churning
i ran into vic s and marc at A&P, a few minutes ago. Marc had a faux-hawk and it looked awesome. they were both dressed very urban outfitters. i was surprised to be happy to see them.
they told me that a lot of people from spcss were going to mcmaster this year. julie, seb, kiel.. and they didn't finish naming them all.
my stomach is churning and i've been feeling restless ever since. i can't say i feel disturbed, but i don't feel happy about this.
i know they're not in science, and even if they were, it shoudln't even affect me. but i keep having flashbacks to all the times i was reassured by the words that i'd never see these people after high school, that we were all going to take different paths.
and there were many times like that.
in the rare instances where i decide to look at this with some maturity, i can admit that i don't mind all those people as much as i used to. and that i could even imagine becoming friends with julie again. i could even say that all this time i've always felt like she was a friend, albeit a very misguided and distant one.
i don't like this feeling.
it's that i resent them for deciding to come to mac.. but it's almost like
i feel like
they don't deserve to be where i am.
i'm an idiot.
that's what the feeling is.
it's not that it's even a negative feeling. maybe that was a poor description of it. i just feel funny in the pit of my stomach. my stomach feels hot.
whatever. i'm being immature.
i'm going to email julie and see if she wants to take my forsyth place.
i hope i reconnect with her.
they told me that a lot of people from spcss were going to mcmaster this year. julie, seb, kiel.. and they didn't finish naming them all.
my stomach is churning and i've been feeling restless ever since. i can't say i feel disturbed, but i don't feel happy about this.
i know they're not in science, and even if they were, it shoudln't even affect me. but i keep having flashbacks to all the times i was reassured by the words that i'd never see these people after high school, that we were all going to take different paths.
and there were many times like that.
in the rare instances where i decide to look at this with some maturity, i can admit that i don't mind all those people as much as i used to. and that i could even imagine becoming friends with julie again. i could even say that all this time i've always felt like she was a friend, albeit a very misguided and distant one.
i don't like this feeling.
it's that i resent them for deciding to come to mac.. but it's almost like
i feel like
they don't deserve to be where i am.
i'm an idiot.
that's what the feeling is.
it's not that it's even a negative feeling. maybe that was a poor description of it. i just feel funny in the pit of my stomach. my stomach feels hot.
whatever. i'm being immature.
i'm going to email julie and see if she wants to take my forsyth place.
i hope i reconnect with her.