Guardia (1/1)
Title: Guardia (1/1)
Author: Nora C. Parker
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG
Summary: Spoilers for 7x19, "It's a Long Way Back". Set following that episode. Arizona's POV.
Disclaimer: I have no ownership over the characters.
Note: This story is a small break from "Second Time Around" while I process the latest episode.
Guardia
It’s our first night. None of us slept.
Scratch that. Sofia slept. She slept for about a three-hour interval. Once. Another time she’d fall asleep during a feeding, and woken up five minutes after we put her down. Screaming. Hungry, yet again.
Callie couldn’t sleep because she thought she had to keep a constant eye on both the baby and the apnea monitor, even though I know there’s no way she’d sleep through the alarm if anything happened. I couldn’t sleep because my Calliope wouldn’t sleep.
God I hope nothing happens.
For the first time, probably ever, I didn’t mind that Mark didn’t leave the apartment. For some reason, having three adults up all night made more sense than catching whatever short naps we could when we had the rare opportunity.
Instead of sleeping we watched her. Gazed at her in wonder. She’s been in our lives as an independent being for twelve weeks. But that was at the hospital. At the hospital she always had someone around, someone monitoring when she was asleep or when she was awake.
Now she’s here in her crib. A crib that I paid Karev to come and assemble while I spent nights at the hospital running between Callie’s room and the NICU. We’ve swaddled her so she looks like a baby cocoon, her caramel skin set off by the light-colored blanket. A wire snakes out from her wrapping connecting the belt around her body to the alarm.
She looks like Calliope. So much like Calliope. We sit together, Calliope and I, holding hands and watching her. Midway through the early morning quiet, I convinced Callie to lean against me and rest. She put her head on my shoulder and somehow stayed awake until the next feeding. She must be exhausted but she won’t let it show.
Part of me is terrified. I used to say that I never wanted this. I didn’t want children. Now, I’ve got this. I’ve got Calliope and I’ve got Sofia and I can’t imagine a life without either of them. I can’t imagine how empty my heart would be without either of them.
A life without Mark, that I can imagine. But I’m not going to dwell on that tonight. He’s here with us, smiling with us as she makes her baby faces, as her eyes dart while she’s lost in her baby dreams. I don’t think I ever before spent so much time wondering what a baby dreams about. Whatever her dreams, I hope they’re happy and that she feels our love.
We’ve spent so much time at the hospital I’ve almost forgotten what this place is like. We have no food, no adult food, save what we ordered in. The bedroom has clothes strewn about from when I’d come home, the rare times I’d come home, and pick up a new outfit for myself or Callie. We’ve probably still got clothes at the cleaners that I’ve used for laundry. I don’t care. Not about the mess. Not about the clothes.
I care about my family.
My heart almost broke tonight when Callie had a meltdown over the thought of putting Sofia in a car. How could I be so stupid to not anticipate that she’d have an issue? How could I have been so stupid? That’s a question for which I’ll never find an acceptable answer.
Sofia makes another twitch as if she’s going to wake. Calliope squeezes my hand, anxious to have an excuse to pick her up and hold her. After their separation I don’t think Callie can ever feel that she’s held Sofia enough. The girl’s a tricky one, though. She settles herself.
This sleep has been over one-and-a-half hours. Maybe she’ll break the record.
I don’t care. I’m not giving up. I’m here for the duration.
I’m here for my family.
(the end)
Author: Nora C. Parker
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG
Summary: Spoilers for 7x19, "It's a Long Way Back". Set following that episode. Arizona's POV.
Disclaimer: I have no ownership over the characters.
Note: This story is a small break from "Second Time Around" while I process the latest episode.
Guardia
It’s our first night. None of us slept.
Scratch that. Sofia slept. She slept for about a three-hour interval. Once. Another time she’d fall asleep during a feeding, and woken up five minutes after we put her down. Screaming. Hungry, yet again.
Callie couldn’t sleep because she thought she had to keep a constant eye on both the baby and the apnea monitor, even though I know there’s no way she’d sleep through the alarm if anything happened. I couldn’t sleep because my Calliope wouldn’t sleep.
God I hope nothing happens.
For the first time, probably ever, I didn’t mind that Mark didn’t leave the apartment. For some reason, having three adults up all night made more sense than catching whatever short naps we could when we had the rare opportunity.
Instead of sleeping we watched her. Gazed at her in wonder. She’s been in our lives as an independent being for twelve weeks. But that was at the hospital. At the hospital she always had someone around, someone monitoring when she was asleep or when she was awake.
Now she’s here in her crib. A crib that I paid Karev to come and assemble while I spent nights at the hospital running between Callie’s room and the NICU. We’ve swaddled her so she looks like a baby cocoon, her caramel skin set off by the light-colored blanket. A wire snakes out from her wrapping connecting the belt around her body to the alarm.
She looks like Calliope. So much like Calliope. We sit together, Calliope and I, holding hands and watching her. Midway through the early morning quiet, I convinced Callie to lean against me and rest. She put her head on my shoulder and somehow stayed awake until the next feeding. She must be exhausted but she won’t let it show.
Part of me is terrified. I used to say that I never wanted this. I didn’t want children. Now, I’ve got this. I’ve got Calliope and I’ve got Sofia and I can’t imagine a life without either of them. I can’t imagine how empty my heart would be without either of them.
A life without Mark, that I can imagine. But I’m not going to dwell on that tonight. He’s here with us, smiling with us as she makes her baby faces, as her eyes dart while she’s lost in her baby dreams. I don’t think I ever before spent so much time wondering what a baby dreams about. Whatever her dreams, I hope they’re happy and that she feels our love.
We’ve spent so much time at the hospital I’ve almost forgotten what this place is like. We have no food, no adult food, save what we ordered in. The bedroom has clothes strewn about from when I’d come home, the rare times I’d come home, and pick up a new outfit for myself or Callie. We’ve probably still got clothes at the cleaners that I’ve used for laundry. I don’t care. Not about the mess. Not about the clothes.
I care about my family.
My heart almost broke tonight when Callie had a meltdown over the thought of putting Sofia in a car. How could I be so stupid to not anticipate that she’d have an issue? How could I have been so stupid? That’s a question for which I’ll never find an acceptable answer.
Sofia makes another twitch as if she’s going to wake. Calliope squeezes my hand, anxious to have an excuse to pick her up and hold her. After their separation I don’t think Callie can ever feel that she’s held Sofia enough. The girl’s a tricky one, though. She settles herself.
This sleep has been over one-and-a-half hours. Maybe she’ll break the record.
I don’t care. I’m not giving up. I’m here for the duration.
I’m here for my family.
(the end)