Men Must Call, Or Someone Pays - For Our Magic Place
If a man says he’ll phone, HE MUST DO SO OR BURN IN THE PUTRID FIERY HELL OF SATAN’S ARSE. (Unknown Woman)
"We went out, for four dates. They were fantastic. I mean really, really good dates, you know?" Chela sipped a glass of water, dabbing her eyes with Kleenex, reclining on the lounge chair beside Alexa's. "The last one? We almost...you know. I was sure that number five would be it." Her voice was full of outrage, and hurt. "He said he would call the next day, Senora. But no call."
Mira sat on Alexa's lounge chair, drinking wine, and shaking her head. "Men are rats. Worse. Men are fleas on rats."
"Isn't that from Grease?" Alexa raised her hand to shield her eyes, as she looked at her friend. "You're giving a brokenhearted teenager advice you stole off of a movie?"
"It's not advice. It's a comforting platitude." Mira shrugged her elegant shoulders, and sipped.
"Senora, what is wrong with me?" The teenaged girl wailed in that adolescent misery that all women knew.
"Oh, Chela, it's not you." Alexa moved next to her, to hug her shaking body.
"How do you know?" More Kleenex was handed to her, because her nose was really running.
"Because it's never us. It's always them." Mira may have had too much wine. Maybe.
"Really?"
"Yah...really."
Alexa sighed, and nodded.
"But Senor Mark, he is so handsome, and so clever. He is so sweet, and he loves you." Chela was of the opinion that Mark walked on water, and worshipped him as the symbol of perfect masculinity.
"Well, yes. He's wonderful." Alexa began, rubbing her shoulders.
"But he didn't come out of the box like that." Mira got up and got more sangria, and Alexa nodded, even as she eyed her old friend. "Men are a lump. Of clay. Wet, stupid clay. It's up to us to shape them into something useful, or at least decorative."
"But Senor Mark, he is so handsome." Chela was really crushing on him, and it was cute.
"Yes...he's very cute." Alexa grinned, and took a drink.
Mira smirked, shaking her head. "He's great. But he's still a man. Men are pigs."
"I thought you said men were rats?" Chela blew her nose.
"They're both. That's not the point. That boy, the one who didn't call? He is a part of the man species. Every time one of them violates a promise to call, another one has to suffer." Mira made some kind of drunken symbol with her fingers in the direction of her breast.
"Hey, babe." Mark came out on the patio, "Ladies." Three pairs of hostile female eyes were trained on him, which made him frown, confused. "Princess...I'm going in to town to get some beer for the game. You need anything?"
"No. Thank you." Alexa shook her head, and Mark walked off to the garage to get his bike. Mira looked at Alexa, as Mark roared off. The trip into town would only take a few minutes, with a stop at the local market.
"Do you think Senor Mark would beat up Rico?" Chela looked hopeful.
"Probably not, unless he did something worse than this. Men don't understand the cosmic law of not calling." Alexa hugged Chela's shoulders, comfortingly.
"But someone has to pay, or the zen balance of the sexes will be off balance." Mira lit a cigarette, and pointed it at Alexa. "The universe could implode. A man must pay for this injustice."
Alexa rolled her eyes, and pulled her cellphone out of her shorts pocket. When Mark's voice mail picked up, she sweetly left him a message. "Honey...I'm sorry I forgot. Could you pick me up some tampons at the store? Thank you, baby." She snapped it shut, and pulled a face at Mira.
"There, you see? The cosmic balance of the universe is back to it's creamy goodness." Mira intoned the wisdom seriously to the wide eyed teen. "Someone had to pay."
"No more wine for you." Alexa got up and took the goblet out of Mira's hand on her way into the house. "Cosmic balance, my ass."
"We went out, for four dates. They were fantastic. I mean really, really good dates, you know?" Chela sipped a glass of water, dabbing her eyes with Kleenex, reclining on the lounge chair beside Alexa's. "The last one? We almost...you know. I was sure that number five would be it." Her voice was full of outrage, and hurt. "He said he would call the next day, Senora. But no call."
Mira sat on Alexa's lounge chair, drinking wine, and shaking her head. "Men are rats. Worse. Men are fleas on rats."
"Isn't that from Grease?" Alexa raised her hand to shield her eyes, as she looked at her friend. "You're giving a brokenhearted teenager advice you stole off of a movie?"
"It's not advice. It's a comforting platitude." Mira shrugged her elegant shoulders, and sipped.
"Senora, what is wrong with me?" The teenaged girl wailed in that adolescent misery that all women knew.
"Oh, Chela, it's not you." Alexa moved next to her, to hug her shaking body.
"How do you know?" More Kleenex was handed to her, because her nose was really running.
"Because it's never us. It's always them." Mira may have had too much wine. Maybe.
"Really?"
"Yah...really."
Alexa sighed, and nodded.
"But Senor Mark, he is so handsome, and so clever. He is so sweet, and he loves you." Chela was of the opinion that Mark walked on water, and worshipped him as the symbol of perfect masculinity.
"Well, yes. He's wonderful." Alexa began, rubbing her shoulders.
"But he didn't come out of the box like that." Mira got up and got more sangria, and Alexa nodded, even as she eyed her old friend. "Men are a lump. Of clay. Wet, stupid clay. It's up to us to shape them into something useful, or at least decorative."
"But Senor Mark, he is so handsome." Chela was really crushing on him, and it was cute.
"Yes...he's very cute." Alexa grinned, and took a drink.
Mira smirked, shaking her head. "He's great. But he's still a man. Men are pigs."
"I thought you said men were rats?" Chela blew her nose.
"They're both. That's not the point. That boy, the one who didn't call? He is a part of the man species. Every time one of them violates a promise to call, another one has to suffer." Mira made some kind of drunken symbol with her fingers in the direction of her breast.
"Hey, babe." Mark came out on the patio, "Ladies." Three pairs of hostile female eyes were trained on him, which made him frown, confused. "Princess...I'm going in to town to get some beer for the game. You need anything?"
"No. Thank you." Alexa shook her head, and Mark walked off to the garage to get his bike. Mira looked at Alexa, as Mark roared off. The trip into town would only take a few minutes, with a stop at the local market.
"Do you think Senor Mark would beat up Rico?" Chela looked hopeful.
"Probably not, unless he did something worse than this. Men don't understand the cosmic law of not calling." Alexa hugged Chela's shoulders, comfortingly.
"But someone has to pay, or the zen balance of the sexes will be off balance." Mira lit a cigarette, and pointed it at Alexa. "The universe could implode. A man must pay for this injustice."
Alexa rolled her eyes, and pulled her cellphone out of her shorts pocket. When Mark's voice mail picked up, she sweetly left him a message. "Honey...I'm sorry I forgot. Could you pick me up some tampons at the store? Thank you, baby." She snapped it shut, and pulled a face at Mira.
"There, you see? The cosmic balance of the universe is back to it's creamy goodness." Mira intoned the wisdom seriously to the wide eyed teen. "Someone had to pay."
"No more wine for you." Alexa got up and took the goblet out of Mira's hand on her way into the house. "Cosmic balance, my ass."