This is crack for yes_peacocks cause Luci asked for it.
"Narcissa!" Lucius' eye widened in horror at the sound of his voice. "This is absurd! Undo it right now!"
"I'm afraid not. There is no 'undoing' it husband. The spell will simply wear off after twelve hours. You are my husband, she is my sister and I am 8 months pregnant. Perhaps this will motivate the two of you to get along if not for my sake, then for your own."
"Cissy..."
"Don't 'Cissy' me Andi. I am fat, and tired and not in the mood to listen to any more bickering. I am going to lie down for a bit. Either work it out or fight to the death." She cast a look over her shoulder at Lucius. "Whatever you do husband do not come to my bed looking like that. 'Blackcest' be damned, there are some things even I won't tolerate." Narcissa swept gracefully, (as gracefully as any 8 month pregnant woman could) from he room leaving her husband and sister to stare at one another in shock.
"You did this! You caused this disharmony in my home! Always pushing, always difficult! Always Andromeda!"
"Me? This is my fault? I was having a pleasant visit with my extremely pregnant, hormonal and emotional sister when you came storming in pitching a fit. You know when I am attacked I defend myself Lucius, or have you forgotten?"
"I merely pointed out that having a blood traitor in the house was probably not going to do our family's reputation any favors." Lucius' sneer was less effective now that he was doing it with full lips tinted with a hint of 'Blessed Berry' lipstick and warm brown eyes rather than icy blue.
"At least now I understand what the attraction is with this cane." Andromeda lifted the cane. "Because in the last two minutes I have thought of at least nine places I would like to shove this thing."
Lucius lifted a sculpted brow. "Really sister dear, there is no call for violence. You heard Narcissa, all we need do is wait 12 hours and the spell will lift by itself. Now, if you excuse me I have paperwork to attend to." He waited with hands on his hips for Andromeda to take her leave. When she showed no signs of doing so, he sighed. "What?"
"If you think I'm going to leave you alone to do with my body for twelve hours as you please, you have lost your mind."
"Really Andromeda! There's no call to be vulgar! What do you think I'm going to do...?" He held up a hand. "On second thought, don't answer that. I assure you I have no plans more sinister than paperwork."
"Then I'll sit here and read while you work."
"You are being childish."
"You should be admiring my restraint." Andi's speech patterns sounded odd coming from Lucius' mouth with his deep voice. "Because so long as I am here with you then I'm not out with your body getting a 'Hello Kitty' tattoo right over your Dark Mark."
Lucius opened and closed his - no, Andi's mouth with a clack of teeth. He turned away and summoned Dobby, placing a request for an outlandish feast of every fattening food he could think of. When he turned back to Andi there was a smug little smirk on her face.
"And I'm the one being childish! I swear Lucius if I gain so much as a single pound..."
"You'll what?" And for the first time in his life, Lucius realized just how frightening his most vile sneer could be.
"Ever hear of a 'Prince Albert'?"
"You..."
"Play nicely and I will too."
"There is no chance you'll change your mind and just go home is there?"
"I am not going home to Ted looking like this!" Andi removed the jacket of Lucius' suit and proceeded to roll up the white shirtsleeves.
"Oh? Afraid he'll enjoy it?"
"That's it! I'm going to braid your hair, put ribbons in it and take pictures!"
"Leave my hair alone Andromeda!"
"Make me!"
Outside the library Narcissa braced herself with a hand against the wall laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face. Best April Fool's Day ever.
"I'm afraid not. There is no 'undoing' it husband. The spell will simply wear off after twelve hours. You are my husband, she is my sister and I am 8 months pregnant. Perhaps this will motivate the two of you to get along if not for my sake, then for your own."
"Cissy..."
"Don't 'Cissy' me Andi. I am fat, and tired and not in the mood to listen to any more bickering. I am going to lie down for a bit. Either work it out or fight to the death." She cast a look over her shoulder at Lucius. "Whatever you do husband do not come to my bed looking like that. 'Blackcest' be damned, there are some things even I won't tolerate." Narcissa swept gracefully, (as gracefully as any 8 month pregnant woman could) from he room leaving her husband and sister to stare at one another in shock.
"You did this! You caused this disharmony in my home! Always pushing, always difficult! Always Andromeda!"
"Me? This is my fault? I was having a pleasant visit with my extremely pregnant, hormonal and emotional sister when you came storming in pitching a fit. You know when I am attacked I defend myself Lucius, or have you forgotten?"
"I merely pointed out that having a blood traitor in the house was probably not going to do our family's reputation any favors." Lucius' sneer was less effective now that he was doing it with full lips tinted with a hint of 'Blessed Berry' lipstick and warm brown eyes rather than icy blue.
"At least now I understand what the attraction is with this cane." Andromeda lifted the cane. "Because in the last two minutes I have thought of at least nine places I would like to shove this thing."
Lucius lifted a sculpted brow. "Really sister dear, there is no call for violence. You heard Narcissa, all we need do is wait 12 hours and the spell will lift by itself. Now, if you excuse me I have paperwork to attend to." He waited with hands on his hips for Andromeda to take her leave. When she showed no signs of doing so, he sighed. "What?"
"If you think I'm going to leave you alone to do with my body for twelve hours as you please, you have lost your mind."
"Really Andromeda! There's no call to be vulgar! What do you think I'm going to do...?" He held up a hand. "On second thought, don't answer that. I assure you I have no plans more sinister than paperwork."
"Then I'll sit here and read while you work."
"You are being childish."
"You should be admiring my restraint." Andi's speech patterns sounded odd coming from Lucius' mouth with his deep voice. "Because so long as I am here with you then I'm not out with your body getting a 'Hello Kitty' tattoo right over your Dark Mark."
Lucius opened and closed his - no, Andi's mouth with a clack of teeth. He turned away and summoned Dobby, placing a request for an outlandish feast of every fattening food he could think of. When he turned back to Andi there was a smug little smirk on her face.
"And I'm the one being childish! I swear Lucius if I gain so much as a single pound..."
"You'll what?" And for the first time in his life, Lucius realized just how frightening his most vile sneer could be.
"Ever hear of a 'Prince Albert'?"
"You..."
"Play nicely and I will too."
"There is no chance you'll change your mind and just go home is there?"
"I am not going home to Ted looking like this!" Andi removed the jacket of Lucius' suit and proceeded to roll up the white shirtsleeves.
"Oh? Afraid he'll enjoy it?"
"That's it! I'm going to braid your hair, put ribbons in it and take pictures!"
"Leave my hair alone Andromeda!"
"Make me!"
Outside the library Narcissa braced herself with a hand against the wall laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face. Best April Fool's Day ever.