(no subject)

[nobodys7angel7]

still sad that I'm not going away to college. maybe I'll transfer after this first year. Katie left for college today. I don't know what I'm going to do without her. Bethany leaves at the end of this week. it just sucks. I'm going to miss all of them so much. steph, rebecca leave soon too. I'm still just really disappointed in myself. I'm smart, I mean I was ranked 54 in our class. I could go to a lot of good schools. I hate having people ask me where I'm going to school, cuz I kind of feel embarassed by going to occ. it's a great school with a wonderful music program. I'm not embarassed by the school, I'm embarassed by me. I'm embarassed that I settled. I'm embarassed that I listened to my family who encouraged me to stay here. I feel like I'm not using my full potential. I don't think anyone really understands what I mean. you all, anyone who reads this, probably just thinks I'm some depressed annoying person who keeps talking about this one subject. but if I don't say it here, then it just kind of wells up inside me. I

I want to start school. I'm fucking sick of working at Staples. I mean I love my job. but I'm sick of the uniformity. I want change. I want to start my life.

the end