(no subject)
I LIKE HIM, AND IM GOING TO MESS IT UP.. MAYBE SHE CAN BUTT IN AND MAKE SURE I MESS IT UP. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST TELL HIM. I THINK HE WINKED AT ME AGAIN. IT'S SO CUTE I REALLY LIKE IT. I DONT KNOW IF HE'S WORTH THIS MUCH, I HOPE SO. I THINK WE MIGHT CARPOOLE TO SCHOOL TOGETHER, THAT WOULD BE GREAT. I'D LIKE THAT.. I LIKE YOU. UGH.... ALRIGHT I'M GUNNA GO NOW BYE. *SHUTS THE CAR DOOR* TEARS ROLL AND COLLECT SADDNESS AS THEY SLIP AND FALL DOWN MY CHEAKS. I SLOWLY WALK TOWARDS MY HOUSE AND I HOPE HE CALLS OUT TO ME TO SAY HEY, I LIKE YOU TOO. I SEE THE HEADLIGHTS TURN AND THEN THE SOUND OF A CR DRIVE BY. I KNOW THAT'S HIM LEAVING.. THIS IS THE WORST FEELING EVER. WHAT IF HE'S MAD? WHAT ID HE HATES ME? WHAT IF HE LIKES HER AND NOT ME? THATS SO TYPICAL OF HIM, OF EVERY GUY EVER I ENCOUNTER. MAYBE I SHOULD SLIP INTO THE CURTAINS AND HIDE MY FEET SO YOU REALLY CAN'T SEE ME, THEN THE WORLD WOULD E A BETTER PLACE, BESIDES THE CURTAINS ARE SOFT, AND OF HEAVY MATERIAL. PRETTY TO LOOK AT, HARD TO OPEN TO VIEW THE PLAY. WHAT IF HE LIKES ME, MAYBE ITS A FRONT JUST FOR ME BECAUSE HE HASN'T 'GOTTEN ANY' IN A WHILE AND MAYBE HE KNOWS THAT I LIKE HIM AND HE'S GOING TO USE ME AND MAKE ME CRY, NO NOT CRY, JUST BE MORE PETRIFIED OF GUYS THAN I ALREADY AM.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
i dreamt of a fever,
one that would cure me of this cold, winter set heart.
with heat to melt these frozen tears and burned with reasons
as to carry on.
into these twisted months i plunge without a light to follow
but i swear that i would follow anything
if it would just get me out of here.
and so you get six months to adapt
and then you get two more to leave town.
in the event that you do adapt we still might not want you around.
and i fell for the promise of a life with a purpose
but i know that that is impossible now.
and so i drink to stay warm
and to kill selected memories
because i just can't think anymore about that or about her tonight
i give myself three days to feel better
or i swear i'll drive right off a fucking cliff
because if i can't make myself feel better
then how can i expect anyone else to give a shit
and i scream for the sunlight or a car to take me anywhere
just get me past this dead and eternal snow
because i swear that i am dying, slowly but its happening
and if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere
just take me there and lie to me and say it's going to be alright
its going to be alright, yeah you worry too much kid,
its going to be alright.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
i dreamt of a fever,
one that would cure me of this cold, winter set heart.
with heat to melt these frozen tears and burned with reasons
as to carry on.
into these twisted months i plunge without a light to follow
but i swear that i would follow anything
if it would just get me out of here.
and so you get six months to adapt
and then you get two more to leave town.
in the event that you do adapt we still might not want you around.
and i fell for the promise of a life with a purpose
but i know that that is impossible now.
and so i drink to stay warm
and to kill selected memories
because i just can't think anymore about that or about her tonight
i give myself three days to feel better
or i swear i'll drive right off a fucking cliff
because if i can't make myself feel better
then how can i expect anyone else to give a shit
and i scream for the sunlight or a car to take me anywhere
just get me past this dead and eternal snow
because i swear that i am dying, slowly but its happening
and if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere
just take me there and lie to me and say it's going to be alright
its going to be alright, yeah you worry too much kid,
its going to be alright.