[Log] [Loyalty] [Shikamaru and Ino] [Closed]
Backdated to 7/15:
They hadn't been in the mall very long, but Ino had dragged Shikamaru to a good number of stores before even deciding what kind of clothes they were looking for. She had yelled at him (more like chastised than yelled, really) enough to get the attention of the amused sales ladies.
"Is that your boyfriend?" they had asked, watching her pull him away from the flannel shirts.
"No," Ino said mischievously, "my brother." Just as she had predicted, Shikamaru sputtered and choked and looked stricken with grief.
The day was mostly lazy though. Ino wasn't in a rush-not to mention she kept finding things for herself in the process. She and Shikamaru had agreed that he needed tee-shirts and Ino was going to make sure they were at least trendy. He needed it. Pants were also a must and Ino would be damned if he wore anything that fitted weirdly or had to be rolled up.
"I like green on you," she mused. "It looks nice with your hair and skin color."
If he had known that this was going to be quite as troublesome as it turned out being, Shikamaru would have never, ever even contemplated opening this can of worms. He would have skulked into the local Goodwill, as usual, to find something/anything/everything that could fit on his admittedly oddly-shaped frame---edging on the tallish side, stick-thin and without much of an ass to hang his pants on---and quietly get back to his apartment to feed his cat.
He hadn't known that shopping was not a 'trip', as he'd been foolishly led to believe. It was an excursion. It was a full-out Safari, resplendent in harrowing adventures, wild twists and turns, and outlandish topiary at every angle. Shikamaru feared for his life, his manhood, and, more importantly, his slim little wallet.
"Green is green," Shikamaru said shortly, flicking his gaze off to the side. "...and black looks fine with most anything, doesn't it?
"Too hot for the summer," Ino said absently, curling a piece of her hair around her finger as she examined the tee shirts in front of her. If he seemed like he was having an awful time, Ino paid no attention to it. It was for his own good. She couldn't-wouldn't-let one of her oldest friends walk around looking like a hobo.
Green was nice. Maybe navy blue. Harsh colors would wash him out. Ino folded a few shirts over her arm, intent on having him try them on. "Don't worry about the money. If you're short, I'll pay the difference."
"Don't worry about that," Shikamaru cut in swiftly, sighing as she deftly switched one shirt for another, playing musical chairs with fabric swatches to see what would look best with his blah looks. Ino had been doing this for the better part of the last hour---whipping a shirt off the rack, tucking it beneath his chin, tut-tutting beneath her breath, and then scampering off to a new rack in order to repeat the process. "The old hag's footin' the bill, anyway. Doesn't want her honors college student looking like he should be collecting cans to supplement his income."
She grinned in spite of herself. "Shikamaru, you know she means well. Besides, I agree with her. There's no reason for you to dress badly. Not," Ino amended, putting a red shirt back, "if you ever want to find a girlfriend-or a wife, as far as your mother is concerned."
Ino looked him over, holding another shirt up. Shikamaru wasn't bad looking at all-too skinny maybe, but a good height with a nice enough face. When he wasn't scowling, but then again that wasn't very often. "I'm glad you asked me to help you! This is a lot of fun." Even though they lived together, their schedules made it impossible for them to see very much of each other. He and Chouji were more likely to hang out, but that didn't mean she didn't want to attempt to do things with him.
Fun? Fun? Maybe fun in the way cutting off your limbs and rolling the mangled stump of your body in seasalt could be fun---otherwise, Shikamaru had no idea what she was trying to get at. Fun was sleeping. Fun was petting his cat. Fun was watching clouds. Fun was playing Go and getting Chouji to blush once in a while. Those activities were fun.
This was barely-maskable torture. Ino could be Hitler in heels when it came to shopping...
"My mother has pretty much made it clear that I need to get a wife by the end of the year."
"Find a girlfriend, finish school, get a job, support yourself and then worry about marriage," Ino said amusedly, canting her head to one side to examine some clothes. One hand ran through her ponytail, concentrating on what she did best. Even she was getting a bit tired. Having to wake up at three am to get an order of flowers didn't exactly do much for her morale and energy level.
Yoshino was something else, Ino thought. Shikamaru would be fine. Everyone did things differently. "I'm just glad we're hanging out!" Ino admitted cheerfully with a slight blush. "That's the nice part."
"I don't want to get married to just anyone," Shikamaru muttered beneath his breath, disappearing around a clothing rack. She could probably still see his signature spikey ponytail bobbing in the distance, a stiff fan that slid lower as he shrugged and slouched, curling his shoulders in. "It's not just a matter of spreading around sperm or raising a family. That damn hag wants genius grandchildren far too quickly for my taste..."
"I know. I wouldn't let you marry just anyone," Ino protested. "She has to meet my expectations. And I have high standards! It'll happen when it happens," she fingered a dress that she knew would look amazing on her. Sad they were shopping for Shikamaru. There was always next time. "Your mom will get over the disappointment. It's your life."
Shikamaru snorted and said something acidic under his breath. He moseyed towards a display of baggy cargo pants, yawning widely to mask his irritation.
And what if it's already happened? What if I've already made my decisions?
"Exactly. Seems like mother dear is always a little bit disappointed with me...not that I care entirely that much, but yes, just stating the obvious..." He stretched, yawning again. And to toss the conversation her way... "And what about you and Chouji?"
"Same as always," Ino said vaguely, waving her hand as if his question were a fly. That top was generally Forbidden between Ino and Shikamaru. Why he was bringing it up was a mystery.
Her hand tugged at her hair again. It really was obscenely long. Maybe a cut would do her some good. "So I'm thinking about changing my hairstyle. Cutting it all off! Starting fresh!"
He blinked slowly, once, twice, feline-like.
"Cut...it?" he replied slowly, drawing out his echo. "...off? All of it?" Shikamaru paused for a second, rubbing under his chin thoughtfully as he turned the idea over in his head a few times, testing it for soundness. "...if you cut yours, I suppose I have to cut mine off, too, then?"
Ino shook her head, laughing a bit. "What does your hair have to do with mine?"
Shikamaru shrugged again, plucking a flannel shirt from the rack and looking over it.
"I don't know. I just don't want to be more feminine than you. And besides, do you know how many times I've been mistaken as a woman from behind? It's damn troublesome."
"It's just talk, anyway. I think I'm too vain to actually do it. Not when people keep complimenting it," Ino's hand immediately locked around Shikamaru's wrist. "Put the flannel down and no one gets hurt."
"Make me," he said, the edges of his mouth turning up into a smirk he couldn't put a lid on it. "I happen to have a fondness for flannel, Hitler."
Ino yanked at the shirt, scowling at him. "I'm not Hitler-Hitler had awful fashion sense. Now put it down! I'm not playing with you-flannel is for pajamas and that is it!"
Shikamaru rubbed the material against one thin cheek, still smirking.
"But it feels nice. And you haven't found anything better for me, have you?"
Now he was just testing her. What didn't Shikamaru understand about flannel being evil and gross?? "Tee shirts!" Ino practically flung herself at him, grabbing at the shirt. "Now let GO!"
It offended her fashion sensibilities to even be touching the shirt. The things she did for him.
Oh, well, this could be a game. This could be fun. He curled a deeper grin, rare and sharp, holding the shirt well out of the smaller girl's reach.
"Jump for it, little pig, or the big mean deer's going to wear it daily just to spite you."
"The deer is going to be mounted on my WALL if you don't give it up!" Ino jumped up and onto his back, holding on with one arm and grabbing with the other. Son of a-she hated how much taller he was than her! It wasn't even that she was short-it was just he was a freaken giant!
She would not rest until that shirt was safely out of reach!
He was tall, yes, but he wasn't that muscular. It was hard enough carrying her, but having her on his back, swaying and scrabbling for a hold---? Shikamaru nearly toppled over backwards, not entirely caring that they were getting looks from fellow shoppers.
But did that mean he'd stop? Oh no. Oh, hell no.
"Stop---you're---ow, that's my HAIR---!"
When Shikamaru did finally relinquish his hold-and his balance-Ino really didn't have much time to celebrate. Seeing as how she was behind him, when he feel backwards… she broke his fall.
"… ow…" The wind thoroughly knocked out of her, Ino was seeing stars at not, the Brad Pitt kind.
Shikamaru rolled up quickly, trying not to land any bony anatomy on her thin frame. No arms, no elbows, no knees; he pulled to his side with a suddenly-etched frown, barking a quick question as to her health.
"You okay? Not my turn to play nurse now, is it?"
"Just give me… one second. I'm fine," except for the pain in her ribs and the lack of air. Other than that-everything was fine. "Just… need to lay here… a bit."
Maybe an hour.
Or a day.
He sat up, touches of worry brushed against his forehead to create creases deep enough for a sixty-year-old cynic, much less a man a third that age. He tilted her chin up with one hand, sighing.
"Seriously, Ino. Am I going to have to carry you home?"
Ino gave him a small smile, finally regaining her breath. "No, no I'm fine! You couldn't carry me anyway," she managed to get to her knees, wincing at the pain in her side. That would bruise. "Just got the wind knocked out of me! I'm good!"
And he was suddenly very aware of the movement of her lips, slow as she tried to form words he'd buy. He didn't take any of her plea-like submissions, not for a bit. She'd fallen under him, and a hundred and sixty pounds of Shika wasn't much to scoff at. He tilted her chin this way and that, watching her focus on him.
There was probably a moment's hesitation between kissing her and not kissing her, but he didn't feel the transition. One second, he wasn't. Next second, his lips were on hers and he was wondering what was happening to his brain.
"………………………."
Immediately Ino's hands were up and pushing him away something fierce because what the hell just happened? She had to backtrack. They were in a mall. Shopping. There was a struggle of flannel. Ino got smooshed. And now there was kissing?
Clarity finally came, and then, anger.
"Are you out of your MIND!?" Ino quickly stood up, ignoring the dull throb at her side. "Shikamaru, what were you thinking?" Maybe it had been an accident. Yes. A misunderstanding because this was Shikamaru and not some… sexual deviant! She was dating his best friend-THEY were friends!
This was all very, very messy and very, very unplanned. He had no idea what was happening, what was going on, why his mind and body were both deciding to go against him in cahoots---
Everything was going against him. Pretty soon, so would Chouji, unless---
Unless he started plotting right now, and beat them both to it---figured this out---made it work, made it work somehow---
Shikamaru said nothing. He just wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, picking the flannel shirt back up.
"Shikamaru!" Ino said as sternly as she could, even though her voice was wobbling. "Would you please say something?" Anything would be good at the moment. Like… an explanation. An excuse. Something for her to go on. It didn't make any sense. Shikamaru was like her brother and Chouji-well Shikamaru and Chouji were the best of friends. Shikamaru would never just DO something like this.
She was so distraught she didn't even notice the flannel in his hand. "Shikamaru!"
He barely heard her, his mind was already so engrossed in plans and schemes and checks and double-checks. Hands in his lap over the flannel shirt, he watched her fume and snap, only this far away from shaking him bodily.
She wanted an exuse? He couldn't give her one. Not yet.
"What?" he asked, arching one brow as if nothing had happened. Unaffected. Sly. So, so, Shika.
"What do you mean WHAT?!" Ino hissed. "What just happened!" Temporary insanity. Maybe he was too stressed. He was lonely. He just needed someone and she was there. It meant nothing. It was fine. Everything was fine. He wouldn't do that to Chouji- or her. It was an alien. A cyborg Shikamaru.
Yes… that made more sense.
"You fell on my mouth," Shikamaru said mildly, if it was all just as simple as that. "Kind of rude of you, actually. Whatever would Chouji think?"
If he was going to get slapped, he wanted it to be well worth it. He would totally go out in public, because he'd macked on his best friend's girlfriend and said something witty after.
Wilde would be applauding as his soul sauntered down to join his.
That… without a doubt, was the all time stupidest thing she had ever heard come out of Shikamaru's mouth. It took a moment to register the fact that he just blamed her for this encounter and she felt she was channeling Kankurou or Ichigo in her plans to punch him in his fucking weasel face but instead she took another moment to think.
What was going on here?
"Whatever your problem is," Ino finally decided on, voice dangerous and on the verge of nuclear explosion, "I would suggest you get over it or you're going to ruin all of our friendships. Do you understand that? I don't think you do!"
Get over it? Get over it, when now he had options? Oh, this would work out wonderfully; he'd start with Chouji, this weekend, as soon as possible---over chess, maybe?
"But that'd be easy," Shikamaru drawled, rolling to his feet and tucking his shirt under one arm before Ino noticed it and squirreled it away.
And besides, I have a plan, now.
That was it. He was punishing her in his own way, for what-taking away his friend? For breaking so unwritten rule? "You know what, Shikamaru, I can't win against you. So fine. Obviously this was my fault. OBVIOUSLY I was just begging for it, right? Because that's the kind of girl I am. I loooove to fuck up friendships and ruin your life, right? I'm THAT awful of a friend!"
Ino wanted to run, flee, get the hell out of there as soon as possible but her legs were not cooperating. Slowly she was getting the feeling back. And then, once she did, Shikamaru could find his OWN way home.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What end of the stick had she picked up?
Shikamaru slid in close, grabbing her by the shoulder to catch her attention and stop this onward stomping.
"I don't expect you to win, to fight---this isn't a battle---and hell, I am not blaming you for this---" This what? Think, Shika, thiiiiiiink. "---thing you've got going with Chouji. He's happy, and I'll be damned if I've ever been able to do that for him all on my own. Those silly little grins he gives now? They're all you, Ino. All you. I am not angry with you. I feel...it doesn't matter what I feel right now, okay? I'll deal with me later. You haven't fucked up anything. Not directly. ---And you're my friend, always my friend." And that was probably the most Shikamaru had said all month, and Ino probably knew that.
She almost threw his hand off but stopped herself in the process. This was Shikamaru. Shikamaru who had begrudgingly helped her with homework when they were in school, Shikamaru who she bossed around and he LET her. This wasn't an alien-it was Shikamaru, as confused as he was about… whatever.
"It does matter what you feel! Don't say it doesn't matter. It does matter. You know how important you are to me. Just-whatever happened was an accident. It just happened. It was no one's fault," she pushed some hair off of her forehead, letting out a huge breath of air.
Shikamaru sighed, patting her arm once before letting go and sliding liquidly away.
He'd work on Ino's side of The Scheme later. Chouji was the easier one to approach, the simpler to pull apart and gauge. It'll be a good place to start, definitely.
"I'll just get this shirt and we can leave, okay?"
"… yeah," their shopping trip had been a complete failure, to say the least. And for once Ino couldn't wait to get out of the mall. The poor salesladies-the ones she told that Shikamaru was her brother-look confused and vaguely nauseated. They weren't the only ones. "One flannel shirt," she finally relented weakly. Anything to get the hell out. "But that's all."
"I win," Shikamaru said shortly, grabbing his dearest 'sister's' hand and nodding to the sales-people on his way to the cash register. All in all, he considered the score to definitely be in his favor, for once.
They hadn't been in the mall very long, but Ino had dragged Shikamaru to a good number of stores before even deciding what kind of clothes they were looking for. She had yelled at him (more like chastised than yelled, really) enough to get the attention of the amused sales ladies.
"Is that your boyfriend?" they had asked, watching her pull him away from the flannel shirts.
"No," Ino said mischievously, "my brother." Just as she had predicted, Shikamaru sputtered and choked and looked stricken with grief.
The day was mostly lazy though. Ino wasn't in a rush-not to mention she kept finding things for herself in the process. She and Shikamaru had agreed that he needed tee-shirts and Ino was going to make sure they were at least trendy. He needed it. Pants were also a must and Ino would be damned if he wore anything that fitted weirdly or had to be rolled up.
"I like green on you," she mused. "It looks nice with your hair and skin color."
If he had known that this was going to be quite as troublesome as it turned out being, Shikamaru would have never, ever even contemplated opening this can of worms. He would have skulked into the local Goodwill, as usual, to find something/anything/everything that could fit on his admittedly oddly-shaped frame---edging on the tallish side, stick-thin and without much of an ass to hang his pants on---and quietly get back to his apartment to feed his cat.
He hadn't known that shopping was not a 'trip', as he'd been foolishly led to believe. It was an excursion. It was a full-out Safari, resplendent in harrowing adventures, wild twists and turns, and outlandish topiary at every angle. Shikamaru feared for his life, his manhood, and, more importantly, his slim little wallet.
"Green is green," Shikamaru said shortly, flicking his gaze off to the side. "...and black looks fine with most anything, doesn't it?
"Too hot for the summer," Ino said absently, curling a piece of her hair around her finger as she examined the tee shirts in front of her. If he seemed like he was having an awful time, Ino paid no attention to it. It was for his own good. She couldn't-wouldn't-let one of her oldest friends walk around looking like a hobo.
Green was nice. Maybe navy blue. Harsh colors would wash him out. Ino folded a few shirts over her arm, intent on having him try them on. "Don't worry about the money. If you're short, I'll pay the difference."
"Don't worry about that," Shikamaru cut in swiftly, sighing as she deftly switched one shirt for another, playing musical chairs with fabric swatches to see what would look best with his blah looks. Ino had been doing this for the better part of the last hour---whipping a shirt off the rack, tucking it beneath his chin, tut-tutting beneath her breath, and then scampering off to a new rack in order to repeat the process. "The old hag's footin' the bill, anyway. Doesn't want her honors college student looking like he should be collecting cans to supplement his income."
She grinned in spite of herself. "Shikamaru, you know she means well. Besides, I agree with her. There's no reason for you to dress badly. Not," Ino amended, putting a red shirt back, "if you ever want to find a girlfriend-or a wife, as far as your mother is concerned."
Ino looked him over, holding another shirt up. Shikamaru wasn't bad looking at all-too skinny maybe, but a good height with a nice enough face. When he wasn't scowling, but then again that wasn't very often. "I'm glad you asked me to help you! This is a lot of fun." Even though they lived together, their schedules made it impossible for them to see very much of each other. He and Chouji were more likely to hang out, but that didn't mean she didn't want to attempt to do things with him.
Fun? Fun? Maybe fun in the way cutting off your limbs and rolling the mangled stump of your body in seasalt could be fun---otherwise, Shikamaru had no idea what she was trying to get at. Fun was sleeping. Fun was petting his cat. Fun was watching clouds. Fun was playing Go and getting Chouji to blush once in a while. Those activities were fun.
This was barely-maskable torture. Ino could be Hitler in heels when it came to shopping...
"My mother has pretty much made it clear that I need to get a wife by the end of the year."
"Find a girlfriend, finish school, get a job, support yourself and then worry about marriage," Ino said amusedly, canting her head to one side to examine some clothes. One hand ran through her ponytail, concentrating on what she did best. Even she was getting a bit tired. Having to wake up at three am to get an order of flowers didn't exactly do much for her morale and energy level.
Yoshino was something else, Ino thought. Shikamaru would be fine. Everyone did things differently. "I'm just glad we're hanging out!" Ino admitted cheerfully with a slight blush. "That's the nice part."
"I don't want to get married to just anyone," Shikamaru muttered beneath his breath, disappearing around a clothing rack. She could probably still see his signature spikey ponytail bobbing in the distance, a stiff fan that slid lower as he shrugged and slouched, curling his shoulders in. "It's not just a matter of spreading around sperm or raising a family. That damn hag wants genius grandchildren far too quickly for my taste..."
"I know. I wouldn't let you marry just anyone," Ino protested. "She has to meet my expectations. And I have high standards! It'll happen when it happens," she fingered a dress that she knew would look amazing on her. Sad they were shopping for Shikamaru. There was always next time. "Your mom will get over the disappointment. It's your life."
Shikamaru snorted and said something acidic under his breath. He moseyed towards a display of baggy cargo pants, yawning widely to mask his irritation.
And what if it's already happened? What if I've already made my decisions?
"Exactly. Seems like mother dear is always a little bit disappointed with me...not that I care entirely that much, but yes, just stating the obvious..." He stretched, yawning again. And to toss the conversation her way... "And what about you and Chouji?"
"Same as always," Ino said vaguely, waving her hand as if his question were a fly. That top was generally Forbidden between Ino and Shikamaru. Why he was bringing it up was a mystery.
Her hand tugged at her hair again. It really was obscenely long. Maybe a cut would do her some good. "So I'm thinking about changing my hairstyle. Cutting it all off! Starting fresh!"
He blinked slowly, once, twice, feline-like.
"Cut...it?" he replied slowly, drawing out his echo. "...off? All of it?" Shikamaru paused for a second, rubbing under his chin thoughtfully as he turned the idea over in his head a few times, testing it for soundness. "...if you cut yours, I suppose I have to cut mine off, too, then?"
Ino shook her head, laughing a bit. "What does your hair have to do with mine?"
Shikamaru shrugged again, plucking a flannel shirt from the rack and looking over it.
"I don't know. I just don't want to be more feminine than you. And besides, do you know how many times I've been mistaken as a woman from behind? It's damn troublesome."
"It's just talk, anyway. I think I'm too vain to actually do it. Not when people keep complimenting it," Ino's hand immediately locked around Shikamaru's wrist. "Put the flannel down and no one gets hurt."
"Make me," he said, the edges of his mouth turning up into a smirk he couldn't put a lid on it. "I happen to have a fondness for flannel, Hitler."
Ino yanked at the shirt, scowling at him. "I'm not Hitler-Hitler had awful fashion sense. Now put it down! I'm not playing with you-flannel is for pajamas and that is it!"
Shikamaru rubbed the material against one thin cheek, still smirking.
"But it feels nice. And you haven't found anything better for me, have you?"
Now he was just testing her. What didn't Shikamaru understand about flannel being evil and gross?? "Tee shirts!" Ino practically flung herself at him, grabbing at the shirt. "Now let GO!"
It offended her fashion sensibilities to even be touching the shirt. The things she did for him.
Oh, well, this could be a game. This could be fun. He curled a deeper grin, rare and sharp, holding the shirt well out of the smaller girl's reach.
"Jump for it, little pig, or the big mean deer's going to wear it daily just to spite you."
"The deer is going to be mounted on my WALL if you don't give it up!" Ino jumped up and onto his back, holding on with one arm and grabbing with the other. Son of a-she hated how much taller he was than her! It wasn't even that she was short-it was just he was a freaken giant!
She would not rest until that shirt was safely out of reach!
He was tall, yes, but he wasn't that muscular. It was hard enough carrying her, but having her on his back, swaying and scrabbling for a hold---? Shikamaru nearly toppled over backwards, not entirely caring that they were getting looks from fellow shoppers.
But did that mean he'd stop? Oh no. Oh, hell no.
"Stop---you're---ow, that's my HAIR---!"
When Shikamaru did finally relinquish his hold-and his balance-Ino really didn't have much time to celebrate. Seeing as how she was behind him, when he feel backwards… she broke his fall.
"… ow…" The wind thoroughly knocked out of her, Ino was seeing stars at not, the Brad Pitt kind.
Shikamaru rolled up quickly, trying not to land any bony anatomy on her thin frame. No arms, no elbows, no knees; he pulled to his side with a suddenly-etched frown, barking a quick question as to her health.
"You okay? Not my turn to play nurse now, is it?"
"Just give me… one second. I'm fine," except for the pain in her ribs and the lack of air. Other than that-everything was fine. "Just… need to lay here… a bit."
Maybe an hour.
Or a day.
He sat up, touches of worry brushed against his forehead to create creases deep enough for a sixty-year-old cynic, much less a man a third that age. He tilted her chin up with one hand, sighing.
"Seriously, Ino. Am I going to have to carry you home?"
Ino gave him a small smile, finally regaining her breath. "No, no I'm fine! You couldn't carry me anyway," she managed to get to her knees, wincing at the pain in her side. That would bruise. "Just got the wind knocked out of me! I'm good!"
And he was suddenly very aware of the movement of her lips, slow as she tried to form words he'd buy. He didn't take any of her plea-like submissions, not for a bit. She'd fallen under him, and a hundred and sixty pounds of Shika wasn't much to scoff at. He tilted her chin this way and that, watching her focus on him.
There was probably a moment's hesitation between kissing her and not kissing her, but he didn't feel the transition. One second, he wasn't. Next second, his lips were on hers and he was wondering what was happening to his brain.
"………………………."
Immediately Ino's hands were up and pushing him away something fierce because what the hell just happened? She had to backtrack. They were in a mall. Shopping. There was a struggle of flannel. Ino got smooshed. And now there was kissing?
Clarity finally came, and then, anger.
"Are you out of your MIND!?" Ino quickly stood up, ignoring the dull throb at her side. "Shikamaru, what were you thinking?" Maybe it had been an accident. Yes. A misunderstanding because this was Shikamaru and not some… sexual deviant! She was dating his best friend-THEY were friends!
This was all very, very messy and very, very unplanned. He had no idea what was happening, what was going on, why his mind and body were both deciding to go against him in cahoots---
Everything was going against him. Pretty soon, so would Chouji, unless---
Unless he started plotting right now, and beat them both to it---figured this out---made it work, made it work somehow---
Shikamaru said nothing. He just wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, picking the flannel shirt back up.
"Shikamaru!" Ino said as sternly as she could, even though her voice was wobbling. "Would you please say something?" Anything would be good at the moment. Like… an explanation. An excuse. Something for her to go on. It didn't make any sense. Shikamaru was like her brother and Chouji-well Shikamaru and Chouji were the best of friends. Shikamaru would never just DO something like this.
She was so distraught she didn't even notice the flannel in his hand. "Shikamaru!"
He barely heard her, his mind was already so engrossed in plans and schemes and checks and double-checks. Hands in his lap over the flannel shirt, he watched her fume and snap, only this far away from shaking him bodily.
She wanted an exuse? He couldn't give her one. Not yet.
"What?" he asked, arching one brow as if nothing had happened. Unaffected. Sly. So, so, Shika.
"What do you mean WHAT?!" Ino hissed. "What just happened!" Temporary insanity. Maybe he was too stressed. He was lonely. He just needed someone and she was there. It meant nothing. It was fine. Everything was fine. He wouldn't do that to Chouji- or her. It was an alien. A cyborg Shikamaru.
Yes… that made more sense.
"You fell on my mouth," Shikamaru said mildly, if it was all just as simple as that. "Kind of rude of you, actually. Whatever would Chouji think?"
If he was going to get slapped, he wanted it to be well worth it. He would totally go out in public, because he'd macked on his best friend's girlfriend and said something witty after.
Wilde would be applauding as his soul sauntered down to join his.
That… without a doubt, was the all time stupidest thing she had ever heard come out of Shikamaru's mouth. It took a moment to register the fact that he just blamed her for this encounter and she felt she was channeling Kankurou or Ichigo in her plans to punch him in his fucking weasel face but instead she took another moment to think.
What was going on here?
"Whatever your problem is," Ino finally decided on, voice dangerous and on the verge of nuclear explosion, "I would suggest you get over it or you're going to ruin all of our friendships. Do you understand that? I don't think you do!"
Get over it? Get over it, when now he had options? Oh, this would work out wonderfully; he'd start with Chouji, this weekend, as soon as possible---over chess, maybe?
"But that'd be easy," Shikamaru drawled, rolling to his feet and tucking his shirt under one arm before Ino noticed it and squirreled it away.
And besides, I have a plan, now.
That was it. He was punishing her in his own way, for what-taking away his friend? For breaking so unwritten rule? "You know what, Shikamaru, I can't win against you. So fine. Obviously this was my fault. OBVIOUSLY I was just begging for it, right? Because that's the kind of girl I am. I loooove to fuck up friendships and ruin your life, right? I'm THAT awful of a friend!"
Ino wanted to run, flee, get the hell out of there as soon as possible but her legs were not cooperating. Slowly she was getting the feeling back. And then, once she did, Shikamaru could find his OWN way home.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What end of the stick had she picked up?
Shikamaru slid in close, grabbing her by the shoulder to catch her attention and stop this onward stomping.
"I don't expect you to win, to fight---this isn't a battle---and hell, I am not blaming you for this---" This what? Think, Shika, thiiiiiiink. "---thing you've got going with Chouji. He's happy, and I'll be damned if I've ever been able to do that for him all on my own. Those silly little grins he gives now? They're all you, Ino. All you. I am not angry with you. I feel...it doesn't matter what I feel right now, okay? I'll deal with me later. You haven't fucked up anything. Not directly. ---And you're my friend, always my friend." And that was probably the most Shikamaru had said all month, and Ino probably knew that.
She almost threw his hand off but stopped herself in the process. This was Shikamaru. Shikamaru who had begrudgingly helped her with homework when they were in school, Shikamaru who she bossed around and he LET her. This wasn't an alien-it was Shikamaru, as confused as he was about… whatever.
"It does matter what you feel! Don't say it doesn't matter. It does matter. You know how important you are to me. Just-whatever happened was an accident. It just happened. It was no one's fault," she pushed some hair off of her forehead, letting out a huge breath of air.
Shikamaru sighed, patting her arm once before letting go and sliding liquidly away.
He'd work on Ino's side of The Scheme later. Chouji was the easier one to approach, the simpler to pull apart and gauge. It'll be a good place to start, definitely.
"I'll just get this shirt and we can leave, okay?"
"… yeah," their shopping trip had been a complete failure, to say the least. And for once Ino couldn't wait to get out of the mall. The poor salesladies-the ones she told that Shikamaru was her brother-look confused and vaguely nauseated. They weren't the only ones. "One flannel shirt," she finally relented weakly. Anything to get the hell out. "But that's all."
"I win," Shikamaru said shortly, grabbing his dearest 'sister's' hand and nodding to the sales-people on his way to the cash register. All in all, he considered the score to definitely be in his favor, for once.