[February 4th, 2007] This is a start that I know I'll believe in...

[no_russianbride]

Addie had gotten married to Jim, and vice versa was true as well. They had been married officially since twenty-hundred hours, and Addie knew that it was just the start. She also knew that if she had to keep smiling so wide that her jaw was either going to lock in place, her cheeks were going to cramp, or she was going to just be stuck that way

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[irish_bull]

Mike had already made the arrangements with Weir in preparation for the day Jim actually did propose, she'd just been waiting on him. All it took was a tap on the shoulder and a nod to let her know he was ready. Which was good...given that Jim was going to be needing an open bed *immediately.*

He hadn't figured out how to tell Jim and Addie that he was making a gift of their new quarters to them...so he didn't go to them right away for a congratulatory hug or anything like that. Jim was worried...Mike could tell, it was out of character...but this was going to be hard. Good, but hard...and he wanted it to be *big*, too.

He was giving Jim his own life as a wedding present...no poor sick Mike to look after all the time anymore. He just didn't know how to do it.

Then he saw her...standing across the room, looking as awkward as he felt, and so damn *beautiful*...

Crossing the crowded room as discreetly as he could, he ran a hand over his hair unnecessarily...a habit he'd formed whenever he saw her. Hell, he always looked like crap, and always acted like such a goon...

"Hey." he greeted her, coming up alongside Heira and trying not to stare. "You're here." He hesitated, realizing how stupid it sounded, then laughed and shook his head. "I mean, of course you're here...I just mean...y'know...hi."

[sad_mysterygirl]

Heira smiled laughing lightly at the somewhat awkward approach that Mike seemed to be experiencing, "I was invited, along with a few other of the people of my village. I believe they are the louder group over there speaking with Ronon." She had been with them for a while, but knew that most of the men wished to speak with others about things that were not how lovely the service was, so Heira was left to her own thoughts until Mike had come up to her.

"It was quite an evening, and your brother looks truly happy, as does Aedeline. They are very lucky to have found the love that they have for each other." Heira is trying to hide her own blushing, because she does realize that he has been looking at her a bit harder than he usually does. She is merely thinking that it is the circumstances though, for everyone around them is thinking of happier thoughts.

[irish_bull]

Mike nodded, stealing a look at Jim and Addie with a grin. "Yeah...I just think it's funny that I'm the only man in Atlantis that don't think this is surprising, Jim getting himself settled down and all." Glancing back at her, Heira's curious look made him shrug with a sheepish smile. "Jim may have a wild streak, but he's always been the one who wanted the wife and kids and house with a white picket fence...sorry. Human ideal of a perfect family life." he added in explanation. "That's just...never been me."

Mike paused, his gaze drawn to her face for a moment as he pictured it...maybe not the white picket fence dream, but a time and a place...and a girl. One girl...the only girl, it seemed, at least whenever he went to the mainland...

"Least, it never *was* me." he amended quietly, then had to look away when he felt his cheeks flaming again.

[sad_mysterygirl]

Perhaps it was that she did not know Jim as well as Mike did, but she was not surprised at the vows, nor the settling down. It was probably because she could see that the two of them were very much in love, and among her people that was the logical next step, despite it actually having almost nothing to do with logic.

Nodding she too felt a bit of a blush rise to her cheeks as she heard Mike speak of his own future, along with the subtle correction he made to it all. Perhaps she was not as crazy as she previously though. A smile crossed her features as she tried to draw his gaze again, "I do know the sentiment behind your thoughts on the subject quite well, from my own feelings. Trust me I do understand."

Heira let her hand reach to his arm, placing it there for comfort and just to create the contact between the two of them that she had found herself craving more and more.

[irish_bull]

Mike's gaze lifted when her hand touched his arm...warm and light and so delicate, and yet so incredibly powerful. She was such a strong woman...and still so totally a woman...

Looking away again, back towards Addie and Jim, Mike chewed on his lower lip lightly. "I still haven't gone over to talk to them yet. Say congrats and stuff." he admitted quietly. "It's just...weird." He paused, sighing heavily. "Especially since I'm so cool with it. And I don't know what that means in the long run...losing my brother, in a way, and still standing after all is said and done."

[sad_mysterygirl]

Heira left her hand upon his arm and moved closer to him, making sure that her gaze met to his eyes. "You are mistaken Mike, you have not lost your brother, even in the way that you think he is not leaving you. Instead you are regaining your life, and he his. I realize you feel like your lives have been woven together into something so indestructible, and perhaps they have, but I still believe that the single strands can be pulled from the weave without worrying that the entire tapestry will falter."

Heira smiled to him, "You are simply allowing him to begin weaving his life in with Aedeline's and there will still be strands that intersect to yours." There was a slight laugh, "You have not lost your brother, which is why you are so 'cool with it'. Because you know the truth, regardless of the doubt you still feel."

Her hand rubbed comforting against his arm, "He would not want you to feel as if you were losing him, you are instead gaining a stronger man in your brother. The love he shares with Aedeline, and even Aedeline herself... they are part of your life now, but together rather than apart. It is a simple shift... one that I know you shall do well with."

[irish_bull]

Mike smiled, but shook his head at the same time. "It ain't quite like that...not really." he replied with a sigh, then with a glance around, met her gaze and inclined his head towards one of the open balconies, silently asking her to walk with him for added privacy. He prayed she wouldn't be so quick to move away from him, though, her hand on his arm warming him to the core in a way that he hadn't felt in a long time.

Ushering her ahead of him politely, he finally fell into step alongside her, talking as they headed for the balcony. "I told you once, 'bout a month or so back...how I was hospitalized as a kid 'cause I was sick in the head? Well...it's been like that most of my life. And I've always hung on to the constants to keep my head straight, you know? Certain things are always there...birth, death, taxes, and Jimmy. And now I ain't losing him really...but that part of my life is changing. Change...it never sits well with me."

He paused as they emerged outside, taking a slow, greedy breath of fresh salt air to fill his lungs with its cool, invigorating caress. It felt better out here...not as claustrophobic. More relaxing. Not as many people...just Heira.

"This time," he admitted quietly, "it's sitting *so* well with me that I've been making plans to move out for the last six weeks. And Jim doesn't know...not really, not all of it." Turning to face her, Mike leaned back against the railing. "I'm doing it as a wedding gift to them...me and Jimmy are the only officers on Atlantis doubling up, so our room's big enough for two...and far as I know, Jim and Addie are the first married couple on assignment here now. A fella left for Earth recently, and he left behind a room with a good location...so Weir said I could have it. And I told her I was gonna do it."

Hesitating, Mike shrugged. "I dunno...I guess I feel weird for not feeling weirder. Like...this should feel *bad* somehow, wrong or painful...but it don't. And I don't like that...that there could be that distance between us, y'know? Our relationship's never been like that."

[sad_mysterygirl]

Heira took in the fresh air, feeling it fill her lungs and calm her senses a bit. It was almost too much being in Atlantis, perhaps more so due to the feeling she could not shake in regards to the Ancients that still might linger within the city. She kept her closeness to Mike as well, comforted by his presence along with knowing that he entrusted her with these confessions of sorts.

Meeting his eyes Heira smiled warmly at him, "He should be so lucky to know that you are so concerned with this," she paused, "Though I do know that you are not the type to tell him either. Still I must tell you Mike that even trees that are planted too close, they grow together, but even the trees cannot stay entwined forever. They split and push apart their roots spreading too deep and too close. If they were to stay together for their entire lifespan, they would suffocate the other. You should not be worried that this is not something that is causing more pain, take that as a sign that it is just destined to happen."

[irish_bull]

Mike let her remarks just sink in for a moment, finally smiling down at her as he shifted so they were standing face to face, letting himself still lean against the railing with one arm propped against it.

"Y'know," he sighed, glancing down for a moment, "Jim may be the smart one...but he's always sayin' I'm the one that thinks too much. Overanalyzing, trying to figure everything out before I take a step in any direction..."

He trailed off, then after a beat reached out to catch a lock of hair that a breeze had suddenly blown in her face, playfully flipping it back out of her eyes. "Then you come along and in two seconds, you just...make everything so *simple.* Like everything makes perfect sense when you say it. How do you *do* that?"

[sad_mysterygirl]

Laughing lightly Heira shook her head trying to dismiss whatever Mike was saying about her. It wasn't that she didn't believe it, but she was just embarrassed by the notion. "It is not a matter of me making is simple, or make sense Mike. It already does make sense, you simply need to look beyond what you always see. Trust your heart, trust yourself."

Heira sighed exhaling and taking in another deep breath of the fresh air, "Trust is something that my people have struggled to maintain, among each other... among others but we will never lose trust in ourselves. In some instances the trust you have for yourself is all you can rely upon."

[irish_bull]

Mike nodded, still watching her...the way her eyes fluttered a little as she took another deep lungful of air, the tilt of her head and the roll of her shoulders...the way those thick, raven curls spilled down her back and nearly glittered as the wind moved them, begging to be touched...

"Yeah, well...sometimes trusting yourself *too* much can get lonely." he replied quietly, choosing his words carefully. "I mean, I'm kinda biased, speaking as one half of a matched set...but I don't know if I could ever live like that. Alone, solo, a 'me, myself, and I' world. I don't know how normal people do it." He paused, lowering his gaze a moment, then turning his eyes back out to the water.

"How *you* do it."

[sad_mysterygirl]

Heira shifted as well letting her eyes cast out onto the glassy surface of the water, the wind catching in her hair letting it finally move fully off her face. She listened to him, trying to sort out why he was so troubled by something that to her seemed so natural.

Turning to her side a bit she smiled, "I am not quite so alone, even in the world of 'me, myself, and I' so it is not as difficult as you would think. My family is close, despite the lengths that I go to just to keep my independence." There was a slight bit of laughter, "Moving out, moving away... Mike it is not the end of everything you have come to know with your brother, it is simply the next part of your life."

Heira was concerned that Mike was thinking to heavily upon the matter, and that all his worry would cause him more heartache than happiness, "Mike this is a good thing, it is not something that should be taking up so much of your thoughts."

[irish_bull]

Her final remark was enough to make Mike seriously uncomfortable in a really *good* way. If only she knew just what took up his thoughts when they were together...how the problems just melted away and the world got infinitely smaller, narrowing to whatever time...whatever space could hold the sound of her voice or the sight of her smile.

Maybe this was the time...the place. Maybe it was time to stop thinking and start *doing.* The next part of his life...just like she said.

"Truthfully?" he replied after a moment, head bowing to stare at his hands. "It's not...not anymore. It's hard for me to think or worry about much when I'm with you."

[sad_mysterygirl]

Smiling Heira met Mike's eyes pleased that she could grant him some form of serenity from a mind that always seemed so restless. Constantly Heira felt that perhaps his overthinking would one day give him more troubles than relief and for any moment that she could lessen that burden upon him she was grateful.

"I am grateful for that Mike, see things are not quite so doomed as long as you take the time to look past all the things that you normally find solace in."

If she could allow herself to think beyond what his words meant on the surface she would have felt her chest tighten a bit, but instead she tried not to wind herself up in fantasies that she was not sure of herself.