fic: It's In the Vows Chapter Three
Title:Til We Ain't Strangers Anymore
Pairings/Characters: Puck/Quinn, Quinn/Jesse, Santana, Rachel
Words: 6,973
Spoilers: none, but big ones for The Vow.
Rating: T
Summary: Quinn still doesn't remember anything. Can they work past it?
Chapter Three: Til We Ain't Strangers Anymore
The next couple of weeks were really tense. Puck didn't have much to say to Quinn. He was the most mad at her he had ever been. And he really couldn't be too angry at her, it wasn't her fault that she couldn't remember. That was the frustrating part. That he had to keep reminding himself of that. At the moment, he was writing some music in the bedroom. Quinn was out with Santana and Brittany. Doing what. He had no idea. He was letting some of his pain and confusion come out into his music. They hadn't really talked in a few days, actually. He missed her. Missed her so much. She was there, but not there. It was incredibly frustrating. Puck still felt like he was tiptoeing around in his own home. He didn't want to do it anymore. He played with the strings, trying to get a tune for the words he'd written. That's how he actually liked to do things. He usually stumbled into great music that way. His voice, deep and husky, began to sing the words he'd written, his pain coming out.
I've been loving her all this time,
and she doesn't even remember
how can she forget when we met in
the month of September? My heart aches
to hold her she won't let me in
Out vows said till death in sickness and in health
It seems like I can't win
She's been mine for ten years now
I could lose her in a blink of an eye
I want to keep her and I can't think of how
I've been looking to the sky, asking God
to help me out since when does he not
answer your prayers?
That was all he had so far. Tears had brushed his cheeks. He brushed them away. He didn't put away his guitar just yet. He was strumming still. He was mostly playing nothing, just making the guitar make noise. He was glad he was alone. He didn't know what he would even say to anyone right now. That's when the apartment door sounded with a knock. Puck was exasperated. He was in boxer briefs and that's it. He hollered to hold on and grabbed up a pair of jeans. He pulled them on and did them up. He didn't bother with a shirt. He looked amazing without one, anyway. Then he hurried to the door. When he opened it up, it revealed Rachel Hudson. "Hey, Berry." He said, stepping back for her.
Rachel and Puck got along great. They were like brother and sister. He closed the door behind her. She looked up at him. "How are you, Noah?" She asked. "I've really been worried about you, I know this is hard on you." She said, as she followed him to the kitchen. He got her out a water. "You can talk to me if you need to, you know." She told him. Rachel cared about Puck a lot. She wanted to help him as best she could. He hadn't been talking much and she wanted him to spill his guts if he needed to. Finn hadn't been being the best friend he could be, and Rachel wanted to make sure he got things off his chest. He had to have a good outlet.
That had actually not surprised him. Puck was always having to deal with Rachel offering to talk to him about things. He liked it. It gave him a chance to get things off his chest. Right now, he wasn't sure what to say to her. He wasn't good at opening up when it wasn't Quinn. She was his rock. Not as she was now, of course. When she actually knew who she was. Puck didn't know if he wanted to let Rachel in like that. She was great, but Puck just wasn't sure. "Rachel, you're great, but I'm just not sure I want to talk."
Making a sympathetic noise, the little Jewish girl got into his pantry to start cooking. She wasn't going to take no for an answer. She was going to make sure he ate and talked. She got out noodles and tuna. She wanted to fix tuna casserole. She grabbed some cream of mushroom soup and some cheese, too. Then she set about getting a pot for the water. As she filled it up, she said, "You can tell me, Noah. I know you don't talk much, but you can tell me, okay? I want to make sure you talk about things. You can't hold everything in. It's bad and it can cause you harm." Rachel informed him.
Sighing, Puck watched her. She was moving about the kitchen, quick and assured. Puck didn't like this. She was not supposed to be the one doing this. But then again, if Quinn was herself, they wouldn't even be here in this situation. Sitting down at the kitchen island, running his hand over his shaved head, he sighed. He still wasn't ready to talk. "Rachel, again, I appreciate it, but I don't want to talk." It was bad enough that he probably still had a bit of his eyes being red rimmed going on. He just hoped she hadn't heard any of his music when she'd arrived. He'd never hear the end of it. Not to mention no one had ever heard his stuff, outside of Santana and Quinn.
Ignoring his protest, Rachel got him out a beer and put it in front of him. She even pulled the top off the bottle. Then she started opening up the cans of tuna. She replied, "Talk to me, Noah. I know Finn's being a crap friend and not letting you open up." She told him.
That was so far from any of Puck's concern. They had gone to college with Finn and Rachel. Puck had been close with Finn then. They of course were still friends, but Puck hadn't confided in him as often. They had grown a little apart, especially since Puck's label had gotten off the ground. He'd been busy. Especially since he was supposed to be working on stuff for his own album. Puck didn't know when it would be ready, but it was going to have anything he'd written with his feelings about Quinn and her amnesia. Puck didn't know if he wanted to start recording until Quinn had her memories back. She'd always believed in him. "Rach, it's fine, really."
Rachel added the noodles to the boiling water. As she grabbed out some oil and added it, she turned it down. Getting out something to stir them with, she turned to face him. "Drink your beer, Noah. Just tell me. How do you feel?" She asked. Rachel wasn't giving up until she got him to talk. She knew this was hard on him. Rachel was not going to give up. This was a hard thing. It was the worst thing any of them had gone through. Rachel couldn't imagine if she'd be as strong as Puck was. She was sure that she'd be a wreck if Finn didn't remember her or their three children. Rachel had never had a boyfriend before Finn. She wondered if that was a bad thing sometimes. But she loved him. In high school, she'd been too focused on getting into a good drama school to have a lot of friends. She'd had one good friend, but other than that, she'd been focused. It made her treasure the friends she did have. Rachel kept her eyes on him.
Boy, she was annoying. Puck very much wanted to keep quiet now. "Please, Rachel. Just drop it, okay?" It was just then that his wife and Santana came into the apartment. Puck sighed. He wondered where Brittany was, for one, and there went his working on any of his music. Puck didn't want Quinn to hear anything he was working on in her current state. She didn't get how monumental it was that he was going to do his own record. Because she still didn't know who she was. "Why are you guys back so early?" He had thought that they'd be gone all day. He'd been counting on it, so he could get some work done. If Quinn was going to be home, that would put a damper on that plan. Puck watched her face as she and Santana took off their coats. It was still pretty cold out. Puck wondered why they'd come back.
Both girls were silent at first. Quinn didn't want to tell Puck it was because being with Santana and Brittany had made her a little uncomfortable. Not because of them being married with children, she still didn't know either of them that well. Quinn watched Rachel, who was bustling around the kitchen, and wrinkled her nose. The other girl made her pretty uncomfortable. Quinn didn't like coming home and seeing her. Running her hand through her long blonde hair, she looked at Puck. "It was just time to come home. I was a bit tired and I had a headache." She told him, it was true. It just wasn't the whole truth. She was tired of disappointing him every time she turned around. She couldn't be what he wanted. Quinn didn't know if she'd ever be what he wanted. She might never get her memories back. Puck wasn't at all interested in even talking about that notion. That was very concerning for her. Quinn didn't know how to get him to accept that possibility. It was something they had to discuss.
Puck was unpacking the few bags Santana had put on the counter. That's when he came across the pregnancy test. His heart stopped. There was a pregnancy test? Was this Quinn's? Puck hoped not, they hadn't slept together since before the accident. "Quinn, is this yours? Something you need to tell me?" He asked, as he held it up. "We haven't slept together lately."
Quinn's eyes fluttered closed. Quinn was thinking of her night with Jesse a couple of weeks ago. Her period had been late, and that was why she had bought it. Quinn had told herself that it wasn't cheating because she didn't remember being married to Puck. She knew he didn't see it the same way. She knew sleeping with Jesse had been a bad idea. They'd been safe, and she was on birth control, but she'd gone without a couple of days. It wasn't a big possibility, but she'd always been very regular. So it wasn't looking good. Quinn wished Santana would speak up and say it was hers. She really doubted that she would. Not to mention, she was a lesbian and Puck had fathered her children. "Um, it's mine." She finally ventured. Quinn waited for the other shoe to drop. She wasn't sure what he would say.
Puck's heart fell all the way to his feet. What the hell? There was no way this baby was his, if there was one. His heart pounded hard. He looked at the box, at the EPT. He grabbed Quinn's arm and dragged her from the kitchen, and they went into the bedroom. Quinn was about to protest when Puck let go of her, and brandished the test. "What the hell? I know it wouldn't be mine, they would have told me when you were in the hospital. So what the hell, Quinn? I don't know if you are considering my feelings in any of this, but I matter. We have a life together. We talked about having kids of course, but we had decided to wait a year or so more. So explain this to me. I know that you don't remember much, but have you even thought about how this is affecting me?" He asked, tears gathering in his eyes. "I have loved you for ten years. And we don't have fights like this. We get along. You haven't even been trying, Quinn! What the fuck? You're not single. You're married! Whether you feel like it or not!"
Watching his face, Quinn did feel bad for what she had done. She didn't even really know how it had happened. Quinn had still been so angry at Jesse for the way they'd broken up. She had gone to his apartment though, and they'd talked. Quinn had not expected to get into bed with him.
Two weeks ago:
Quinn stood outside of Jesse's apartment door, wondering why she was even here. She had been very angry at him since she had found out about the breakup. But she hadn't been able to stay away. She wanted to talk. Quinn didn't remember the breakup. Whether or not she had been angry was moot. Quinn wanted to find some way to work things out with Jesse. He was where her heart was lying right now. Puck should be at the front of her brain, she should be trying to work things out with him. That wasn't happening. Quinn didn't remember being married to him. Finally gathering up all her strength, she knocked on the door. What was going to happen? More yelling? Quinn couldn't handle more yelling. They had to get along. All she'd been doing was arguing.
Jesse opened the door. Quinn was here. Jesse wasn't so sure that this was a good idea. He was messing with a marriage now. Jesse didn't have any qualms about what he was. He was definitely a player. He'd cheated on Quinn a lot when they were together. He knew it was wrong. She'd never known only because he had been really smart about it. It had always been a girl from another school. This was different. Quinn had a husband. A life. She was a designer. Jesse didn't want to ruin her life. If they started an affair, it might do just that. At least he was thinking about this. At least he was trying to consider what might happen. "Hello, Quinn." He said. He stepped back to let her in. Once she had stepped in he closed the door. "What is this about?" He asked. "You were so secretive on the phone."
Now came the hard part. Quinn took a deep breath. What was she going to say? How was she going to get across the words she wanted to say? Letting herself pause a minute, Quinn finally said, "I came to talk to you about…. about maybe rekindling our relationship." She said. Her stomach was full of butterflies. It was telling her that this was a bad idea. She knew she should listen. She just couldn't make herself right now. She lifted her eyes to his. "Jesse, I know that we broke up under bad terms. You told me. I just…. I don't know about any of that, and you are all I can think about right now." She told him. Her heart was pounding to beat the band. It was amazing, really, how much she was willing to throw away to be with a man she had supposedly had a terrible breakup with. Quinn knew that she should feel bad for hurting Puck. "I know I'm with Noah now, but I don't remember him. You… you are all I can think about."
She really wasn't making things any easier. Jesse ran his hand through his curly hair. He didn't know what the best course was. He hated to end up having an altercation with Puck. He had only met the man once or twice, but it was enough to know he didn't want to come across him angry. Jesse was quite certain that he would lose in a battle of fists if that's what it came to. Jesse didn't want to get into a fight. Jesse didn't mind at all being a player, but he refused to get beat up. That was always his goal, to not get beat up. He managed to keep all his limbs to himself. That would be disastrous, to touch her in any way right now. He would want to have his way with her. Jesse must avoid that at all costs. It would be harder than he thought. Quinn really was beautiful. She was hard to say no to. "You are married now, Quinn." He said pointedly.
"I know." Came back Quinn's reply. She glanced down at the ring on her finger. She couldn't believe she hadn't taken it off her finger. She should have. Now it was like Noah was in the room with them right now. He was bigger than life right now. Her ring was so beautiful, too. She took it off, her heart pounding and her stomach ringing with guilt. Quinn was about to be one of those girls. She could not believe it. She turned the ring around in her hand, watching it sparkle. She put it carefully in a zippered part of her purse. She didn't want to lose it. That wouldn't turn out good. She looked at her bare finger. It felt very strange. She didn't even remember Noah, but she felt like she was letting him down. Not enough to not go through with it, though. With whatever was going to happen. Not that anything was. Quinn just knew that life was going to be strangely different. It was going to be so hard to deal with all of this. " Jesse, I want to be with you. More than anything. We didn't get married. I know that. I just, I don't care about any of what I have going on right now. I only care about you. I'm not….. I am not the woman that was married to Noah anymore. I may never be that girl again. I just know that I want you." Quinn told him, and reached out, touching his arm. Since when was life so hard? She hated all of this. Quinn could not believe that any of this was her life. She knew what Noah wanted her to do. Quinn just couldn't bring herself to do it.
When Quinn touched his arm, Jesse knew it was over. Jesse was only human, after all. He slipped his arms easily around her waist. He held her close. His lips touched hers, and that was it. That was when he knew they would do the deed. He knew that he would sleep with her, which was something that they had never done before. Jesse also found kind of a perverse pleasure out of knowing that he'd have slept with Puck's wife. Now, he scooped her up in his arms like Scarlett and Rhett and off to his bedroom.
Back to present day
The box being darted around while Puck was talking brought Quinn's attention back to the matter at hand. "Noah, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to hurt you. I…" She stopped, not sure what to say next. She knew that other than her not having her memories, she didn't really have a leg to stand on. What she had done was wrong. Quinn felt so guilty. She really did. She had enough of a conscience to feel guilty. "I just, I don't remember any of our life together! I know that you want me to, but I don't. What if I'm never that girl that you married? What if I never get my memory back? I know that you don't want to even consider that possibility, but that could be the reality that we end up stuck with." She said, as tears came to Puck's eyes. He was shaking his head vehemently. Quinn's own eyes brushed with tears. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm feeling. I…. my feelings for Jesse are back. You….. are going to have to deal with the reality."
As she was talking, Puck's heart was falling more and more. He didn't want to deal with any of this. He hated this. None of it was what he had signed up for. Puck loved Quinn. More than anything in this world. She wasn't even trying. Frustrated, Puck threw the box at the bed. He didn't even care that Rachel and Santana were out there. All he cared about was Quinn right now. "Fuck!" He yelled, and kicked the bed, and then cursed again. He'd been barefoot. Puck lifted his sad whiskey colored eyes to her. "I…. you don't even care what you're doing to me! All you care about is what you want! I can't…. I love you. No one knows me like you do. You don't talk to your family, because you have the worst family in the world besides mine. You enjoy coming up with the designs. When you're working in the studio, you always kick me out if I bother you. You listen to your music really loud, you dance around the kitchen when you finish a line, you can't drink a lot of margaritas because you turn into a very angry drunk. You always said that if you had kids you'd make sure to raise them differently than your mother raised you and Frannie." His voice caught. Tears brushed his eyes.
"And, when my father died, you took me by the hand, and you told me that no matter what kind of man he was, because I would never be the man he was. That I was never going to be the kind of father he was. That his passing was tragic, but I could learn from it somehow." Puck wiped his eyes. His ma had passed, too, and he had taken that hard too. Puck didn't have anything but Quinn. His sister had gone on and done whatever the hell she wanted. Puck didn't even know for sure where she was. His only family left was telling him that she had slept with another man. That she might be carrying his child. It wasn't right. How could she do this and not even care what she had done to him? Puck was so hurt right now. "Seriously, Quinn. In ten years, we've hardly fought. We never had to. We don't speak to each other this way!" Puck cried, tears filling his eyes. Letting out a deep breath, he folded his arms. "Get the fuck out. I have to think about this."
When he told her to get out, Quinn's heart just about stopped. She didn't want to leave. She may have done this horribly awful thing, but she didn't want to leave. She felt at home here. Even if she didn't remember being at home here. She ran her hands through her long blonde hair. It was definitely something that was hurting her. Quinn thought maybe she deserved what had happened to her from now on. It was her bad karma. Quinn took a deep shaky breath. "I'm sorry, Noah, please don't do this." She said, reaching out to touch his shoulder. He jerked violently away. Her breath caught. "Oh, please, please don't do this. I can change, be better."
"You call me Puck!" He roared. It was so loud, the girls in the kitchen stopped what they were doing. His eyes were still full of tears. Puck could not do this anymore. He hated not having his wife. It was the worst thing he'd ever been through. His patience was waning. He didn't know for sure if he could handle this. He had thought that he could. Now he wasn't so sure. Puck was starting to think that maybe he was going to have to let her muddle through on her own. He was completely fed up right now. Puck was being the best husband he knew how to be and it was completely worthless. He was sure that Quinn wasn't even going to care right now. She was busy having sex with Jesse St. James. Puck had to have her leave right now. He was going to explode with anger if she didn't leave. "Please. Get the fuck out. I can't do this. You're supposed to be trying to get your memories back and remember your life with me! You aren't doing either of those things! All you're doing is thinking about Jesse St. James, iming him, and not trying to get to me and your friends all over again! Get out! I can't do this! I need time to decide whether I can handle this. I'm not sure I can anymore."
Sniffling, Quinn nodded. "Okay." She said, and grabbed some of her clothes and a bag. "I'll come back for the rest of my stuff." She told him. All he did was nod. Quinn fought back tears as she left the bedroom. Rachel and Santana were both quiet as she walked by with her bag. Quinn was hurting, but she was not surprised. She had pushed Puck to the limit. Quinn felt bad for what she had done, even if she would probably do it again all the same. She left the apartment, and as the door slammed shut behind her, she felt like a door had slammed shut in her life. That it was never going to open it again. Quinn took a very deep breath, and worked on not having a panic attack. She was going to have to go and stay with her parents. Quinn wasn't looking forward to that. Quinn may not remember being out of her parents' lives, but it didn't matter, because she had hated them in high school. Quinn had especially not gotten along with her father. He was a big fat cheater. Quinn didn't have any respect for him anymore. But they were her parents. They had to take her in if she showed up.
After Quinn had left, Puck went into the kitchen. Rachel had just put the casserole in the oven. Puck looked at her and Santana. "Would you guys please leave? I just need some time alone." He said, and ignored the looks they gave him. "Please. Just go." Puck added, before either one of them said anything else. Puck didn't care what either of them had to say. Puck just needed time alone. Not to mention, he had to decide what he was going to do to St. James. He couldn't let the man think it was okay to sleep with his wife. Because it wasn't. He was going to have to go and kick that guy's ass. Puck sat down at the kitchen island, and got out a beer. He opened it, and took a sip. At least there was something good about Rachel coming over, there was going to be food. Puck was starving.
The next morning, Puck awoke hung over, and starving. He had attacked the tuna casserole the night before when he was drunk, and it was all gone. Needless to say, it didn't taste as well coming back up. Puck got some aspirin, and then took a look in the kitchen, to see what there was to eat. There was stuff for eggs and bacon and waffles, so he got to cooking. Puck was very upset, and he didn't know how they were going to get through this. Puck had been through so much with Quinn. They had been together for ten long years. And now with all of this it was about to be undone. It was the worst thing that could have happened. Puck hated it. It was awful. He didn't know what he wanted to do about this. Puck loved Quinn so much. Not to mention, he didn't know whether to be mad or forgive her. She didn't remember him. In her mind, it wasn't cheating. Puck didn't know if he could blame her. He just, he couldn't let it go right now. Puck just couldn't believe that she had done this, when she knew that she was married. They had told her. Showed her the proof. She just hadn't been trying to get to know him again. Puck was so pissed. Everything he had said to her in the argument he had meant. Puck had wanted her to hear everything he had said. Puck was hoping that she thought about it. He wanted her to consider it all before they talked anymore about their relationship. Puck knew that she probably wouldn't, but he wanted her to. He wanted her to think about her decisions. He didn't want to lose her. He had a sneaking suspicion he was about to.
While he was cooking, there was a knock on the door. Puck was surprised. It was eight in the morning. He had to actually hurry up for work. Puck didn't want to be late. Lopez would have a cow. He was trying to avoid making her angry. She had forgone the talk about changing anything at work, and he didn't want to get to her to do it again. But actually, since he was fighting with Quinn, he was sure he could have some more time for work. Puck really cared about his business, though, and he didn't want to go through with losing it. He opened the door. It was Santana. "Yo, Lopez." He said, and stepped back to let her in.
Santana waltzed into the apartment as he shut the door. "Hi, Puckerman." She said, as he went to start cooking again. He wondered what she had to say. "How're you holding up?" She asked, tossing her long black hair over her shoulder. Her wedding ring caught the light, and Puck's heart fell a little. But he kept the look of sorrow off his face as best he could. Santana sat down at the kitchen island. "Talk, Puckerman. I'm not Rachel." She certainly did know him well.
As he stirred the eggs, Puck thought about how best to answer. He was not alright by any means. Santana was probably the only one he could really talk to about any of it. Santana was someone he could trust. He let out a deep sigh. "It was the worst, Lopez." He finally said, his shoulders sagging. "She slept with St. James." His voice sounded defeated. "I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her. I'm afraid I will." Puck turned so he could see her. "I don't know if I can forgive her so easily."
"You don't have to if you don't want to." Santana replied, shrugging. She wondered how she would feel if it had been Britts. She loved Brittany with all her heart. They had different rules about cheating. Not that they really ever had, but Santana got where Puck was coming from. She probably would have been upset too. Brittany was her whole world. Besides their kids. She watched as Puck finished up his cooking and joined her at the table. She got out a coffee cup and poured some out of the coffee maker. "But if you want her back, you have to try and work it out." She knew that Puck would want to work it out. She knew how much he loved Quinn. It was cute. Well, it was serious right now, but normally, it was cute. She started mixing up cream and sugar in her coffee. "Do you want to work it out?"
"Of course I do. What are you talking about?" Puck asked. He wondered what she'd been smoking. If he hadn't sold the pot to her anyway. He already knew. "Of course. I just, I don't know if I want to make it easy. Or if I should forgive her, you know? I probably should divorce her. I just, I don't want to. I still love her. I don't want to lose her. Just, we've been together for so long. How could she forget me? How? I love her so much. I was a complete player before I met her. And she made me want to be better. So I was better. I don't know how she did it. All I wanted to do was fuck, sleep, eat, and work on my music. But something about her got me to behave. I can't, I don't want to lose her."
That was what Santana had expected him to say. "Okay. Well. We will just figure something out. I'll help you." Then it was time to bring up the work situation again. Now was a better time, especially since there wasn't much he could do about Quinn at the moment. "So, Puckerman…" She said, looking at him. "About the work situation. I know you're still dealing with Quinn. But since you're kind of at a stalemate, I thought that I might bring it up. It's a real situation." She said, sipping her coffee cup. She wasn't sure what else to say to get him to see that work was important, too. She shouldn't have to, it was his label. She sipped her coffee mug again. She watched his face. He was trying to fight his anger. She supposed she didn't blame him. It was true he didn't need this right now. She just had to get him to do his job.
Forking up some eggs, Puck chewed while he concentrated on what he would say that didn't sound like he was jumping all over her. Puck didn't want to fight. "I just, I know you're trying." Puck finally ventured, when his mouth was free of food. "And I know it's my label. I do. I don't want to lose it. I was planning on being there. Really there." Puck said, trying to give her hope. He didn't really have the concentration for work, but he had to try if he didn't want his label to die. He didn't. Puck loved his label too much. He loved music in general. "I wonder where she's chosen to stay while we're working things out." He said, musing out loud. He didn't really expect Santana to answer, so he was surprised when she did.
"She's at her parents'." She replied, shrugging. "She doesn't get why that's a bad thing. I was surprised. She called this asked me to let you know. I told her that I'd tell you. Of course, it's just her mom now, since Russell cheated on Judy and Frannie's old enough to have her own place. I was honestly surprised because I know that she wasn't that fond of them in high school. So it didn't make sense why she went there. I figured she'd go to St. James' place."
That was definitely all true. Puck ate some more breakfast. He was ready for all this to be over. It was such a mess. "Yeah. I'm surprised, too, actually. She always hated her family. She's the only person with a family worse than mine." Puck hadn't thought it was possible. It was part of the reason that he had been drawn to Quinn in the first place. It meant that she understood what he had gone through with his. And now it's all gone to hell. He didn't know what to do. The first thing he was going to take care of St. James. Teach him a lesson about sleeping with other guys' wives. He finished up his breakfast. As he got up to put his dishes in the dishwasher, he said, "I'm going to be a little late for work. Going to punch out St. James."
Santana gave him a sharp look. "You really have to do that before work?" She asked, folding her arms and arching her eyebrows. She wasn't sure why he felt he had to take care of that right this very minute.
"Yes, I really do. If you want me to be able to concentrate on work today, then yes." Puck replied, as he finished his coffee. "Go on, and I'll be there shortly." He was going to make sure that Jesse knew he couldn't sleep with someone's wife. It wasn't right. He was going to make sure he never did it again. There was only one way to do that. Puck went to get dressed as Santana left. He took a quick shower, to help with the hangover. He got dressed in jeans and a Nickelback tee shirt, and grabbed the keys to his car and a heavy coat. It would be spring shortly though, and he hoped it would start being warm. He had a motorcycle. He liked to ride it. It was nice, it was a Harley. He'd bought it wrecked and fixed it up. The streets still weren't bad, so he got in his car and went to Jesse's office. He hadn't made it big in the show business just yet, so he was working as a janitor in a law office building. Jesse had gone to college. Higher education wasn't his thing. Puck couldn't believe what Quinn saw in him. He was talented, sure, but he wasn't all that. Puck didn't even think he was that bright.
The building was pretty bustling. Puck didn't know what he was going to do first. He had to get him out of the open. Maybe Jesse wouldn't object to being led out of the open. He spotted him almost instantly. Puck went over to him. "St. James." He growled, low in his throat. He waited for the other man to bolt, or immediately start apologizing. He wouldn't be that surprised if either one happened.
Straightening, Jesse froze. It was Puckerman. He couldn't believe that he was here. He guessed maybe he shouldn't be. He guessed that since it had been a couple of weeks, maybe he wasn't coming. He guessed that had been wishful thinking. He ran his hand through his curly hair. He had to spend a lot of time and energy on it to keep it nice. He was going to make it big any day now. "I'm sorry, I really am." He said. He braced himself for what he knew was coming. He was sure that yelling or punching was coming. It was a question of what was coming up first.
All kinds of feelings boiled up in Puck. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do first. Punch him, or start yelling. Both sounded like a good idea. Finally, he reared back and punched Jesse in the face. Good thing the corridor was empty. Jesse fell against the wall. Puck had to admit, that felt really good. He punched Jesse in the stomach, too. That caused Jesse to double over, and slid down the wall to sit on the floor. Puck felt even better. "What made you think you could sleep with a married woman with amnesia?!" He cried. His voice was deep with anger. He didn't doubt that Jesse was going to give him some kind of flimsy excuse. "She's not completely blameless, but I can forgive her, she has amnesia. In her mind, she's not married. You know she is, and you could have said no!" Puck snapped.
Those were all valid points, Jesse thought. Holding his stomach and breathing quickly, Jesse replied, "I'm sorry. I tried to resist her. Not very hard, maybe. But I did. Quinn wanted me, and you know how hard it is to say no to her. I had to give in." He thought that reply might get him punched again. It wasn't a good excuse, that was true. But it was what happened. And Puck was married to Quinn, he got how determined she was. Not that he thought that would save him. He knew it wouldn't.
Rolling his eyes, Puck slammed his hand on the wall. Jesse shook, even though it was nowhere near him. Puck knelt next to him, so he could be eye level with him. "Look. I know that you aren't the sharpest pencil in the box, but really? Did you really think that was going to work? I know how Quinn is, but really, that doesn't matter. She is always determined, but you could have had some self-control." Puck snapped. He was close to punching the guy again, he was so angry. Then Jesse's attention was focused on something else, and he turned around to see. It was Quinn. Oh, great. Puck looked at her face. She looked really nervous. Puck stared at her a minute, and then it dawned on him. "You're pregnant, aren't you?" He asked, his tone indignant and disgusted at the same time. This could not be happening. Not after they had decided to wait until after their careers were doing great so they could take care of it properly. He could not believe this. This was the worst.
When Puck asked her that question, at first Quinn wanted to lie. She didn't want to hurt him. And she knew the real answer would hurt him. She twisted the bottom of her shirt in her hands. She finally answered, her voice quiet. "Yes. About two weeks. It's Jesse's." She braced herself for the yelling that was to come. She didn't blame him for being upset, though. She was his wife. She was pregnant with her ex-fiancé's child. It was not an ideal situation.
"Oh that's just fucking fantastic!" Puck snapped. Jesse looked downright terrified. Puck wanted to punch the douchebag, or scream and cry, something. For starters, he had to get out of there. Pronto. Puck kicked the wall with his sneaker. "I'm fucking out of here. You have a nice life, Quinn, because if you're going to have that guy's baby, then I can't be with you. I could have forgiven the amnesia causing you to sleep with this tool, but getting pregnant, that's the last straw." Puck stormed off. That was it. He couldn't do this anymore. He had limits. This was one of them.
Author's note: Hope ya'll are liking this so far! It's going to get even more angsty, just a warning. But it will end up happy, I swear. XD. Review if you want!
Pairings/Characters: Puck/Quinn, Quinn/Jesse, Santana, Rachel
Words: 6,973
Spoilers: none, but big ones for The Vow.
Rating: T
Summary: Quinn still doesn't remember anything. Can they work past it?
Chapter Three: Til We Ain't Strangers Anymore
The next couple of weeks were really tense. Puck didn't have much to say to Quinn. He was the most mad at her he had ever been. And he really couldn't be too angry at her, it wasn't her fault that she couldn't remember. That was the frustrating part. That he had to keep reminding himself of that. At the moment, he was writing some music in the bedroom. Quinn was out with Santana and Brittany. Doing what. He had no idea. He was letting some of his pain and confusion come out into his music. They hadn't really talked in a few days, actually. He missed her. Missed her so much. She was there, but not there. It was incredibly frustrating. Puck still felt like he was tiptoeing around in his own home. He didn't want to do it anymore. He played with the strings, trying to get a tune for the words he'd written. That's how he actually liked to do things. He usually stumbled into great music that way. His voice, deep and husky, began to sing the words he'd written, his pain coming out.
I've been loving her all this time,
and she doesn't even remember
how can she forget when we met in
the month of September? My heart aches
to hold her she won't let me in
Out vows said till death in sickness and in health
It seems like I can't win
She's been mine for ten years now
I could lose her in a blink of an eye
I want to keep her and I can't think of how
I've been looking to the sky, asking God
to help me out since when does he not
answer your prayers?
That was all he had so far. Tears had brushed his cheeks. He brushed them away. He didn't put away his guitar just yet. He was strumming still. He was mostly playing nothing, just making the guitar make noise. He was glad he was alone. He didn't know what he would even say to anyone right now. That's when the apartment door sounded with a knock. Puck was exasperated. He was in boxer briefs and that's it. He hollered to hold on and grabbed up a pair of jeans. He pulled them on and did them up. He didn't bother with a shirt. He looked amazing without one, anyway. Then he hurried to the door. When he opened it up, it revealed Rachel Hudson. "Hey, Berry." He said, stepping back for her.
Rachel and Puck got along great. They were like brother and sister. He closed the door behind her. She looked up at him. "How are you, Noah?" She asked. "I've really been worried about you, I know this is hard on you." She said, as she followed him to the kitchen. He got her out a water. "You can talk to me if you need to, you know." She told him. Rachel cared about Puck a lot. She wanted to help him as best she could. He hadn't been talking much and she wanted him to spill his guts if he needed to. Finn hadn't been being the best friend he could be, and Rachel wanted to make sure he got things off his chest. He had to have a good outlet.
That had actually not surprised him. Puck was always having to deal with Rachel offering to talk to him about things. He liked it. It gave him a chance to get things off his chest. Right now, he wasn't sure what to say to her. He wasn't good at opening up when it wasn't Quinn. She was his rock. Not as she was now, of course. When she actually knew who she was. Puck didn't know if he wanted to let Rachel in like that. She was great, but Puck just wasn't sure. "Rachel, you're great, but I'm just not sure I want to talk."
Making a sympathetic noise, the little Jewish girl got into his pantry to start cooking. She wasn't going to take no for an answer. She was going to make sure he ate and talked. She got out noodles and tuna. She wanted to fix tuna casserole. She grabbed some cream of mushroom soup and some cheese, too. Then she set about getting a pot for the water. As she filled it up, she said, "You can tell me, Noah. I know you don't talk much, but you can tell me, okay? I want to make sure you talk about things. You can't hold everything in. It's bad and it can cause you harm." Rachel informed him.
Sighing, Puck watched her. She was moving about the kitchen, quick and assured. Puck didn't like this. She was not supposed to be the one doing this. But then again, if Quinn was herself, they wouldn't even be here in this situation. Sitting down at the kitchen island, running his hand over his shaved head, he sighed. He still wasn't ready to talk. "Rachel, again, I appreciate it, but I don't want to talk." It was bad enough that he probably still had a bit of his eyes being red rimmed going on. He just hoped she hadn't heard any of his music when she'd arrived. He'd never hear the end of it. Not to mention no one had ever heard his stuff, outside of Santana and Quinn.
Ignoring his protest, Rachel got him out a beer and put it in front of him. She even pulled the top off the bottle. Then she started opening up the cans of tuna. She replied, "Talk to me, Noah. I know Finn's being a crap friend and not letting you open up." She told him.
That was so far from any of Puck's concern. They had gone to college with Finn and Rachel. Puck had been close with Finn then. They of course were still friends, but Puck hadn't confided in him as often. They had grown a little apart, especially since Puck's label had gotten off the ground. He'd been busy. Especially since he was supposed to be working on stuff for his own album. Puck didn't know when it would be ready, but it was going to have anything he'd written with his feelings about Quinn and her amnesia. Puck didn't know if he wanted to start recording until Quinn had her memories back. She'd always believed in him. "Rach, it's fine, really."
Rachel added the noodles to the boiling water. As she grabbed out some oil and added it, she turned it down. Getting out something to stir them with, she turned to face him. "Drink your beer, Noah. Just tell me. How do you feel?" She asked. Rachel wasn't giving up until she got him to talk. She knew this was hard on him. Rachel was not going to give up. This was a hard thing. It was the worst thing any of them had gone through. Rachel couldn't imagine if she'd be as strong as Puck was. She was sure that she'd be a wreck if Finn didn't remember her or their three children. Rachel had never had a boyfriend before Finn. She wondered if that was a bad thing sometimes. But she loved him. In high school, she'd been too focused on getting into a good drama school to have a lot of friends. She'd had one good friend, but other than that, she'd been focused. It made her treasure the friends she did have. Rachel kept her eyes on him.
Boy, she was annoying. Puck very much wanted to keep quiet now. "Please, Rachel. Just drop it, okay?" It was just then that his wife and Santana came into the apartment. Puck sighed. He wondered where Brittany was, for one, and there went his working on any of his music. Puck didn't want Quinn to hear anything he was working on in her current state. She didn't get how monumental it was that he was going to do his own record. Because she still didn't know who she was. "Why are you guys back so early?" He had thought that they'd be gone all day. He'd been counting on it, so he could get some work done. If Quinn was going to be home, that would put a damper on that plan. Puck watched her face as she and Santana took off their coats. It was still pretty cold out. Puck wondered why they'd come back.
Both girls were silent at first. Quinn didn't want to tell Puck it was because being with Santana and Brittany had made her a little uncomfortable. Not because of them being married with children, she still didn't know either of them that well. Quinn watched Rachel, who was bustling around the kitchen, and wrinkled her nose. The other girl made her pretty uncomfortable. Quinn didn't like coming home and seeing her. Running her hand through her long blonde hair, she looked at Puck. "It was just time to come home. I was a bit tired and I had a headache." She told him, it was true. It just wasn't the whole truth. She was tired of disappointing him every time she turned around. She couldn't be what he wanted. Quinn didn't know if she'd ever be what he wanted. She might never get her memories back. Puck wasn't at all interested in even talking about that notion. That was very concerning for her. Quinn didn't know how to get him to accept that possibility. It was something they had to discuss.
Puck was unpacking the few bags Santana had put on the counter. That's when he came across the pregnancy test. His heart stopped. There was a pregnancy test? Was this Quinn's? Puck hoped not, they hadn't slept together since before the accident. "Quinn, is this yours? Something you need to tell me?" He asked, as he held it up. "We haven't slept together lately."
Quinn's eyes fluttered closed. Quinn was thinking of her night with Jesse a couple of weeks ago. Her period had been late, and that was why she had bought it. Quinn had told herself that it wasn't cheating because she didn't remember being married to Puck. She knew he didn't see it the same way. She knew sleeping with Jesse had been a bad idea. They'd been safe, and she was on birth control, but she'd gone without a couple of days. It wasn't a big possibility, but she'd always been very regular. So it wasn't looking good. Quinn wished Santana would speak up and say it was hers. She really doubted that she would. Not to mention, she was a lesbian and Puck had fathered her children. "Um, it's mine." She finally ventured. Quinn waited for the other shoe to drop. She wasn't sure what he would say.
Puck's heart fell all the way to his feet. What the hell? There was no way this baby was his, if there was one. His heart pounded hard. He looked at the box, at the EPT. He grabbed Quinn's arm and dragged her from the kitchen, and they went into the bedroom. Quinn was about to protest when Puck let go of her, and brandished the test. "What the hell? I know it wouldn't be mine, they would have told me when you were in the hospital. So what the hell, Quinn? I don't know if you are considering my feelings in any of this, but I matter. We have a life together. We talked about having kids of course, but we had decided to wait a year or so more. So explain this to me. I know that you don't remember much, but have you even thought about how this is affecting me?" He asked, tears gathering in his eyes. "I have loved you for ten years. And we don't have fights like this. We get along. You haven't even been trying, Quinn! What the fuck? You're not single. You're married! Whether you feel like it or not!"
Watching his face, Quinn did feel bad for what she had done. She didn't even really know how it had happened. Quinn had still been so angry at Jesse for the way they'd broken up. She had gone to his apartment though, and they'd talked. Quinn had not expected to get into bed with him.
Two weeks ago:
Quinn stood outside of Jesse's apartment door, wondering why she was even here. She had been very angry at him since she had found out about the breakup. But she hadn't been able to stay away. She wanted to talk. Quinn didn't remember the breakup. Whether or not she had been angry was moot. Quinn wanted to find some way to work things out with Jesse. He was where her heart was lying right now. Puck should be at the front of her brain, she should be trying to work things out with him. That wasn't happening. Quinn didn't remember being married to him. Finally gathering up all her strength, she knocked on the door. What was going to happen? More yelling? Quinn couldn't handle more yelling. They had to get along. All she'd been doing was arguing.
Jesse opened the door. Quinn was here. Jesse wasn't so sure that this was a good idea. He was messing with a marriage now. Jesse didn't have any qualms about what he was. He was definitely a player. He'd cheated on Quinn a lot when they were together. He knew it was wrong. She'd never known only because he had been really smart about it. It had always been a girl from another school. This was different. Quinn had a husband. A life. She was a designer. Jesse didn't want to ruin her life. If they started an affair, it might do just that. At least he was thinking about this. At least he was trying to consider what might happen. "Hello, Quinn." He said. He stepped back to let her in. Once she had stepped in he closed the door. "What is this about?" He asked. "You were so secretive on the phone."
Now came the hard part. Quinn took a deep breath. What was she going to say? How was she going to get across the words she wanted to say? Letting herself pause a minute, Quinn finally said, "I came to talk to you about…. about maybe rekindling our relationship." She said. Her stomach was full of butterflies. It was telling her that this was a bad idea. She knew she should listen. She just couldn't make herself right now. She lifted her eyes to his. "Jesse, I know that we broke up under bad terms. You told me. I just…. I don't know about any of that, and you are all I can think about right now." She told him. Her heart was pounding to beat the band. It was amazing, really, how much she was willing to throw away to be with a man she had supposedly had a terrible breakup with. Quinn knew that she should feel bad for hurting Puck. "I know I'm with Noah now, but I don't remember him. You… you are all I can think about."
She really wasn't making things any easier. Jesse ran his hand through his curly hair. He didn't know what the best course was. He hated to end up having an altercation with Puck. He had only met the man once or twice, but it was enough to know he didn't want to come across him angry. Jesse was quite certain that he would lose in a battle of fists if that's what it came to. Jesse didn't want to get into a fight. Jesse didn't mind at all being a player, but he refused to get beat up. That was always his goal, to not get beat up. He managed to keep all his limbs to himself. That would be disastrous, to touch her in any way right now. He would want to have his way with her. Jesse must avoid that at all costs. It would be harder than he thought. Quinn really was beautiful. She was hard to say no to. "You are married now, Quinn." He said pointedly.
"I know." Came back Quinn's reply. She glanced down at the ring on her finger. She couldn't believe she hadn't taken it off her finger. She should have. Now it was like Noah was in the room with them right now. He was bigger than life right now. Her ring was so beautiful, too. She took it off, her heart pounding and her stomach ringing with guilt. Quinn was about to be one of those girls. She could not believe it. She turned the ring around in her hand, watching it sparkle. She put it carefully in a zippered part of her purse. She didn't want to lose it. That wouldn't turn out good. She looked at her bare finger. It felt very strange. She didn't even remember Noah, but she felt like she was letting him down. Not enough to not go through with it, though. With whatever was going to happen. Not that anything was. Quinn just knew that life was going to be strangely different. It was going to be so hard to deal with all of this. " Jesse, I want to be with you. More than anything. We didn't get married. I know that. I just, I don't care about any of what I have going on right now. I only care about you. I'm not….. I am not the woman that was married to Noah anymore. I may never be that girl again. I just know that I want you." Quinn told him, and reached out, touching his arm. Since when was life so hard? She hated all of this. Quinn could not believe that any of this was her life. She knew what Noah wanted her to do. Quinn just couldn't bring herself to do it.
When Quinn touched his arm, Jesse knew it was over. Jesse was only human, after all. He slipped his arms easily around her waist. He held her close. His lips touched hers, and that was it. That was when he knew they would do the deed. He knew that he would sleep with her, which was something that they had never done before. Jesse also found kind of a perverse pleasure out of knowing that he'd have slept with Puck's wife. Now, he scooped her up in his arms like Scarlett and Rhett and off to his bedroom.
Back to present day
The box being darted around while Puck was talking brought Quinn's attention back to the matter at hand. "Noah, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to hurt you. I…" She stopped, not sure what to say next. She knew that other than her not having her memories, she didn't really have a leg to stand on. What she had done was wrong. Quinn felt so guilty. She really did. She had enough of a conscience to feel guilty. "I just, I don't remember any of our life together! I know that you want me to, but I don't. What if I'm never that girl that you married? What if I never get my memory back? I know that you don't want to even consider that possibility, but that could be the reality that we end up stuck with." She said, as tears came to Puck's eyes. He was shaking his head vehemently. Quinn's own eyes brushed with tears. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm feeling. I…. my feelings for Jesse are back. You….. are going to have to deal with the reality."
As she was talking, Puck's heart was falling more and more. He didn't want to deal with any of this. He hated this. None of it was what he had signed up for. Puck loved Quinn. More than anything in this world. She wasn't even trying. Frustrated, Puck threw the box at the bed. He didn't even care that Rachel and Santana were out there. All he cared about was Quinn right now. "Fuck!" He yelled, and kicked the bed, and then cursed again. He'd been barefoot. Puck lifted his sad whiskey colored eyes to her. "I…. you don't even care what you're doing to me! All you care about is what you want! I can't…. I love you. No one knows me like you do. You don't talk to your family, because you have the worst family in the world besides mine. You enjoy coming up with the designs. When you're working in the studio, you always kick me out if I bother you. You listen to your music really loud, you dance around the kitchen when you finish a line, you can't drink a lot of margaritas because you turn into a very angry drunk. You always said that if you had kids you'd make sure to raise them differently than your mother raised you and Frannie." His voice caught. Tears brushed his eyes.
"And, when my father died, you took me by the hand, and you told me that no matter what kind of man he was, because I would never be the man he was. That I was never going to be the kind of father he was. That his passing was tragic, but I could learn from it somehow." Puck wiped his eyes. His ma had passed, too, and he had taken that hard too. Puck didn't have anything but Quinn. His sister had gone on and done whatever the hell she wanted. Puck didn't even know for sure where she was. His only family left was telling him that she had slept with another man. That she might be carrying his child. It wasn't right. How could she do this and not even care what she had done to him? Puck was so hurt right now. "Seriously, Quinn. In ten years, we've hardly fought. We never had to. We don't speak to each other this way!" Puck cried, tears filling his eyes. Letting out a deep breath, he folded his arms. "Get the fuck out. I have to think about this."
When he told her to get out, Quinn's heart just about stopped. She didn't want to leave. She may have done this horribly awful thing, but she didn't want to leave. She felt at home here. Even if she didn't remember being at home here. She ran her hands through her long blonde hair. It was definitely something that was hurting her. Quinn thought maybe she deserved what had happened to her from now on. It was her bad karma. Quinn took a deep shaky breath. "I'm sorry, Noah, please don't do this." She said, reaching out to touch his shoulder. He jerked violently away. Her breath caught. "Oh, please, please don't do this. I can change, be better."
"You call me Puck!" He roared. It was so loud, the girls in the kitchen stopped what they were doing. His eyes were still full of tears. Puck could not do this anymore. He hated not having his wife. It was the worst thing he'd ever been through. His patience was waning. He didn't know for sure if he could handle this. He had thought that he could. Now he wasn't so sure. Puck was starting to think that maybe he was going to have to let her muddle through on her own. He was completely fed up right now. Puck was being the best husband he knew how to be and it was completely worthless. He was sure that Quinn wasn't even going to care right now. She was busy having sex with Jesse St. James. Puck had to have her leave right now. He was going to explode with anger if she didn't leave. "Please. Get the fuck out. I can't do this. You're supposed to be trying to get your memories back and remember your life with me! You aren't doing either of those things! All you're doing is thinking about Jesse St. James, iming him, and not trying to get to me and your friends all over again! Get out! I can't do this! I need time to decide whether I can handle this. I'm not sure I can anymore."
Sniffling, Quinn nodded. "Okay." She said, and grabbed some of her clothes and a bag. "I'll come back for the rest of my stuff." She told him. All he did was nod. Quinn fought back tears as she left the bedroom. Rachel and Santana were both quiet as she walked by with her bag. Quinn was hurting, but she was not surprised. She had pushed Puck to the limit. Quinn felt bad for what she had done, even if she would probably do it again all the same. She left the apartment, and as the door slammed shut behind her, she felt like a door had slammed shut in her life. That it was never going to open it again. Quinn took a very deep breath, and worked on not having a panic attack. She was going to have to go and stay with her parents. Quinn wasn't looking forward to that. Quinn may not remember being out of her parents' lives, but it didn't matter, because she had hated them in high school. Quinn had especially not gotten along with her father. He was a big fat cheater. Quinn didn't have any respect for him anymore. But they were her parents. They had to take her in if she showed up.
After Quinn had left, Puck went into the kitchen. Rachel had just put the casserole in the oven. Puck looked at her and Santana. "Would you guys please leave? I just need some time alone." He said, and ignored the looks they gave him. "Please. Just go." Puck added, before either one of them said anything else. Puck didn't care what either of them had to say. Puck just needed time alone. Not to mention, he had to decide what he was going to do to St. James. He couldn't let the man think it was okay to sleep with his wife. Because it wasn't. He was going to have to go and kick that guy's ass. Puck sat down at the kitchen island, and got out a beer. He opened it, and took a sip. At least there was something good about Rachel coming over, there was going to be food. Puck was starving.
The next morning, Puck awoke hung over, and starving. He had attacked the tuna casserole the night before when he was drunk, and it was all gone. Needless to say, it didn't taste as well coming back up. Puck got some aspirin, and then took a look in the kitchen, to see what there was to eat. There was stuff for eggs and bacon and waffles, so he got to cooking. Puck was very upset, and he didn't know how they were going to get through this. Puck had been through so much with Quinn. They had been together for ten long years. And now with all of this it was about to be undone. It was the worst thing that could have happened. Puck hated it. It was awful. He didn't know what he wanted to do about this. Puck loved Quinn so much. Not to mention, he didn't know whether to be mad or forgive her. She didn't remember him. In her mind, it wasn't cheating. Puck didn't know if he could blame her. He just, he couldn't let it go right now. Puck just couldn't believe that she had done this, when she knew that she was married. They had told her. Showed her the proof. She just hadn't been trying to get to know him again. Puck was so pissed. Everything he had said to her in the argument he had meant. Puck had wanted her to hear everything he had said. Puck was hoping that she thought about it. He wanted her to consider it all before they talked anymore about their relationship. Puck knew that she probably wouldn't, but he wanted her to. He wanted her to think about her decisions. He didn't want to lose her. He had a sneaking suspicion he was about to.
While he was cooking, there was a knock on the door. Puck was surprised. It was eight in the morning. He had to actually hurry up for work. Puck didn't want to be late. Lopez would have a cow. He was trying to avoid making her angry. She had forgone the talk about changing anything at work, and he didn't want to get to her to do it again. But actually, since he was fighting with Quinn, he was sure he could have some more time for work. Puck really cared about his business, though, and he didn't want to go through with losing it. He opened the door. It was Santana. "Yo, Lopez." He said, and stepped back to let her in.
Santana waltzed into the apartment as he shut the door. "Hi, Puckerman." She said, as he went to start cooking again. He wondered what she had to say. "How're you holding up?" She asked, tossing her long black hair over her shoulder. Her wedding ring caught the light, and Puck's heart fell a little. But he kept the look of sorrow off his face as best he could. Santana sat down at the kitchen island. "Talk, Puckerman. I'm not Rachel." She certainly did know him well.
As he stirred the eggs, Puck thought about how best to answer. He was not alright by any means. Santana was probably the only one he could really talk to about any of it. Santana was someone he could trust. He let out a deep sigh. "It was the worst, Lopez." He finally said, his shoulders sagging. "She slept with St. James." His voice sounded defeated. "I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her. I'm afraid I will." Puck turned so he could see her. "I don't know if I can forgive her so easily."
"You don't have to if you don't want to." Santana replied, shrugging. She wondered how she would feel if it had been Britts. She loved Brittany with all her heart. They had different rules about cheating. Not that they really ever had, but Santana got where Puck was coming from. She probably would have been upset too. Brittany was her whole world. Besides their kids. She watched as Puck finished up his cooking and joined her at the table. She got out a coffee cup and poured some out of the coffee maker. "But if you want her back, you have to try and work it out." She knew that Puck would want to work it out. She knew how much he loved Quinn. It was cute. Well, it was serious right now, but normally, it was cute. She started mixing up cream and sugar in her coffee. "Do you want to work it out?"
"Of course I do. What are you talking about?" Puck asked. He wondered what she'd been smoking. If he hadn't sold the pot to her anyway. He already knew. "Of course. I just, I don't know if I want to make it easy. Or if I should forgive her, you know? I probably should divorce her. I just, I don't want to. I still love her. I don't want to lose her. Just, we've been together for so long. How could she forget me? How? I love her so much. I was a complete player before I met her. And she made me want to be better. So I was better. I don't know how she did it. All I wanted to do was fuck, sleep, eat, and work on my music. But something about her got me to behave. I can't, I don't want to lose her."
That was what Santana had expected him to say. "Okay. Well. We will just figure something out. I'll help you." Then it was time to bring up the work situation again. Now was a better time, especially since there wasn't much he could do about Quinn at the moment. "So, Puckerman…" She said, looking at him. "About the work situation. I know you're still dealing with Quinn. But since you're kind of at a stalemate, I thought that I might bring it up. It's a real situation." She said, sipping her coffee cup. She wasn't sure what else to say to get him to see that work was important, too. She shouldn't have to, it was his label. She sipped her coffee mug again. She watched his face. He was trying to fight his anger. She supposed she didn't blame him. It was true he didn't need this right now. She just had to get him to do his job.
Forking up some eggs, Puck chewed while he concentrated on what he would say that didn't sound like he was jumping all over her. Puck didn't want to fight. "I just, I know you're trying." Puck finally ventured, when his mouth was free of food. "And I know it's my label. I do. I don't want to lose it. I was planning on being there. Really there." Puck said, trying to give her hope. He didn't really have the concentration for work, but he had to try if he didn't want his label to die. He didn't. Puck loved his label too much. He loved music in general. "I wonder where she's chosen to stay while we're working things out." He said, musing out loud. He didn't really expect Santana to answer, so he was surprised when she did.
"She's at her parents'." She replied, shrugging. "She doesn't get why that's a bad thing. I was surprised. She called this asked me to let you know. I told her that I'd tell you. Of course, it's just her mom now, since Russell cheated on Judy and Frannie's old enough to have her own place. I was honestly surprised because I know that she wasn't that fond of them in high school. So it didn't make sense why she went there. I figured she'd go to St. James' place."
That was definitely all true. Puck ate some more breakfast. He was ready for all this to be over. It was such a mess. "Yeah. I'm surprised, too, actually. She always hated her family. She's the only person with a family worse than mine." Puck hadn't thought it was possible. It was part of the reason that he had been drawn to Quinn in the first place. It meant that she understood what he had gone through with his. And now it's all gone to hell. He didn't know what to do. The first thing he was going to take care of St. James. Teach him a lesson about sleeping with other guys' wives. He finished up his breakfast. As he got up to put his dishes in the dishwasher, he said, "I'm going to be a little late for work. Going to punch out St. James."
Santana gave him a sharp look. "You really have to do that before work?" She asked, folding her arms and arching her eyebrows. She wasn't sure why he felt he had to take care of that right this very minute.
"Yes, I really do. If you want me to be able to concentrate on work today, then yes." Puck replied, as he finished his coffee. "Go on, and I'll be there shortly." He was going to make sure that Jesse knew he couldn't sleep with someone's wife. It wasn't right. He was going to make sure he never did it again. There was only one way to do that. Puck went to get dressed as Santana left. He took a quick shower, to help with the hangover. He got dressed in jeans and a Nickelback tee shirt, and grabbed the keys to his car and a heavy coat. It would be spring shortly though, and he hoped it would start being warm. He had a motorcycle. He liked to ride it. It was nice, it was a Harley. He'd bought it wrecked and fixed it up. The streets still weren't bad, so he got in his car and went to Jesse's office. He hadn't made it big in the show business just yet, so he was working as a janitor in a law office building. Jesse had gone to college. Higher education wasn't his thing. Puck couldn't believe what Quinn saw in him. He was talented, sure, but he wasn't all that. Puck didn't even think he was that bright.
The building was pretty bustling. Puck didn't know what he was going to do first. He had to get him out of the open. Maybe Jesse wouldn't object to being led out of the open. He spotted him almost instantly. Puck went over to him. "St. James." He growled, low in his throat. He waited for the other man to bolt, or immediately start apologizing. He wouldn't be that surprised if either one happened.
Straightening, Jesse froze. It was Puckerman. He couldn't believe that he was here. He guessed maybe he shouldn't be. He guessed that since it had been a couple of weeks, maybe he wasn't coming. He guessed that had been wishful thinking. He ran his hand through his curly hair. He had to spend a lot of time and energy on it to keep it nice. He was going to make it big any day now. "I'm sorry, I really am." He said. He braced himself for what he knew was coming. He was sure that yelling or punching was coming. It was a question of what was coming up first.
All kinds of feelings boiled up in Puck. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do first. Punch him, or start yelling. Both sounded like a good idea. Finally, he reared back and punched Jesse in the face. Good thing the corridor was empty. Jesse fell against the wall. Puck had to admit, that felt really good. He punched Jesse in the stomach, too. That caused Jesse to double over, and slid down the wall to sit on the floor. Puck felt even better. "What made you think you could sleep with a married woman with amnesia?!" He cried. His voice was deep with anger. He didn't doubt that Jesse was going to give him some kind of flimsy excuse. "She's not completely blameless, but I can forgive her, she has amnesia. In her mind, she's not married. You know she is, and you could have said no!" Puck snapped.
Those were all valid points, Jesse thought. Holding his stomach and breathing quickly, Jesse replied, "I'm sorry. I tried to resist her. Not very hard, maybe. But I did. Quinn wanted me, and you know how hard it is to say no to her. I had to give in." He thought that reply might get him punched again. It wasn't a good excuse, that was true. But it was what happened. And Puck was married to Quinn, he got how determined she was. Not that he thought that would save him. He knew it wouldn't.
Rolling his eyes, Puck slammed his hand on the wall. Jesse shook, even though it was nowhere near him. Puck knelt next to him, so he could be eye level with him. "Look. I know that you aren't the sharpest pencil in the box, but really? Did you really think that was going to work? I know how Quinn is, but really, that doesn't matter. She is always determined, but you could have had some self-control." Puck snapped. He was close to punching the guy again, he was so angry. Then Jesse's attention was focused on something else, and he turned around to see. It was Quinn. Oh, great. Puck looked at her face. She looked really nervous. Puck stared at her a minute, and then it dawned on him. "You're pregnant, aren't you?" He asked, his tone indignant and disgusted at the same time. This could not be happening. Not after they had decided to wait until after their careers were doing great so they could take care of it properly. He could not believe this. This was the worst.
When Puck asked her that question, at first Quinn wanted to lie. She didn't want to hurt him. And she knew the real answer would hurt him. She twisted the bottom of her shirt in her hands. She finally answered, her voice quiet. "Yes. About two weeks. It's Jesse's." She braced herself for the yelling that was to come. She didn't blame him for being upset, though. She was his wife. She was pregnant with her ex-fiancé's child. It was not an ideal situation.
"Oh that's just fucking fantastic!" Puck snapped. Jesse looked downright terrified. Puck wanted to punch the douchebag, or scream and cry, something. For starters, he had to get out of there. Pronto. Puck kicked the wall with his sneaker. "I'm fucking out of here. You have a nice life, Quinn, because if you're going to have that guy's baby, then I can't be with you. I could have forgiven the amnesia causing you to sleep with this tool, but getting pregnant, that's the last straw." Puck stormed off. That was it. He couldn't do this anymore. He had limits. This was one of them.
Author's note: Hope ya'll are liking this so far! It's going to get even more angsty, just a warning. But it will end up happy, I swear. XD. Review if you want!