(no subject)
I thought I'd like to x-post this from my journal ugly_letters.
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I've been blog surfing, and I'm somewhat suprised by what people I know write about. They're different. Maybe I've been out of touch too long that I'm really bothered by this. Am I really the only one who's getting better? Seriously, everyone else wants to die.
Shhh, I read about this person I know, and she took 4 panadols to kill herself. I was like HAH WTF. She sounded like me when I was younger, only that I was a lot worse. 4 pills is nothing to me. I took my first whole bottle at 10, and I'm sure you're familiar with what I've experimented with less than a year ago- death. I wouldn't be alive today if my friend Faye wasn't there saying that I could've be something more. Now I see these girls in my place- I see myself in them, the burning eyes, the soul condemned in hell. I wouldn't reach out my hand, no, not for these people who had abandoned me. I've given up on sympathy a long time ago. Because I hated myself in that state of wreck, and I despise these girls for choosing death. There are a lot of ways to die, my friend. As a coward, or something else. I know, when I die, I would like to die fighting for myself. Suicide is selfish and cowardly. If you shot yourself would you like your parents to clean the blood off the ceiling for you?
I guess I should just stick to reading my LJ friends entries and not widen my social circle. I'm an outcast, and I'll never be in. At least I have faith that I can be so much more than this. I'm an artist, I'm a writer, I'm loyal to those who are loyal to me. My personality is not spectacular, but at least I try to improve myself. Everyday is a new day, even if I have to lie to make myself believe.
Probably it's just natural that teenagers get depressed at this age. I think I've passed that, and I'm not as young as I was. Time to think about new things, new beginnings. Find endings to the hanging problems and embrace every wind as it comes. I can't control how things are, but I won't let it control me.
And to that, I would like to end with a quote: What life means to us is determined not so much by what happens to us as by our reaction to what happens. -Lewis L. Dunnington
Good day.
Disclaimer: Offense is not intended. And of course I'm not referring to anybody who is reading this.
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It would be very nice if everyone could post about their accomplishments or anything. It would be nice and I wouldn't feel like I'm talking to myself. Just a little quote or comment would be very very nice.
---
I've been blog surfing, and I'm somewhat suprised by what people I know write about. They're different. Maybe I've been out of touch too long that I'm really bothered by this. Am I really the only one who's getting better? Seriously, everyone else wants to die.
Shhh, I read about this person I know, and she took 4 panadols to kill herself. I was like HAH WTF. She sounded like me when I was younger, only that I was a lot worse. 4 pills is nothing to me. I took my first whole bottle at 10, and I'm sure you're familiar with what I've experimented with less than a year ago- death. I wouldn't be alive today if my friend Faye wasn't there saying that I could've be something more. Now I see these girls in my place- I see myself in them, the burning eyes, the soul condemned in hell. I wouldn't reach out my hand, no, not for these people who had abandoned me. I've given up on sympathy a long time ago. Because I hated myself in that state of wreck, and I despise these girls for choosing death. There are a lot of ways to die, my friend. As a coward, or something else. I know, when I die, I would like to die fighting for myself. Suicide is selfish and cowardly. If you shot yourself would you like your parents to clean the blood off the ceiling for you?
I guess I should just stick to reading my LJ friends entries and not widen my social circle. I'm an outcast, and I'll never be in. At least I have faith that I can be so much more than this. I'm an artist, I'm a writer, I'm loyal to those who are loyal to me. My personality is not spectacular, but at least I try to improve myself. Everyday is a new day, even if I have to lie to make myself believe.
Probably it's just natural that teenagers get depressed at this age. I think I've passed that, and I'm not as young as I was. Time to think about new things, new beginnings. Find endings to the hanging problems and embrace every wind as it comes. I can't control how things are, but I won't let it control me.
And to that, I would like to end with a quote: What life means to us is determined not so much by what happens to us as by our reaction to what happens. -Lewis L. Dunnington
Good day.
Disclaimer: Offense is not intended. And of course I'm not referring to anybody who is reading this.
---
It would be very nice if everyone could post about their accomplishments or anything. It would be nice and I wouldn't feel like I'm talking to myself. Just a little quote or comment would be very very nice.