(no subject)
I want to paint. I want to do everything I've spent so much time trying to not do. I think it's finally time to be a different person. Time to make sense of all of this and give it a purpose. Someone help me become better at art so I can go into fine arts.
I've made up my mind that I am definitely leaving the city by next August. I'm so stressed from everything here. I'm trying to make everyone feel better. Trying to make things so much easier on everyone else and trying to not be a burden. Every decision I make affects people in ways that I just never really thought possible. It's funny how you don't realize these things until it's too late and things have been said and done and now you have to live with them. I opened up a new bank account today so I could actually put some money away so it would be possible for me to move and do what I want to do.
It's time to be shallow and wallow in my own well being now. No real reason to worry about anyone as no matter what I do everyone I love will be mad anyway. So if they're going to be mad, I might as well do something I want to if ti will affect them in the same way anyway.
I really wish everyone could just leave me alone and let me make my own decisions regardless of the affect on them. And, regardless of how bad it hurts either one of us. I just want SOMETHING to go my way. Just once.
I've made up my mind that I am definitely leaving the city by next August. I'm so stressed from everything here. I'm trying to make everyone feel better. Trying to make things so much easier on everyone else and trying to not be a burden. Every decision I make affects people in ways that I just never really thought possible. It's funny how you don't realize these things until it's too late and things have been said and done and now you have to live with them. I opened up a new bank account today so I could actually put some money away so it would be possible for me to move and do what I want to do.
It's time to be shallow and wallow in my own well being now. No real reason to worry about anyone as no matter what I do everyone I love will be mad anyway. So if they're going to be mad, I might as well do something I want to if ti will affect them in the same way anyway.
I really wish everyone could just leave me alone and let me make my own decisions regardless of the affect on them. And, regardless of how bad it hurts either one of us. I just want SOMETHING to go my way. Just once.