Jul 02, 2001 13:31
I had a get up and want to crawl back into bed morning. Nothing seems to be going right. I don't have to be at work until 5:00pm and I have the rest of the afternoon stretched in front of me with nothing but empty space. My boyfriend is off hiking with the guys this week and I miss him . He comes back on Thursday, but two weeks later he will be going to basic training for the Army National Guard. Between basic and AIT I will maybe get to visit him for a couple days, but he won't be home until Christmas.
Women are not supposed to live their lives for men. I am supposed to be independent and strong and not belong to anyone. I rarely fit into such categories as "supposed to." Is it so wrong that I have more fun with Tom than without him? That I appreciate and value his opinion? What is so bad about taking care of each other? And about that possesive thing: There are few things in life more comforting and reassuring than hearing the words "my girl" from the man I love. I like feeling safe and protected in his arms and if he wants to open doors for me, who am I to demand he stop? So I happen to be more likely to do the dishes or laundry, big deal. It's not because I am the woman and I have to do those things, it is because I would rather do them than cook dinner (any sane person would keep me as far from the stove as possible) or vacuum. Isn't that the whole theory behind marriage being a partnership? Each partner contributes their strengths to the relationship, which ideally compensates for the other's weaknesses. I am not the girl in high school who always needed a boyfriend or the woman who dates solely to find a husband. I understand and appreciate that a woman thankfully does not need a man to validate her. I am tired of being made to feel less a successful woman because I fell in love and started thinking as a team instead of an individual. A man has the right to do that, to care for his family and be resposible for it and put their needs above his own. And yet, as a modern woman, I am supposed to think for and of myself. Isn't that a bit of a stereotype?