tomorrow is a new beginning
Yes, I am probably wrong. But none of your opinions are going to change my mind. If that means you do not ever talk to me again then so be it. Shows who true friends are. It isn't like he is doing drugs, or abusing me, I never caught him actually cheating on me.
I've told my Mom everything and her answer is basically "He is wrong for doing those things but that still does not mean in the end he wont pick you. Its in a guys nature to flirt with other girls, to look at a real pretty girl when she walks by but that does not make him love you any less. Dont you check out a real good looking guy when he walks by? Im sure you talk to boys online and slip stuff out that you shouldn't that would make Matt very mad. Its part of a relationship, not every relationship because not every relationship is the same. Its about learning how to fall and get back up with one another, finding new feelings for one another, finding out what it is that keeps you coming back. It does not matter what your friends think Katie, anything thats going wrong with you and the person your with and you tell your good friends about it, they are going to take it another way, in a defensive way because they care. And you may make it sound worse then it was because your upset and in the heat of the moment are making it sounds like a sneeze was a slap in the face, but later on when you calm down you feel like an idiot because you didnt mean to make it sound that bad and now you you look like a fool either way. A friend will always be there Kate, you have been there for them (and then she recalled sometimes growing up that I really had no idea how even she remembered).
And she was completely right.
No me and Matt are not back together. We are not official. But we are friends and working it out slowly this time. I did something that I shouldn't have. But ya know what, when me and Matt met I was very lonely. Many friends of mine were not around because they were doing drugs or moved on with their lives with college and such. My mom was always drunk and my brother was not living at home at the time. So home was very lonely. So yeah, I found a guy that was funny, good looking, reliable and successful. I took advantage, I was having fun and yeah i guess you can say I moved in. The past 3 months with him have been rough and getting a little worse everytime. Why havnt I left him yet? Because I have thought about what it was like growing up. Daddy left before I was born, Mommy was gone the first ten years of my life in and out of hospitals with her son that had cancer. After all that was finished up my mom was single and still is. Oldest brother didnt find his wife until he was 30. Sister drank and layed in bed all day because of depression. Now she is with some guy that wont marry her and has two of his kids; shes unhappy. I dont want what I had growing up, or what I come from. I dont want to end up alone like my mom, or dad, or my cousin vanessa, or be sad like my sister, I want to be smarter then that.
Yeah I know I have to get over this. Some people cant afford therapist though, some people dont have money to take away their pain and worries. So leave me alone okay? Ive never gone through this before. I can get over something that had my heart for 11 months in 11 hours. Just because some of you ahve been through it an dknow wht to do doesnt mean I am goign to listen. Everyone thinks its always different with them andthats how I feel. I'll learn the hard way but don't threaten me. Don't put a friendship online. And My situation isn't different. They did fucked up shit to you and you went back. He did some fucked up shit to me and I am going back. Its not like I am talking shit about you, or hurting you.
I gotta go to work.
I've told my Mom everything and her answer is basically "He is wrong for doing those things but that still does not mean in the end he wont pick you. Its in a guys nature to flirt with other girls, to look at a real pretty girl when she walks by but that does not make him love you any less. Dont you check out a real good looking guy when he walks by? Im sure you talk to boys online and slip stuff out that you shouldn't that would make Matt very mad. Its part of a relationship, not every relationship because not every relationship is the same. Its about learning how to fall and get back up with one another, finding new feelings for one another, finding out what it is that keeps you coming back. It does not matter what your friends think Katie, anything thats going wrong with you and the person your with and you tell your good friends about it, they are going to take it another way, in a defensive way because they care. And you may make it sound worse then it was because your upset and in the heat of the moment are making it sounds like a sneeze was a slap in the face, but later on when you calm down you feel like an idiot because you didnt mean to make it sound that bad and now you you look like a fool either way. A friend will always be there Kate, you have been there for them (and then she recalled sometimes growing up that I really had no idea how even she remembered).
And she was completely right.
No me and Matt are not back together. We are not official. But we are friends and working it out slowly this time. I did something that I shouldn't have. But ya know what, when me and Matt met I was very lonely. Many friends of mine were not around because they were doing drugs or moved on with their lives with college and such. My mom was always drunk and my brother was not living at home at the time. So home was very lonely. So yeah, I found a guy that was funny, good looking, reliable and successful. I took advantage, I was having fun and yeah i guess you can say I moved in. The past 3 months with him have been rough and getting a little worse everytime. Why havnt I left him yet? Because I have thought about what it was like growing up. Daddy left before I was born, Mommy was gone the first ten years of my life in and out of hospitals with her son that had cancer. After all that was finished up my mom was single and still is. Oldest brother didnt find his wife until he was 30. Sister drank and layed in bed all day because of depression. Now she is with some guy that wont marry her and has two of his kids; shes unhappy. I dont want what I had growing up, or what I come from. I dont want to end up alone like my mom, or dad, or my cousin vanessa, or be sad like my sister, I want to be smarter then that.
Yeah I know I have to get over this. Some people cant afford therapist though, some people dont have money to take away their pain and worries. So leave me alone okay? Ive never gone through this before. I can get over something that had my heart for 11 months in 11 hours. Just because some of you ahve been through it an dknow wht to do doesnt mean I am goign to listen. Everyone thinks its always different with them andthats how I feel. I'll learn the hard way but don't threaten me. Don't put a friendship online. And My situation isn't different. They did fucked up shit to you and you went back. He did some fucked up shit to me and I am going back. Its not like I am talking shit about you, or hurting you.
I gotta go to work.