Everything is changing will I change too?
*~As you wish
For kingdom come
The one to know all the answers
You think you dwell in wisdom's sea
Still, sweet ignorance is the key
To a poet's paradise
Challenge the Riddler and you will see~*
-Nightwish
Well I'll be leaving for Europe in 2 days! Im so excited but also I can't help but think......
Its werid to think that I'll be leaving in just a few days. It dosn't feel like I'm going anywhere, but I am. I wonder if this will really impact my life, open my eyes to a new world. Change the way I see things and people or if its just a vacation out of the country. Its a dream come true literally, I've always wanted to go across seas and now that I have my chance I'm second thinking it. Why? Am I crazy? But what if I get back and I've changed myslf compleatly, what if I can never look at anyone or myself the same again for some reason. I don't know what or why I'm thinking what I am. I dont want to think about the future, I dont want to think about what will be or wont be. I don't want to think which college I'll be going to or where I will move. Where I'll live and with whom. I just want to live in the moments that I have and just enjoy them and forget everything that would cause me stress, or greif or pain in my life.But unfortunatly I can't do that no matter how hard I try. Ive been falling away from people and people have been falling apart around me, am I going to fall too? Or will I stay, my head just barily above the water? I want to do so many things and see so many places. Will I get to? Or will I be stuck living the average american life, get pulled into the loophole and become a statistic like the rest?. I'm supposed to be happy, so why do I feel like something is missing?
Well to end this entry on a happier note I will miss thoes I care for, I know I'm not going away forever. (I could only wish) But It will probably be good for me to get away from EVERYTHING and just have some Kole time. Meet some new people and explore. I dont think I could or should expect anything more. But thats enough for me. I am looking forward to thing, I'm also a little scared. But I'll get over it.
For kingdom come
The one to know all the answers
You think you dwell in wisdom's sea
Still, sweet ignorance is the key
To a poet's paradise
Challenge the Riddler and you will see~*
-Nightwish
Well I'll be leaving for Europe in 2 days! Im so excited but also I can't help but think......
Its werid to think that I'll be leaving in just a few days. It dosn't feel like I'm going anywhere, but I am. I wonder if this will really impact my life, open my eyes to a new world. Change the way I see things and people or if its just a vacation out of the country. Its a dream come true literally, I've always wanted to go across seas and now that I have my chance I'm second thinking it. Why? Am I crazy? But what if I get back and I've changed myslf compleatly, what if I can never look at anyone or myself the same again for some reason. I don't know what or why I'm thinking what I am. I dont want to think about the future, I dont want to think about what will be or wont be. I don't want to think which college I'll be going to or where I will move. Where I'll live and with whom. I just want to live in the moments that I have and just enjoy them and forget everything that would cause me stress, or greif or pain in my life.But unfortunatly I can't do that no matter how hard I try. Ive been falling away from people and people have been falling apart around me, am I going to fall too? Or will I stay, my head just barily above the water? I want to do so many things and see so many places. Will I get to? Or will I be stuck living the average american life, get pulled into the loophole and become a statistic like the rest?. I'm supposed to be happy, so why do I feel like something is missing?
Well to end this entry on a happier note I will miss thoes I care for, I know I'm not going away forever. (I could only wish) But It will probably be good for me to get away from EVERYTHING and just have some Kole time. Meet some new people and explore. I dont think I could or should expect anything more. But thats enough for me. I am looking forward to thing, I'm also a little scared. But I'll get over it.