[audio]

[nocakestoday]

There was a man once said

When I spread out my hand here today,
I catch no more than a ray
To feel of between thumb and fingers;
No lasting effect of it lingers.

I heard him today, outside.  He didn't have a thing to say to the daisies, no matter how loud they spoke.

We would have had a fine time, but lunch got away--purpled up my face and didn't

Comments

[8percentchance]

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who fell in a hole and said--

Fuck it, everyone knows that poem anyway. It's like the one with the Nevermores, everyone had to do a goddamn report on it in tenth grade, only worse because they never get past line two, like, hello, there's got to be more to it--

Fuck, off topic. Anyway, you wouldn't happen to know where I can score a dimebag of pot, because it sounds like you know a pretty good source?

((OOC: he's got the no inner monologue curse!))

[nocakestoday]

Quoth the raven? You've mistaken me for Lenore.

[ooc: Ah ha ha--first time Dru's been mistaken for a drug user. I love it, and that's possibly the best use of the no inner monologue curse ever.]

[8percentchance]

Well, so long as there's no one rapping at a chamber door, I think we'll be fine. By the way, I hope they don't mean rapping like Kanye West, because that'd just be awkward, having to this guy standing outside your door singing about golddiggers.

Shit, anyway, as I was saying. That song was on the radio today, that's all.

((OOC: XD thank you! Sorry, grammar fail!))

[nocakestoday]

Golddiggers?

...Rapping?

[ooc: Of course, and no worries!]

[8percentchance]

You know, girls who go with other guys because they're loaded with cash. Or other girls, it's the twenty-first century, apparently. Either way, they're only in the relationship for the wallet-size, occasionally the dick-size, but usually the first.

You don't know what rapping is? I'd totally show you it, but I left my musical abilities in the car.

[nocakestoday]

You've set everything flying off in confusion--naughty.

I've just gotten into the twentieth century...

[8percentchance]

Ah, well, confusion does that. Hey, hey, I didn't say the answer'd be one you'd like. I mean, there's some weird shit that goes down these days. Or up, depending.

Enjoy your stay, then. Neo dies, and Snape kills Dumbledore. there, I just saved you like, twenty dollars and six hundred pages of reading.

[nocakestoday]

Who are they, then?

[8percentchance]

Neo's the One or something--oh, honey, we have got to introduce you to the Matrix. It'll warp your mind, but it's got good effects. Well, until everyone and their mom decided to copy the bullet time so it looks cheap. Whatever, point is, it's a good movie, lots of action.

Snape's an asshole who's a good guy pretending to be a bad guy who's a prick either way. Dumbledore's his big old gay wizard boss.

[nocakestoday]

That clears it up nicely.

I don't like wizards. Are you one?

[8percentchance]

Glad to help. I mean, it's basically what I do.

Nope! Of course not. I'm a private defective--detective. Detective. Take my own cases, find cheating spouses, occasional triple homicide, that sort of thing.

[nocakestoday]

Ooh... I've met detectives before. They all tasted dusty.

[8percentchance]

Please, honey, I taste like cigarettes, or at least I'd better--

You're shitting me, right? Just trying to mess with my head, right?

[nocakestoday]

Your head's safe with me. I prefer throats.

[8percentchance]

I prefer keeping my remaining body parts in working condition, so, you know, I'll pass--

((OOC: Disconnected so fast, probably with falling backwards in his chair and everything.))