Sigh
Wow,
Today was my official last day of work...you'd think that would be relieving (and in a way it is), but it just makes leaving seem so real now. Part of me is excited and ready to leave, and then there is the other part of me that can's stand the thought of leaving my home. I'm afraid I might fail...yeah I know I sound super worried and its probably for nothing. I'm making this a huge deal...it's just something new. I feel like i have these huge expectations to meet. I don't think parents understand the pressure of comments... I have the hardest time trying to please everyone but me. And I know I have to do this for myself, my expectations. Easier said than done. I really do want this...I just can't stand the comments. I feel like I'm going to shatter the moment I hear just one more damn comment.
Friends are another issue. We all used to be one group, now we've managed to separate ourselves into different groups. Very different groups. I love my friends... there a huge part of who I am, and now we're all heading in different directions. Not that I want to head in their directions right now anyway, some of my friends are making some pretty rash decisions. I love em, but sometimes I don't know what their thinking. I'm sad I'm leaving...I wish summer would stay forever.
Today was my official last day of work...you'd think that would be relieving (and in a way it is), but it just makes leaving seem so real now. Part of me is excited and ready to leave, and then there is the other part of me that can's stand the thought of leaving my home. I'm afraid I might fail...yeah I know I sound super worried and its probably for nothing. I'm making this a huge deal...it's just something new. I feel like i have these huge expectations to meet. I don't think parents understand the pressure of comments... I have the hardest time trying to please everyone but me. And I know I have to do this for myself, my expectations. Easier said than done. I really do want this...I just can't stand the comments. I feel like I'm going to shatter the moment I hear just one more damn comment.
Friends are another issue. We all used to be one group, now we've managed to separate ourselves into different groups. Very different groups. I love my friends... there a huge part of who I am, and now we're all heading in different directions. Not that I want to head in their directions right now anyway, some of my friends are making some pretty rash decisions. I love em, but sometimes I don't know what their thinking. I'm sad I'm leaving...I wish summer would stay forever.