How I went out for milk, and came home witha lieutenancy
Conversation at the club was getting beastly scarce, all the youngish chaps gone off already, you know; and I was on my way out to run an errand for the little woman and get myself home when I saw the inevitable line-around-the-corner that signified the old mobile recruiting station. Poster of Kitchener's moustache all bristling at me, redcoat with large drum shouting about King and Country - standard. I'd never done a useful thing in my life, which I felt uniquely suited me for an Army commission; and, hell, there was nothing to do in England lately...
"You're late. And you haven't even got the milk, have you?"
"Oh, blast - I knew I'd forgotten something. Frightfully sorry, darling - I ran into some gents that I just had to stop and chat with."
"You know if you're having an affair I prefer to simply be told."
"My only affair is with our mother country, dear heart; I have taken England as my bride - "
"... What? Oh, God, Alistair, you didn't."
"I could not love thee, dear, so much, loved I not honour more. And besides, won't it be nice for you to have me out of the house for a while?"
"Alistair..."
"You're late. And you haven't even got the milk, have you?"
"Oh, blast - I knew I'd forgotten something. Frightfully sorry, darling - I ran into some gents that I just had to stop and chat with."
"You know if you're having an affair I prefer to simply be told."
"My only affair is with our mother country, dear heart; I have taken England as my bride - "
"... What? Oh, God, Alistair, you didn't."
"I could not love thee, dear, so much, loved I not honour more. And besides, won't it be nice for you to have me out of the house for a while?"
"Alistair..."