(Untitled)

[allaboveboard]

Right, well, given how none of you have put a bullet through my head yet, or somesuch, I suppose bit of an apology's in order. Or so I'm told. (And before anyone asks, I'm the one as stood in for your friend a bit back.) Terribly sorry, you know.

Also I'm working here now. Sure you're all thrilled.

Comments

[andwhatisthis]

...You're soundin' familiar.

Why'd someone want t' shoot you?

[allaboveboard]

Oh, hallo, it's the boyfriend.

[andwhatisthis]

Fucking hell.

You got hired?

[allaboveboard]

Got it. You know, you people have got huge salaries. Almost takes away from the indignity of a steady job.

[andwhatisthis]

Yeah, but--

Why'd you get hired?

[allaboveboard]

On account of my good looks.

I don't know, ask your boss. I can shoot things? Shooting things is usually useful skill, in my personal experience.

[andwhatisthis]

...You know, 's a real pity they outlawed duels here. I can shoot things too. And yeah, it's real useful.

Or I could just rearrange your good looks for you. Y'know. Keep it simple.

[allaboveboard]

Bit rude, aren't you?

[andwhatisthis]

Hah, go on, you should talk.

You fucking stole his handheld.

[allaboveboard]

Borrowed! Gave it back when he came by. It's not like I laid him out in an alleyway.

Anyway, from some people's point of view you could say he turned around and kidnapped me.

[andwhatisthis]

After scarin' the hell outta me.

And good for him, then.

...Is Hayes at headquarters now?

[allaboveboard]

I don't usually take overprotective lovers into account, see. Apologies, really.

Very sympathetic, you are.

Far as I know. Go on and check he's in best of health, if you're worried. Hah.

[andwhatisthis]

Huh. Shockin', that.

Of course I'm sympathetic. Terribly. Extremely. You stole his handheld and fucking impersonated him.

No, I 'spect he can take care of himself. Usually. Sometimes. Dammit.

[allaboveboard]

Oh, go on, it was funny. And I didn't even make myself privy to any of your sordid secrets.

Well, bit of a turn around, that. I drop a few words in his name and you want to carve my face off, but he can take care of himself. I like you.

[andwhatisthis]

That's cuz I noticed you wasn't Hayes in plenty of time.

That's cuz I'm his boyfriend. 's a thing.

[allaboveboard]

Right, right, give the boy a medal. Anyway, like I said, so no harm done.

If you say so. Superior authority on the subject, and all that. You're still funny.