Kids love me for some reason and it always makes me so uncomfortable cause I don't want their parents thinking I'm some Chester the Molester, so I'm always really bitchy to them. I like to pretend I'm Dawn Davenport talking to Taffy.
"Oh Taffy!"
CROTCH ROT?????? Dude, I just take my shower when I get home. I can't stand being in the locker room any longer than I have to. AND I HATE WALKING IN AND THERE ARE NAKED DOODZ AND I HAVE TO ACT LIKE I'M LOOKING AT MY WATCH AND NOT THEIR FLACCID COCKS!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
oh shit, that is awesome. kids tend to avoid me, which is totally fine with me and awesome.
if i wait like longer than 5 minutes i'm FUCKED. i LOVE the naked dudes in the locker room, easily the best part of going, and i totally look because everyone looks and you can get away with it. BEST!
gag. well I go to the Moores Mill road YMCA and I love it there, but the guys are overall pretty nasty and old. Most of the time I'm trying to keep from giggling uncontrollably to myself.
Speaking of partner cop movies, there's this big latina/Irish girl named Brigid I know, and I think she kinda looks like Droopy Dog and said so to my friend, who said,
"Oh yeah, you know what? Brigid's brother one time said, 'You know that movie Turner and Hooch? You look like Hooch!'"
Yeah, there was this little fat black boy that would always talk to me in the locker room at the Y and I'm like totally trying to get away from him and he's telling me his life story....
and I'm thinking, "Jesus, this is just like Cop and a Half."
It would make a hilarious movie---me and this fat kid going out and solving mysteries...me driving around and him sitting there blabbing away, getting on my nerves.
Well see, is he all blabbering to you like that kid Gregory Corso in Dick Tracy, or like Curly Sue, as in hella annoying and thinking they know everything then in the end they help you, but you kind of have to condescend and just smile and grit through it?
Or is it all Sixth Sense boy whispering about death, or something in-between like Short Round in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, where he might be grating but he's actually kinda funny and adult-like and totally skilled like MacGuyver,
or is it more like this, maybe not like Little Ben, but if you scroll down to the first comment, like that?
Awww! Little fat kid who loves yarn!
Don't ever have sex in front of him because he won't be full of that childlike wonder anymore!
HAHAHAHAHA Probably more like Curly Sue! With a dash of Rerun from What's Happening. Argh.
I totally can't believe you said SHORT ROUND. Hahaha. I used to think he was so funny.
That fat kid with yarn story was hilarious. That kid at the Y is similiar---he's all awe-inspired and everything is so freakin' cool. I just roll my eyes.
Fat kid- "Hey, this locker won't open!" Me- "Oh yeah?" Fat kid- "Why won't this locker open?" I roll my eyes and walk away like a big ole queen. Fat kid- "Hey mister!" I keep walking.
Does your butt make a nice heart shape when you wear briefs (and are those briefs horizontally striped to accentuate the heart shape), especially when one leg is forward and one back in the walking motion?
And I'm so mean to them...I always roll my eyes and am like, "Yeah.", "Mmm...hmm.", "Oh yeah?".
Makes me feel like Don Knotts or, worse yet, COP AND A HALF.
HOWEVER, I don't take showers there---I GO HOME SMELLY! HAHAHAHA
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i don't care about the smell but if i don't shower i will get the dreaded CROTCH ROT and die 1000 terrible deaths, metaphorically, of course.
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"Oh Taffy!"
CROTCH ROT?????? Dude, I just take my shower when I get home. I can't stand being in the locker room any longer than I have to. AND I HATE WALKING IN AND THERE ARE NAKED DOODZ AND I HAVE TO ACT LIKE I'M LOOKING AT MY WATCH AND NOT THEIR FLACCID COCKS!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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if i wait like longer than 5 minutes i'm FUCKED. i LOVE the naked dudes in the locker room, easily the best part of going, and i totally look because everyone looks and you can get away with it. BEST!
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"Oh yeah, you know what? Brigid's brother one time said, 'You know that movie Turner and Hooch? You look like Hooch!'"
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Yeah, there was this little fat black boy that would always talk to me in the locker room at the Y and I'm like totally trying to get away from him and he's telling me his life story....
and I'm thinking, "Jesus, this is just like Cop and a Half."
It would make a hilarious movie---me and this fat kid going out and solving mysteries...me driving around and him sitting there blabbing away, getting on my nerves.
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Or is it all Sixth Sense boy whispering about death, or something in-between like Short Round in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, where he might be grating but he's actually kinda funny and adult-like and totally skilled like MacGuyver,
or is it more like this, maybe not like Little Ben, but if you scroll down to the first comment, like that?
Awww! Little fat kid who loves yarn!
Don't ever have sex in front of him because he won't be full of that childlike wonder anymore!
Reply
Probably more like Curly Sue! With a dash of Rerun from What's Happening. Argh.
I totally can't believe you said SHORT ROUND. Hahaha. I used to think he was so funny.
That fat kid with yarn story was hilarious. That kid at the Y is similiar---he's all awe-inspired and everything is so freakin' cool. I just roll my eyes.
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"I'll show you!"
***months later, skills learned and all***
"... What's wrong _______ (fat kid)?"
" ... nuthin' ..."
"Aw, you can tell me!"
" ... Well ... uh ... well ... when is my penis going to get bigger?"
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Here is an example,
Fat kid- "Hey, this locker won't open!"
Me- "Oh yeah?"
Fat kid- "Why won't this locker open?"
I roll my eyes and walk away like a big ole queen.
Fat kid- "Hey mister!"
I keep walking.
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Because that's totally how I imagine it,
hand all mid-towel-drop and everything.
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