows resting on the table. She wasn't typing a thing.
Kate took a deep breath, and eased off the table. The room spun a bit. Damn, her head hurt! She looked back over to the office. Magnus hadn't budged. She just…sat there.
Decision time, Freelander, she told herself. Bolt upstairs, take some pills, download some music, and forget this whole weirdness ever happened, or go and talk to the boss. Every impulse in her body wanted to skip, but somehow she found herself in front of Magnus's door, and she was knocking.
"Come in," Magnus said quietly.
Kate stood behind Helen, hands tucked in the back pockets of her jeans, nervously rocking back and forth. She didn't know what to say, so she just started talking.
"Hey Dr. Magnus, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry if I said something wrong back there. I didn't mean to, you know, make you feel bad."
Magnus sat motionless at her desk, still staring at the screen.
"You didn't say anything wrong, Kate," she answered, her voice low and hoarse.
"Well, you said that I said…something. I was just wondering what it was."
Helen shook her head. "It was nothing. Just a term Ashley used to use. It made me think of her."
Kate hesitated. She was curious. What could she possibly have said that would make Magnus think of her dead daughter? "Can I ask you what it was?"
Magnus took a long time to answer, and Kate thought she might have made things even worse, hurt her even more. Damnit. But then she heard Magnus laugh. "Ghoul," she answered. "You called the Carastat a ghoul. Ashley called everything that."
Kate smiled. "Yeah? Well, I think I picked that up from Henry."
Helen nodded her head. "Who picked it up from Ashley."
"Guess so." Kate laughed.
They fell silent again. Magnus still facing her computer. Was she crying? Is that why she wouldn't look at her? Kate wasn't sure. Bolt or stay?
Kate walked up to Magnus and laid a hand on her shoulder.
"I'm really sorry about your daughter, Dr. Magnus."
Helen turned and looked up at her. Her blue eyes were glistening, but there were no tears. She laid her own hand atop of Kate's and smiled. "Thank you, Kate. Coming from you, that means a great deal to me."
Yeah, she was definitely slipping, Kate thought. But maybe if there were people there to catch you, it was okay.
END