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If I had a son, and I had to tell him the most important thing there is to know about living, it would be to believe in yourself, and to have an understanding of who you truly are, not what others think of you. If you can do this - if you can hold true to yourself, then live on, breathe. Live the way you should. Life isn't meant to be lived in
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However, they have put me through a lot of heartache through the years. Esp my dad, who grew up in a difficult situation has subjected me to emotional abuse for years. It's gotten better since I don't live with them. But I am a strong person because of it all. Sometimes, I am a very cold person because that's all I know how to do, shut down. I even made my mom cry tonight because I had shut down and had no interest in the discussion (see todays entries). Since I've been with Chris, I spend time with his family, and have become good friends with his mom, and they are teaching me to live a life controlled by sanity, not emotion. When I go home, first, I see my previous life I led in retrospect... I see the fighting as a subjective 3rd person view... And then I get sucked into it. As well, I have been screwed over by so many jackasses I've dated in the past, I have been forced to be a strong person so that I don't just crumble down and die.
I really do appreciate the uplifting note at this point in my life. It means a lot for you to say that about me. :) Thx Brit.
PS-What are you doing over TG break? I will be in town for the weekend. I was going to go look at that horse Spider.. but that is all ruined now, so I shall have some extra time.
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