➽ (journal entry) (oo1)
The night I laid down to rest in Kimlasca, it was Lorelei Decan 41, N.D. 2018. The following morning ought to have been Lorelei Decan 42, however, given what the others have said and the strangeness of this world, I cannot assume that today is now Lorelei Decan 44. This is my third morning in this place called “Landel's Institute”, directed by Dr. Martin Landel. I've slept two nights without remembering when I put my head to the pillow.
I have been unable to find any calendars in this place, and when I ask my nurse, she tells me not to worry about dates. If I were mad, I think that would be highly unproductive. What good can it do to keep one sheltered from and ignorant of the world outside? I should think both Luke and I stand as testament to the folly of that attitude.
For Luke, I'm quite positive that this would be a simple task! By this, I mean writing a journal. I've long admired his diligence in keeping his diary, and however much he protested the task, that he remained faithful to it until the very end certainly paints another picture. Does it not? I confess that I had, in my youth, made an attempt to keep my own diary. Of course, there was simply no place that the maids did not know of, and I had the greatest difficulty keeping myself on task. Isn't that deplorable? How little it spoke of my resolve! Especially because I had meant it as a show of solidarity with Luke. He certainly needn't have been so dismissive when I proposed that we write together, and read aloud once finished! I have lost track
This time, however, it is different. Nothing compels me to write this but my own mind, and as Luke wrote in order to remember and never forget, I will follow his example. Whatever they tell me, whatever this so-called institution presents, I am Natalia Luzu Kimlasca-Lanvaldear! Born in N.D. 1999, raised by King Ingobert the Sixth, I am the proud princess-and I will return to Kimlasca, return to my people, and continue to dedicate myself to them.
I am Natalia! Natalia Luzu Kimlasca-Lanvaldear, princess of Kimlasca, I am Natalia Lanvaldear, and I will never be made to forget my kingdom.
There. I ought to discuss what has happened.
On my first day, I woke later in the day than I am accustomed. Of course, I woke in a room unknown to me, with white walls and sparse décor. This journal was on my desk, and the other bed was empty. My room number: F18. A nurse arrived, calling me “Sarah Drew”, and telling me that I was a patient in “Landel's Institute”. She escorted me to a game room, where I met Keyba Inuzooka (not Conor Lowell), of Kohnohagury, a “hidden village” in the land of Fire. Apparently, in his world, there are countries such as the Country of Water and the Country of Wind. Neither of us had heard of the other's world, and I would experience similar reactions throughout the day. We'd all of us had the misfortune of arriving when most of the other patients were visiting a nearby town, thus everyone with whom I spoke was confused.
Kiba proved to be a great comfort; his confidence is truly admirable. As he knew that he wasn't crazy, and I knew that I wasn't also, we would simply have to believe one another. Luke Castellan, whom I met at lunch, also helped me. I must have been wearing every bit of my heart on my sleeve, as almost the first thing he said to me was, “You're not crazy.” He pointed out some of the strange things about the institute, such as how few of us there were and the announcements. He also advised me that it's bad luck to refuse a meal provided by one's host, and we spent a moment comparing the nurses to birds, which did provide a bit of levity.
This must read as incredibly tedious; I've heard some say that they keep their diaries always upon them so to have something sensational ever available. I do not write for entertainment, but to remember the kindness I've received, at the very least. Still, it would be nice if I could do that and make it interesting! Perhaps I should embellish on the nurses who might have been birds? One had a very beak like nose!
On that day, it seemed that every time I felt at all encouraged, I swiftly, somehow, brought myself back down. In the library, I recognized none of the books yet could read the text. I spoke with a girl named Claire (not Emma), from Texas, a state in the country of The United States of America, ruled at her present by President George W. Bush. Texas, in some areas, is “sort of like a desert”. She recognized most of the books; so, are we on Urth^Earth? In the United States of America? [The writing here becomes rushed, a little sloppier, excited] It sounds like an incredible place, without this as a blemish on its land. Claire called it a “democracy”, meaning, there aren't any nobles and the citizens elect officials whom elect the president, and the president serves for four year “terms”. But, only two at maximum! In this system, every person owns or rents land. They also play base ball, a game with bats and plates and innings, which the nurse seems to like.
Urth^Earth, according to Claire, has over 150 countries! Where some form of monarchy is usually prevalent. Astonishing, that a world can exist in which there are so many countries coexisting side-by-side, with all sorts of different governments and systems! I was unable to ask Claire whether the entire world is at peace, but she did relate that the United States of America is. [the writing slows, returns to the norm, now with darker spots of ink from hesitation] I cannot help but wish I could ask wonder what Asch would think of a democracy. Not because Only Does it better serve its citizens, better reduce poverty and war? Is there a perfect system? To say that the people would be unable or unfit to handle the responsibility of the vote, is tantamount to saying that because it would be difficult, the world had better stay with the Score.
Yet, I must confess that I cannot imagine a world without nobles. It's silly, isn't it? In the end, it wasn't blood or position that mattered.
Returning to my first day: the other patients must have returned for dinner, though I dozed through it. At night, the doors opened, and I found a light-producing fonmachine under my pillow (called a flashlight), and another fonmachine (a raydio, according to Guy) on the desk, both of which I took with me into the hall. There I encountered Himemiya Anthy, a young girl (woman?) also from Urth^Earth. She explained a little about the nights at Landel's Institute, and allowed me to accompany her. While other patients spoke of dreams of their homelands and doors that lead to different places, we met with nothing strange, aside from the peculiar feeling of walking in one moment, and waking in the next, feeling rested. So went my first day and my first night.
Perhaps I'll begin the second day with a summary, and elaborate after: I woke, spoke with King Edgar in the Cathedral, enjoyed a surprisingly satisfactory “brunch” with Luke, witnessed a “movie” with Guy, spoke with Anise over “playdough”, and dined with my roommate, Mighty Pirate Hunter Morgan LeFlay.
I was able to wash up a little in a restroom before being taken to the cathedral. On the way, I noted a bulletin board, and on it a message from Abyss Red! Which, of course, is Luke. Abyss Pink and Orange also replied; I can't find the words to express how happy I was, and shamefully, how relieved. We made plans, through writing there, to meet through the day. At the cathedral, it was Edgar's injury that first caught my eye. I am no stranger to wounds, but it surprised me, even though Himemiya had told me that monsters came out at night. He proved to be more than all right; charming, even!
In fact, I do believe that he may have been flirting at certain points. I won't deny that he's hands-oh, really!
For all that the circumstances are so bleak, there are some truly wonderful people here, people who make everything much brighter. I brought myself further shame with my weakness, with admitting that I had hoped for what Edgar explained to be the accepted theory among the patients: that they had been taken from all sorts of different worlds and times, that it was possible, that none of them were crazy. The previous day had shaken me, to be alone, to be surrounded by difference, told and seen at every corner as mad. How could it be, can it be possible? If it isn't, then there is no Auldrant, and to say that, to even think it, is an unforgivable betrayal of my people. This I knew and know now, but I was afraid of my own weakness.
He spoke to me wonderfully, urging faith when surrounded by deception. King Edgar must be an incredible king; the people of Figaro are fortunate to have him. That he has been removed from them only underscores how foul Landel is.
At about this time, I noticed that the board had sheets for suggestions, including a vote as to what “movie” to watch. Not knowing the term, I made a post of my own, where I learned that a movie is something like a play, only recorded, much as music can be recorded to a fondisc. I cannot fathom what sort of technology would allow it! Someone named Tsukasa explained each of the options, which were The Sound of Music, Casablanca, Singing in the Rain, and King Kong. I would express a wish that something other than King Kong had won the vote, but given how little of the “film” I watched, I suppose it doesn't matter.
[Another section, for as long as it mentions Luke, filled with the heavy pressure of a lingering, hesitant pen] When it was time to eat, I was taken to the cafeteria, where I found Luke. Seeing him ag It had been a month, but, I hadn't seen any He looked well, just as he had the last before. That time is what he last remembers on Auldrant, as well. Speaking with him again, seeing him again, I hadn't had hoped for it at home, but for him to be here, for any of them to be here! No, I had hoped for it, as well. Here again, I behaved shamefully: to be glad that my friends were in this terrible place, to be glad for their support and for the confirmation from another, and another, that Auldrant and Kimlasca are real.
Yet, I would not think ill of any of them for feeling the same about me, thus I must balance my reproach. Is it wrong to rely on a friend, and be cheered by mutual support? I think not!
With Luke, I'm af For Luke especially, I must be strong. For too long, I burdened him with my expectations, with a our my promise, with many things. I must show him that here, that finally, I am his friend, Luke's friend, from childhood and forever. I'll make it impossible for him to look at me and worry!
The strength of my words here come in part, I fear, from the time I've had to deliberate. After leaving him, I felt [ink dot, heavy] many things. Finding Guy in the Sun Room, where King Kong would be played, put me at immediate ease. Imagine: he's been here for twenty days. We've long since decided that questioning this sort of thing yields only a headache, but I couldn't help but marvel. While Guy may not have been the most prestigious of Malkuth nobles, a disappearance of such length could not have gone unnoticed: not when he had been a member of the party that secured the world, not when it was known that we are close. Things are even more complicated: he left Auldrant in N.D. 2020. The night before, he, Luke, and Anise had moved through a door into Baticul, where father worried over my disappearance, only, in the context of their disappearances as well, at a time so soon to Luke's coming-of-age ceremony! As you can see, it doesn't make even a bit of sense.
Of course, Guy told me not to worry, and opened himself to questions. Twenty days hasn't changed him; I wonder if anything could? He's convinced that this planet is Urth^Earth, in part because a friend of his, Claude, is from Urth^Earth and knows it. Guy said that the fonmachine (only, it isn't a fonmachine, as nothing operates on fonons here!) in my room was a radio, and that it sometimes broad casted messages, but they were sometimes traps. When I remembered myself and asked how he was fairing, he answered as expected: insisting he was fine, but not denying the impact the institute has had. We agreed to rely on one another, and as the movie ended (the woman did scream a lot, but I may feel more for the giant ape!), parted.
The bulletin board became quite active with talk of “clubs”, which I didn't understand. I inquired into a “Cake Club”, where it seemed they baked at night, and received directions to a room for later use.
My luck in finding my friends continued, though in the Arts and Crafts Room, Anise found me. I was puzzling over something called “playdough”, which despite being “edible”, is not meant to be eaten. It has a curious smell, and a salty taste, but seems mostly meant for modeling. There are such fascinating things on this planet. I cannot help but wonder... how many worlds are represented here? How many systems of government and cultures? I want to know everything and everyone! Should we not all strive to connect? In this, surely, there is strength in numbers. Even if Landel can disorient us and remove the convenience of a shared language! Gathering sooner and preparing for such a future event would be most beneficial. But, I move ahead of myself.
Anise has been here for three weeks. The numbers are ever incredible! We spent most of our time with the dough, but she did tell me something that Guy had not, and Himemiya hinted: at night, the institute will select patients for “experiments”. Either brainwashing them into attacking friends, or being outright experimented on. At that point, I became well and truly angry. The injustices only keep building: taking us from our homes, dressing us in awful clothing, attempting to remove our identities, to convince us that we are other people, to convince us to abandon our worlds, subjecting us to a game of pretend during the day as if we were delusional fools, while at night! At night, out come monsters and experiments! I won't accept this, not for myself or for any other person. I may not have my bow, but at night (and only then, curiously), I can feel fonons. Even without them, I would not be powerless, because I will not be powerless.
Let them read this, if they will: Martin Landel, you won't succeed! I shall see you brought to justice, and each person delivered to where he or she belongs! I swear it on my name, Natalia Luzu Kimlasca-Lanvaldear, on my father, King Ingobert the Sixth, on my kingdom, Kimlasca, and on my people.
I was still rather charged when escorted back to my room for dinner, but I put it aside to greet my roommate. Her name is Morgan LeFlay, a, or the(?) Mighty Pirate Hunter. She's amazing! Very talented with a sword, sailing all the seas, defeating pirates for a price! I almost regretted that Auldrant has not had recent trouble with pirates; almost because we've really had enough to worry about without that. She also has such a way with words; I remember the phrase “like a steel blade through a jugular” both because it was crude and poetic. Dinner was steak, and not one of bad quality. I expect they think that they are doing us a favor, or perhaps, are “funny”.
Once the doors opened, I hastened over to the room in which the Cake Club would first meet. At M60, I met Mori (with whom I'd communicated on the board), Amaterasu, and Honey (with Usa-chan). They were all kind, and Honey may have captured both my and “Ammy-sama's” hearts. I haven't any idea how old he is, only clearly too young for this place, and so sweet, so cute! He even gave me a nickname, “Lia-hime”. I've never had a nickname! Shall I “go by” it, or keep it especially for Honey? I think the latter.
In any case, the intention was to move to the kitchens and bake, only, things went awry. After the radio suddenly broad casted, something about a ring I didn't have, the intercom went on and Landel (I assume) spoke, before an awful noise was made. After that, I couldn't understand what the others were saying. They seemed to be speaking the same language, but it was absolute nonsense to my ears; and obvious that they thought the same of mine. What obnoxious gall that man has! I had wondered what magic had been done, as if a world can have a variety of language and dialects, surely worlds must, and surely those on Urth^Earth don't speak Fonic, surely I wouldn't be able to read their books. But, to throw it in our faces! A reminder of his control, and of our powerlessness.
I am proud to tell you that we all were, after our initial confusion, not discouraged! Resolving to get by with gestures, we began the journey to the kitchen. Unfortunately, we didn't get far before the night “ended”, or however one should put it, when another announcement sounds and then you wake up.
Which brings me to now and my cramping hand. I doubt Luke ever wrote this much, likely better recognizing what was and wasn't important after years of experience. I'm not sure what is and isn't yet, and cannot help but want to write everything. Even now, I wonder, what have I left out? What have I forgotten?
I must secure the following: the names that the nurse call Anise, Guy, and Luke, as well as their room numbers. It seems that patients are often “released” without warning, the only way to ascertain being a room check. I don't yet know what “released” means. From the little I've read, the sense is that they are somewhere in this world. Have they been brainwashed into believing the lie, or did Landel return them? The latter seems unlikely, but I can hardly guess at his motives at this point. If they are out there, it will make it more difficult to keep my promise. I'm loath to abandon any victim of this institute; hopefully, files exist as to their current addresses.
It must soon be time for breakfast, and so I will give my hand its needed break. Until next time,
[ooc: 1) insert a slight retcon of her initial Day 51 post where a) no mentioned of journal writing takes place and b) baking is assumed to have happened, as I hadn't cleared the details with the Cake Club! ... Not that anyone read all that and got to this note. o_o]