(no subject)
I leave for Hawaii in about 15 minutes.
I broke up with the love of my life last night because he called me drunk at 5 in the morning. I can't do this anymore. I can't. I told him either he quits drinking for good, (and smoking bud) or we break up. Ofcourse he's not going to give up drinking and smoking for me. It's better this way though, cause he'll enjoy his years so much more. Without me. It's better this way. He'll soon realize if he hasn't already. The amazing this is, I haven't cried. I just stayed up all night and morning, thinking about things. The first thing I decided is, I'm not going to date anybody. No. Not for a long time. I can't even imagine being with anybody else. So, unless a Chris O'Donnell look-alike in his 20's comes pursuing me hardcore and swears up and down that he is allergic to marijuana and excess alcohol AND that he is in love with me and will never make me cry, I'm going to redo my life independently. Probably rethink college, because one very big reason for going to ASU was to stay closer to him longer. I'm really wishing east coast. Two years ago, I saw a palm reader in New York. Not only was she persistent and right about a lot of things, she also told me I would make a big decision in July. Well that summer, July came and nothing happened. But, I'm naive and believe these sort of things, so the first thing I realized after that dreadful phone call, it's July 1st.
There's not a bit of me that isn't wishing he would just quit his ways for me, but it's such wishful thinking. Sometimes, you don't get what you want in life. Sometimes, you have to give up love for the sake of our individual well being. All I know, is he loves me and I love him. That's never going to change.
That's all that matters..
And to Hawaii I go.
I broke up with the love of my life last night because he called me drunk at 5 in the morning. I can't do this anymore. I can't. I told him either he quits drinking for good, (and smoking bud) or we break up. Ofcourse he's not going to give up drinking and smoking for me. It's better this way though, cause he'll enjoy his years so much more. Without me. It's better this way. He'll soon realize if he hasn't already. The amazing this is, I haven't cried. I just stayed up all night and morning, thinking about things. The first thing I decided is, I'm not going to date anybody. No. Not for a long time. I can't even imagine being with anybody else. So, unless a Chris O'Donnell look-alike in his 20's comes pursuing me hardcore and swears up and down that he is allergic to marijuana and excess alcohol AND that he is in love with me and will never make me cry, I'm going to redo my life independently. Probably rethink college, because one very big reason for going to ASU was to stay closer to him longer. I'm really wishing east coast. Two years ago, I saw a palm reader in New York. Not only was she persistent and right about a lot of things, she also told me I would make a big decision in July. Well that summer, July came and nothing happened. But, I'm naive and believe these sort of things, so the first thing I realized after that dreadful phone call, it's July 1st.
There's not a bit of me that isn't wishing he would just quit his ways for me, but it's such wishful thinking. Sometimes, you don't get what you want in life. Sometimes, you have to give up love for the sake of our individual well being. All I know, is he loves me and I love him. That's never going to change.
That's all that matters..
And to Hawaii I go.