Sex Toys - For muse_erotica - Cut for sex, drugs and doggies
"Pulse and Cocktails?" Mark looked at the clipboard that the delivery man carried, and called out to Alexa, who was coming in from the bedroom.
"I didn't order anything." She walked up to peer around her husband.
The private delivery service man looked at her, and spoke in heavily accented Spanish. He asked if she was Senora Carter, and when she nodded, he handed her a small package from his zippered pouch, and then wheeled in two more large boxes. Mark tipped the guy, as Alexa sat down to open the smallest package. When she got past all the seals and opened the plastic, the scent that reached her nostrils was far too obvious, even from memory of a time long past. Laughing, she read the note out loud. "Dear Alexa and Mark, I figured that you two needed some fun, and to get wild. You don't want to turn into one of those boring old couples, now do you?"
"Is that what I think it is?" Mark hauled one of the boxes over, and sliced it open with his knife.
"Pot? Yes. Oh, and a pipe." Alexa knew that Mark didn't like pot. It didn't sit well with him, for some reason. The man could drink an ocean of booze, but not smoke a joint. Go figure.
"Babe? I think this Pulse and Cocktails place is a sex toy shop." He held up a slim box that said 'Pocket Rocket' on it.
Alexa came over and dug through the boxes. "Honey, there's a Hello Kitty vibrator in here. Oh, my god..." She held up a large plastic dog. "It's a sex doll for dogs. She sent it for Scipio. Oh, while I'm thinking about it, we need to take him into town this week and get him fixed."
Mark looked up from the box he was digging in, and stared at her, as his dog stuck close to his master, though he was intrigued by the silicone bitch. "What?"
"He's knocked up every female dog in the area, baby."
"So?" Mark petted Scipio's golden head.
"He humps everything. I caught him humping Pepe the other day." She held up some octopi butt plug vibrators. "These...are just wrong."
Mark shook his head at the pastel pink octopus. "You can't be mad at him for being bi. I'm bi. Would you have some butcher whack my willie?"
"Don't be silly. That's my toy. But the mutt is different." She raised her head up out of the box. "Baby, do you know how we can hang a swing and mount a stripper pole in the bedroom? Oh, and fixed dogs live longer and they are healthier."
"No, Alexa. Now, I'm the man here, and I hate to have to take a stand this way, but I'm putting my foot down. Scipio is not getting fixed. Living longer is not an argument that will help with me." He picked up his drink, and sipped, as Scipio went over to sniff out his new sex toy.
She got up and eyed her husband with a great deal of amusement. "Oh...really? You're putting your foot down?"
"I'm putting my foot down." He sprawled out on the couch, quite manly and macho, in the midst of the boxes and packing peanuts. "My dog. My rules."
Alexa sat down on the chair opposite him, as the dog looked from one to the other. "Well, then, I guess that's that." She lit up a bowl of the very good pot in the pipe, and took a long drag off of it.
Mark looked very nervous. Usually, she didn't give in this easily, especially not when he asserted the man card. That was far more disturbing than her arguing with him.
The dog, for his part, grabbed the big tag on the fake bitch and dragged it off to the mud room for a bit of alone time and product testing. Might as well use it while you got it.
"I didn't order anything." She walked up to peer around her husband.
The private delivery service man looked at her, and spoke in heavily accented Spanish. He asked if she was Senora Carter, and when she nodded, he handed her a small package from his zippered pouch, and then wheeled in two more large boxes. Mark tipped the guy, as Alexa sat down to open the smallest package. When she got past all the seals and opened the plastic, the scent that reached her nostrils was far too obvious, even from memory of a time long past. Laughing, she read the note out loud. "Dear Alexa and Mark, I figured that you two needed some fun, and to get wild. You don't want to turn into one of those boring old couples, now do you?"
"Is that what I think it is?" Mark hauled one of the boxes over, and sliced it open with his knife.
"Pot? Yes. Oh, and a pipe." Alexa knew that Mark didn't like pot. It didn't sit well with him, for some reason. The man could drink an ocean of booze, but not smoke a joint. Go figure.
"Babe? I think this Pulse and Cocktails place is a sex toy shop." He held up a slim box that said 'Pocket Rocket' on it.
Alexa came over and dug through the boxes. "Honey, there's a Hello Kitty vibrator in here. Oh, my god..." She held up a large plastic dog. "It's a sex doll for dogs. She sent it for Scipio. Oh, while I'm thinking about it, we need to take him into town this week and get him fixed."
Mark looked up from the box he was digging in, and stared at her, as his dog stuck close to his master, though he was intrigued by the silicone bitch. "What?"
"He's knocked up every female dog in the area, baby."
"So?" Mark petted Scipio's golden head.
"He humps everything. I caught him humping Pepe the other day." She held up some octopi butt plug vibrators. "These...are just wrong."
Mark shook his head at the pastel pink octopus. "You can't be mad at him for being bi. I'm bi. Would you have some butcher whack my willie?"
"Don't be silly. That's my toy. But the mutt is different." She raised her head up out of the box. "Baby, do you know how we can hang a swing and mount a stripper pole in the bedroom? Oh, and fixed dogs live longer and they are healthier."
"No, Alexa. Now, I'm the man here, and I hate to have to take a stand this way, but I'm putting my foot down. Scipio is not getting fixed. Living longer is not an argument that will help with me." He picked up his drink, and sipped, as Scipio went over to sniff out his new sex toy.
She got up and eyed her husband with a great deal of amusement. "Oh...really? You're putting your foot down?"
"I'm putting my foot down." He sprawled out on the couch, quite manly and macho, in the midst of the boxes and packing peanuts. "My dog. My rules."
Alexa sat down on the chair opposite him, as the dog looked from one to the other. "Well, then, I guess that's that." She lit up a bowl of the very good pot in the pipe, and took a long drag off of it.
Mark looked very nervous. Usually, she didn't give in this easily, especially not when he asserted the man card. That was far more disturbing than her arguing with him.
The dog, for his part, grabbed the big tag on the fake bitch and dragged it off to the mud room for a bit of alone time and product testing. Might as well use it while you got it.