(no subject)
as far as holidays, i'm not sure..but as far as regular days, today has been pretty satisfying.
the first present i got was a dead mouse on the kitchen floor from snacks the cat. awesome. the second was an offering of a hit off a blunt from my coworker al at the doggy daycare. as much as i like smoking weed with near strangers (seriously), i had to decline because it was 8am and i hadnt slept much and had a long drive to the island ahead of me.
i gave my sister a tote bag i made and she said it was her favorite present. that totally made my day. plus i had nothing to listen to and i asked her where the mixtape i had made her over the summer was and she said it was in her boyfriends car because they'd been listening to it. it makes me really happy when someone mentions something that i gave them or even something that i said when i've already forgotten about it.
last night was pretty weird. eliza, skip and i went to the abbey in the afternoon. i love that bar so much. actually its the only bar i have any interest in at all. mark, the bartender, gave me a free egg nog which was pretty rough on the ol tummy but definitely made me a lot drunker than i expected. skip was off to long island and eliza to greenpoint, so i went home and drank more by myself. i watched all dogs go to heaven in a stupor and it gave me a really bad feeling. like maybe i hadnt realized how disturbing it is when i was a kid but seeing it now made me feel like i had been duped into liking a really scary movie. it especially doesnt make sense because i was one of those kids who was scared of everything, probably to an annoying degree.
i thought at the very least i would pass out early and for once get more than 4 hours of sleep for work at 7. something was making me horribly, restless and i woke up every hour feeling uneasy. thats the best way i can describe my mood since getting dumped. a general feeling of unease. and when i drink coffee instead of clearing my head like it normally would it just makes my heart pound. i feel nervous all the time, like somehow things will get worse any minute. i have been trying hard not to think about it. or if anything to think about things in very logical terms without letting myself really feel the full force of how much it straight up hurts. because really that would be too much.
but back to christmas! my mom just told me about visiting my 87 year old grandmother in florida this past week, and how they were watching the nutcracker and my grandma turned to her and, pointing at one of the male ballerinas, said "look at him, he's getting a hard-on!"
the first present i got was a dead mouse on the kitchen floor from snacks the cat. awesome. the second was an offering of a hit off a blunt from my coworker al at the doggy daycare. as much as i like smoking weed with near strangers (seriously), i had to decline because it was 8am and i hadnt slept much and had a long drive to the island ahead of me.
i gave my sister a tote bag i made and she said it was her favorite present. that totally made my day. plus i had nothing to listen to and i asked her where the mixtape i had made her over the summer was and she said it was in her boyfriends car because they'd been listening to it. it makes me really happy when someone mentions something that i gave them or even something that i said when i've already forgotten about it.
last night was pretty weird. eliza, skip and i went to the abbey in the afternoon. i love that bar so much. actually its the only bar i have any interest in at all. mark, the bartender, gave me a free egg nog which was pretty rough on the ol tummy but definitely made me a lot drunker than i expected. skip was off to long island and eliza to greenpoint, so i went home and drank more by myself. i watched all dogs go to heaven in a stupor and it gave me a really bad feeling. like maybe i hadnt realized how disturbing it is when i was a kid but seeing it now made me feel like i had been duped into liking a really scary movie. it especially doesnt make sense because i was one of those kids who was scared of everything, probably to an annoying degree.
i thought at the very least i would pass out early and for once get more than 4 hours of sleep for work at 7. something was making me horribly, restless and i woke up every hour feeling uneasy. thats the best way i can describe my mood since getting dumped. a general feeling of unease. and when i drink coffee instead of clearing my head like it normally would it just makes my heart pound. i feel nervous all the time, like somehow things will get worse any minute. i have been trying hard not to think about it. or if anything to think about things in very logical terms without letting myself really feel the full force of how much it straight up hurts. because really that would be too much.
but back to christmas! my mom just told me about visiting my 87 year old grandmother in florida this past week, and how they were watching the nutcracker and my grandma turned to her and, pointing at one of the male ballerinas, said "look at him, he's getting a hard-on!"