love will tear us apart
The trip home really re-instated my feeling for my ex boyfriend Mike.
The break-up was soo incomplete and confusing.
I was in my old home, everything was pretty much the way I left it.
I went to black party after my 14 hour work day and ran into some mutual friends of Mike and I. That was cool. But when I got home something uncontrollable happened, I couldn't help it. My insides turned weak. My vision blurred with tears and I wept. I grabbed my head in pain and shook. The tears ran down my cheek for what seemed like hours.
I was a mess, my friend Michael saw it all. I tried to stop and regain my composure but nothing would work.
Even now thinking about it, thinking about the feelings I still have for Mike makes me teary eyed.
Mike told me that his feeling for me were back as well. We were in love all over again.
But he has multiple partners in Seattle. One was even living with him for a while.
I was gone for less than a month and he was dating some twink. It all made me sick. I understand how he is co-dependent but damn dude thats soo fast.
Don't get me wrong, I've fucked all sorts of faggots here in NYC. I've gone on dates but I can't open up all the way.
It made me wish I could rip my heart out and put it in a time capsule so I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore.
I guess I did hide my heart in a way. I won't let anyone close to me and when they do get close to me I push them away. In this life/world it seems love will only turn to hurt.
The break-up was soo incomplete and confusing.
I was in my old home, everything was pretty much the way I left it.
I went to black party after my 14 hour work day and ran into some mutual friends of Mike and I. That was cool. But when I got home something uncontrollable happened, I couldn't help it. My insides turned weak. My vision blurred with tears and I wept. I grabbed my head in pain and shook. The tears ran down my cheek for what seemed like hours.
I was a mess, my friend Michael saw it all. I tried to stop and regain my composure but nothing would work.
Even now thinking about it, thinking about the feelings I still have for Mike makes me teary eyed.
Mike told me that his feeling for me were back as well. We were in love all over again.
But he has multiple partners in Seattle. One was even living with him for a while.
I was gone for less than a month and he was dating some twink. It all made me sick. I understand how he is co-dependent but damn dude thats soo fast.
Don't get me wrong, I've fucked all sorts of faggots here in NYC. I've gone on dates but I can't open up all the way.
It made me wish I could rip my heart out and put it in a time capsule so I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore.
I guess I did hide my heart in a way. I won't let anyone close to me and when they do get close to me I push them away. In this life/world it seems love will only turn to hurt.