(no subject)
This killed me, so I had to post it.
You'll know you're an Episcopalian:
..if the women at your service guild are already asking, "Is it too early
for wine," at a 10:30 a.m. meeting, and the answer is, "Of course not,"
..if when you watch Star Wars and they say "May the force be with you", you
automatically reply "And also with you".
..if someone says, "Let us pray" and you automatically hit your knees.
..if you recognize your neighbor, or rector, in the local liquor store *and*
go over to greet him/her
..if you think the height of haute cuisine is a little, triangular cucumber
sandwich on white bread, crusts excised, stuck together with a toothpick.
..if you know the meaning of "garth", "litchgate", and "undercroft"
..AND....can locate two out of the three.
..if you have totally memorized Rite I, Rite II and the first three episodes
of The Vicar of Dibley.
..if you know the difference between a surplice and a cotta...and the
appropriate use of each.
..if hearing people pray in the language of "justwanna" makes you want to
scream.
..if words like: "vouchsafe", "oblation", "supplications", "succor", "bewail",
"wherefore", "dost" and "very" (in its archaic sense) are familiar to you
even if you don't have a clue that they mean.
..if you can rattle off such tongue twisters like: ".. who made there by his
one oblation of himself once offered a full and perfect sacrifice, oblation
and satisfaction for the sins of the world" and "Wherefore, O Lord and
Heavenly Father, we thy people, do celebrate and make here, with these gifts
which we offer unto thee, the memorial thy Son hath commanded us to make..."
without missing a beat.
..if your choir director suggests discussing something over a beer after
choir rehearsal.
..if you catch yourself genuflecting or bowing as you enter a row of seats
in a theatre.
..if you can pronounce "innumerable benefits procured unto us by the same."
..if you ever find yourself saying, "Oh, but we've never done it that way
before."
..if, when visiting a Roman Church, you are the only Ah-men amongst a sea
of Ai-mens
..if your covered dish for the potluck dinner is escargot in puff shells.
..if you know "Smokey Mary's" is a church, not a bar.
..if you know that a sursum corda is not a surgical procedure.
..if you don't think Agnus Dei is a woman.
..if your picnic basket has sterling knives and forks (entree, fish, salad
and cake).
..if you know that the nave is not a playing card.
..if your friend said "I'm truly sorry..." and you replied, "and you humbly
repent?"
..if you know that the Senior Warden and the Junior Warden are not positions
in the local prison.
..if you think the most serious breach of propriety one can commit is
failure to chill the salad forks.
..if when asked, "Sister/Brother, have you accepted Jesus as your personal
Savior?" you respond "But isn't that a bit selfish?"
...if you think cheese and crackers is as essential as receiving the Sacred
Host.
And finally....
..if you reach a point when you're not sure about anything theologically but
you still feel completely at home at the altar rail and somehow know you're
meeting God there, even though you can't begin to understand how.