Yea, wank post ahead.
I think it's about time I had a bit of wank filled post. Usually when i do something close to this i don't get very many comments, if any, but i mean, it would nice for people to comment on if they feel i'm accurate.
Basically for the first time in my life i actually feel like i've changed. I mean, i'm sure i've changed over my life but it's all been very gradual, baby steps and all that stuff. But right now it kinda feels like BAM, different. First big change is actually a mental one... It's my dreams. Usually they're always completley random and any relation i see to my real life is through a very big stretch of symbolism. Now all my dreams are completley relevant to my life, always people that I know, always situations and places i've been or know of. I miss my random dreams, i miss having the feeling of flying over a field at night before going to a theatre where i'll be taken to heaven. But the dreams I have now feel like there's more relevance to my life, it feels more like my brain is processing rather than entertaining.
Then there's just...everything that's happening in my life, i'm getting a job finally, i'm enjoying canning college and there's all these other things that are just kind of condensing to make my life like...WOW! It's not in a "OH MY GOD, i love every facet of my life!" it's just that I find myself thinking about things now and i couldn't imagine ever thinking about them at all about a year ago.
It's kind of scary just coming to the realisation that everything in your life has changed, I have good thoughts about people and about things but they aren't the good that i'm used to. I've always been scarred of growing up, and now it's happening...it's more overwhelming than anything. I could consider myself lucky i doubt there are people who can capture the moment that they change in their lives.
Hmm...this wasn't as long as I thought it would be...well it's out of my system now.. woohoo
Basically for the first time in my life i actually feel like i've changed. I mean, i'm sure i've changed over my life but it's all been very gradual, baby steps and all that stuff. But right now it kinda feels like BAM, different. First big change is actually a mental one... It's my dreams. Usually they're always completley random and any relation i see to my real life is through a very big stretch of symbolism. Now all my dreams are completley relevant to my life, always people that I know, always situations and places i've been or know of. I miss my random dreams, i miss having the feeling of flying over a field at night before going to a theatre where i'll be taken to heaven. But the dreams I have now feel like there's more relevance to my life, it feels more like my brain is processing rather than entertaining.
Then there's just...everything that's happening in my life, i'm getting a job finally, i'm enjoying canning college and there's all these other things that are just kind of condensing to make my life like...WOW! It's not in a "OH MY GOD, i love every facet of my life!" it's just that I find myself thinking about things now and i couldn't imagine ever thinking about them at all about a year ago.
It's kind of scary just coming to the realisation that everything in your life has changed, I have good thoughts about people and about things but they aren't the good that i'm used to. I've always been scarred of growing up, and now it's happening...it's more overwhelming than anything. I could consider myself lucky i doubt there are people who can capture the moment that they change in their lives.
Hmm...this wasn't as long as I thought it would be...well it's out of my system now.. woohoo