Mr. World, me and The Universe will kick your ass...
...for you have pulled one over on us for the last time. Fool me once, shame on you, full my life shame on...who? I don't know.
Thanks for the prayer, Kelly. As hard as some might find it to believe, that is comforting.
So...today? Today. Today was fine. I was what everyone wanted. But I think...hmm,...I didn't feel too talkative today. Thank goodness for my friends. I'm not happy for them, they make me happy.
But yeah. My mother had a miscarriage. Is that how it's spelled? Hum...
I've thought of that before. Not recently, but for a good chunk of my life ever since I had discovered the concept of death (some often say that I had grown up too fast...not through pain, but enlightenment). I often think of who would be in my place had I not made it in this fucked up world. I mean, really. In all honesty, I wake up most mornings truly thankful that I'm alive, if nothing else to be thankful for. I wonder who would be me, what they would be like, how much...better, they would be. I think they would be.
But more than that, now, I wonder who I'm missing. Who I'll never meet. Who I'll never know. How much would the world have changed had they made it? It's weird for me, but I kknow my mother must be...be...in grief. She's down.
Me? I can only say it. I can only say it. I can't prove my sadness, hate, or love like people would like. I think it's part of the world's scheme. It's probably the main reason I never looked for a girlfriend...just a waste of time. It's the reason why I feel sorry for my family. They all say I don't care, that I want nothing to do with them. But what can I do? I can't. Not now, at least.
Now...now I just try and fix things. I need to focus my energy (speaking of which I went running today. Feel good.). Focus in school. See where time takes me.
I'm fine, now. Really. My lack of display of strong emotion prevents me from really keeping it. That's probably the advantage.
Oh, how I miss her...I've changed for the worse, it seems...
Goodbye, livejournal.
Thanks for the prayer, Kelly. As hard as some might find it to believe, that is comforting.
So...today? Today. Today was fine. I was what everyone wanted. But I think...hmm,...I didn't feel too talkative today. Thank goodness for my friends. I'm not happy for them, they make me happy.
But yeah. My mother had a miscarriage. Is that how it's spelled? Hum...
I've thought of that before. Not recently, but for a good chunk of my life ever since I had discovered the concept of death (some often say that I had grown up too fast...not through pain, but enlightenment). I often think of who would be in my place had I not made it in this fucked up world. I mean, really. In all honesty, I wake up most mornings truly thankful that I'm alive, if nothing else to be thankful for. I wonder who would be me, what they would be like, how much...better, they would be. I think they would be.
But more than that, now, I wonder who I'm missing. Who I'll never meet. Who I'll never know. How much would the world have changed had they made it? It's weird for me, but I kknow my mother must be...be...in grief. She's down.
Me? I can only say it. I can only say it. I can't prove my sadness, hate, or love like people would like. I think it's part of the world's scheme. It's probably the main reason I never looked for a girlfriend...just a waste of time. It's the reason why I feel sorry for my family. They all say I don't care, that I want nothing to do with them. But what can I do? I can't. Not now, at least.
Now...now I just try and fix things. I need to focus my energy (speaking of which I went running today. Feel good.). Focus in school. See where time takes me.
I'm fine, now. Really. My lack of display of strong emotion prevents me from really keeping it. That's probably the advantage.
Oh, how I miss her...I've changed for the worse, it seems...
Goodbye, livejournal.