(no subject)
I am about to face one of the greatest trials before me in this strange land. It isn't the spirit-binder holding my children, or the mantid, or any one of a number of new and unknown threats looming in the shadows.
No, I need to share the same space as someone I absolutely loathe while not falling prey to the spirits that feed on such feelings.
The plan is the latest in the long line of gambits to get information that might help us get the children back. I previously sought out the aid of a spirit walker, who told us the children were not in the spirit world. (Pook was thankfully there with us, but stomped off after an emotional episode I couldn't even begin to quell. She didn't give me the chance.) With the knowledge that they're most likely alive, I started seeking out former pandaren slaves, on the thought that they were likely to have noticed children of Daltrien and Isha's description if they'd seen them at all. I've heard bits about their capture, but little I didn't already know; I've yet to find anything more recent. Pook, in the meantime, has apparently been working with the Zephyr Crew to find clues of their own, and they've found some trolls that might have information. Since I said I wasn't eager to torture another troll, they've apparently come up with another method.
Strike that. Bloodaxe has come up with another method. I have been told that while I can be present, I am there as an observer only. I am going purely to hear whatever information they get, and if it's solid, perhaps be able to give my input on that. Considering the participants, however, I doubt very much this is going to be productive past the information gathering. I've already promised Seb I'll leave the instant I feel like the Sha might be taking me... not that I know what that feels like.
Of course, Pook being there just complicates matters further. When did I lose the ability to speak with her at all? Have I just forgotten the arguments we used to have like this? Surely it wasn't this bad. Emotions are running high right now but, gods, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Every time I do anything it's the wrong response for her. The slightest turn of phrase tips her off, and so I try to be careful around her, but gods, maybe that's tipping her too, I don't know. At some point I truly need to sit her down and speak with her, try to get an even keel for us both. We can't do anything together if this continues.
Gods, and I'll be leaving Seb behind again. She's worrying me more and more. She's had to call for the village healer to tend to her... our son, Kele, has grown too large for her and it's starting to affect her lungs if he's in the wrong place. I had to carry her up the stairs last night. She's putting on a brave face, but I know she's afraid she might not live through this, and I'd be lying if I said I don't carry the same fear. So much could come tumbling down. If she dies when I'm not there, I'll never forgive myself, but she's right when she says I'd feel the same if something happened to the children while I was at her side. It's a fight I cannot win, either way. All I can do is hope I'm doing the right thing.
Still, I hope this interrogation business isn't tonight. Seb celebrates the Day of the Dead as a very solemn occasion, and she has a great deal of departed loved ones to honor. I assured her that the spirits of the spirit world can find her no matter where she is, but that's small comfort if I cannot be there for her as well. Even if, by some misfortune, I'm told tonight's the night, I hope I can get back in time to help her.
I haven't forgotten that it was a year ago tonight we shared our first kiss in that room in Dalaran. I should do something for her tonight, no matter what comes.
An'she, may your golden light keep the black hatred at bay long enough.
No, I need to share the same space as someone I absolutely loathe while not falling prey to the spirits that feed on such feelings.
The plan is the latest in the long line of gambits to get information that might help us get the children back. I previously sought out the aid of a spirit walker, who told us the children were not in the spirit world. (Pook was thankfully there with us, but stomped off after an emotional episode I couldn't even begin to quell. She didn't give me the chance.) With the knowledge that they're most likely alive, I started seeking out former pandaren slaves, on the thought that they were likely to have noticed children of Daltrien and Isha's description if they'd seen them at all. I've heard bits about their capture, but little I didn't already know; I've yet to find anything more recent. Pook, in the meantime, has apparently been working with the Zephyr Crew to find clues of their own, and they've found some trolls that might have information. Since I said I wasn't eager to torture another troll, they've apparently come up with another method.
Strike that. Bloodaxe has come up with another method. I have been told that while I can be present, I am there as an observer only. I am going purely to hear whatever information they get, and if it's solid, perhaps be able to give my input on that. Considering the participants, however, I doubt very much this is going to be productive past the information gathering. I've already promised Seb I'll leave the instant I feel like the Sha might be taking me... not that I know what that feels like.
Of course, Pook being there just complicates matters further. When did I lose the ability to speak with her at all? Have I just forgotten the arguments we used to have like this? Surely it wasn't this bad. Emotions are running high right now but, gods, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Every time I do anything it's the wrong response for her. The slightest turn of phrase tips her off, and so I try to be careful around her, but gods, maybe that's tipping her too, I don't know. At some point I truly need to sit her down and speak with her, try to get an even keel for us both. We can't do anything together if this continues.
Gods, and I'll be leaving Seb behind again. She's worrying me more and more. She's had to call for the village healer to tend to her... our son, Kele, has grown too large for her and it's starting to affect her lungs if he's in the wrong place. I had to carry her up the stairs last night. She's putting on a brave face, but I know she's afraid she might not live through this, and I'd be lying if I said I don't carry the same fear. So much could come tumbling down. If she dies when I'm not there, I'll never forgive myself, but she's right when she says I'd feel the same if something happened to the children while I was at her side. It's a fight I cannot win, either way. All I can do is hope I'm doing the right thing.
Still, I hope this interrogation business isn't tonight. Seb celebrates the Day of the Dead as a very solemn occasion, and she has a great deal of departed loved ones to honor. I assured her that the spirits of the spirit world can find her no matter where she is, but that's small comfort if I cannot be there for her as well. Even if, by some misfortune, I'm told tonight's the night, I hope I can get back in time to help her.
I haven't forgotten that it was a year ago tonight we shared our first kiss in that room in Dalaran. I should do something for her tonight, no matter what comes.
An'she, may your golden light keep the black hatred at bay long enough.