[Log] [Spoken Word] [Shikamaru and Ino] [Closed]
(Backdated to July 4th)
The apartment was like an oven, hot and stifling, and Ino was sure that she was going to burn like all of her cooking experiments. Even clad in a tank top that Kin had once claimed was too small to count as a shirt and shorts with her hair done up in a haphazard, messy bun, she could feel the perspiration building on her forehead and neck. When she looked into the window, fogged up from all the humidity, Ino could see a flush build on her cheeks and spread downwards to her collarbone.
"I vote we invest in air conditioning," Ino complained to Shikamaru not for the first time. "This is ridiculous! I can feel my hair frizzing up and my SKIN! This is too much!! I've taken like ten showers and I still feel hot!"
Gazing at her ever calm and collected (albeit just as sweaty as her) friend, the blonde wondered if anything got to Shikamaru, even heat. She doubted he would get upset if the roof collapsed above their heads. Getting upset was probably too troublesome, after all. Still, a little concern about her well being would have been appreciated.
If I pass out from heatstroke then he'll care!
Shikamaru licked his thumb and turned a page in the textbook he was going through, sparing her a short glare, empty and blank as a clock face. Facial expressions took energy, and between the class work he still had to wade through and the oppressive heat, he really couldn't spare any energy on pulling a face at the blonde woman. She knew well enough what he was thinking, so no troublesome explanations needed to be dished out. His face etching in a frown, Shikamaru sat back, plucking at his sweat-soaked t-shirt.
Ino was glaring back, hands planted firmly on her hips, long legs...
He let the thought draw out, upper lip curling with displeasure.
"Ino. What are you wearing?"
Ino stopped her ranting to give him a strange look. "What? What are you talking about? I think the shirt is BCBG and the shorts are-wait… when did you get so interested in clothes?" For Shikamaru, if it was clean and fit he would pretty much wear anything. Unless-was he taking an interest in how he looked?!
…
No, that couldn't be it. "Can we get back to the topic at hand? I'm melting! Use your genius brain and think of a solution that doesn't involve sticking my head in a freezer."
He didn't blink, his mind still rapid-firing over her ensemble. Too much. Too much skin, too much sweat, too many curves he didn't care to see. She was Chouji's girlfriend, now; he shouldn't be staring at the perfect flare of hips and ribcage limned tight by her too-small shirt, the fullness of breasts and the obvious lines of her bra underneath and...
Ripping his eyes away with a muttered curse---this was Ino, this was best friend!Ino, this was roomate!Ino, this was Chouji'sGirlfriend!Ino---he clucked his tongue reproachfully, straightening slowly so that every ridge of his spine cricked back into alignment. He sounded like a creaky old man sometimes.
"Stick your head in the freezer. No, wait; don't hog the freezer. We'll take turns."
This earned him an eyebrow raise. The heat was probably getting to him too. How could even concentrate on studying when it was scorching? Did he even really need to study? "Come on," she tugged on his pony tail, "I'm serious. Besides, the freezer smells weird. Not sure why, but I would fry first before having to stick my nose near it for too long."
She wiped a bead of sweat off of her forehead that was making its way down to her cheek. "We could go to the library or something. It's cold there. What do you think?"
"Not looking like that, no," he said irritably, pawing her hands out of his hair. He was hot and sticky enough without her tugging at his long ponytail. "They'll think you're a goddamn hooker, and you know what? That'll be troublesome. I don't want to have to explain that to Chouji."
Ino did a fairly good impression of a fish out of water as she sputtered to properly respond to what Shikamaru just had the nerve to say to her. There was a long pause, like the calm before the storm, before she grabbed him by the front of the shirt, her face contorted in fury.
"What did you just say to me?" her voice started deathly low and rose with each word until she was shrieking. "WHAT did you just call me? What does Chouji have to do with ANYTHING? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO??" Her breath was coming out in ragged pants both from the heat and her extreme anger. Never in their lives had he ever said something like that to her.
And when she was through with him she would make sure he never said anything like that ever again.
Oh. Oh. Well. That'd been the wrong thing to say, he realized belatedly. The exact wrong thing to say, as evidenced by the way she had her perfectly-manicured hands buried in his shirtfront and was shaking him like a British nanny. He'd let the barb slip, sliding off the tip of his tongue with a note of derision, and she'd obviously been struck clean through the heart---then again, Shikamaru knew how twitchy she was about these things, and he blamed his poor judgment on the heat...
"F-f-f---Ino! Shit! I didn't mean to---" he grunted, trying to peel her nails out of his shirt by grabbing her wrists. What had Chouji been feeding her? Her grip was vice like, and she seemed to have no qualms with hanging on indefinitely. "---stop it, you're shaking my brain loose!"
Getting a hold of herself (killing him really would have done nothing, even though she would have felt great afterwards) Ino stopped shaking him but continued to hold onto his shirt. Blue eyes were blazing with fire and the flush on her cheeks turned a deep crimson in rage and embarrassment.
"You better apologize this instant, Nara Shikamaru. And I mean now." There was a silent OR ELSE attached to that, but she was sure Shikamaru would get her drift.
"But it's true," Shikamaru deadpanned, dipping back into his expression of 'bored of the world at large'. It masked the way his heartbeat was pounding in his ears, hot and demanding. Damn Ino. He tried again to pluck uselessly at her hands, knowing that he didn't want to put what was left of his energy to throw her, and that little nudges weren't going to push her away. "You're showing too much skin to be anywhere near decent, and it's embarrassing."
"Shikamaru," she seethed through clenched teeth, "I swear on all that is good and holy if you don't cut it out I am going to beat the shit out of you." Ino felt her right hand itching to slap that bored expression off his face.
"Nnn, Inooo..." Shikamaru half-moaned, trying to wriggle one thin leg up to push her off of his stomach. He wasn't able to angle himself right with all of her bodyweight resting on him. "Geddoff; you're heavy...and besides, what is it you want me to 'cut out' about?"
"FIRST I'M A HOOKER AND NOW I'M HEAVY? DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH!?" Ino pushed him away as hard as she could. "Why do you care what I wear?? You never care what I wear! PLUS I WAS GOING TO CHANGE BEFORE GOING OUT." She blew a piece of stray hair out of her face. "I mean this is okay around the apartment since it's just YOU here but REALLY. You know I have more class than that!"
Shikamaru was positive he wouldn't be able to hear properly for the rest of the week. That was all there was to it. The back of his head slammed against the floor when she pushed him, and he briefly saw stars, missing bits and pieces of the rant but getting the hidden message: you're in so much shit now, mister.
"Well, why the hell's it okay for me, when I'm not your boyfriend? You've got Chouji for that; why mess with my head?" Shikamaru groused, putting a hand to his forehead. He could feel a headache swelling against his temples. "I hate to break your bubble and crush your illusions, Ino, but I am male. Don't...do..." He made a vague twirling gesture with his free hand. "...this."
For a minute Ino almost felt bad for hurting him until he opened his mouth. Did not compute, her brain screamed, did not compute. Shikamaru… a guy? Of course he was a male but he wasn't… a guy! She was perfectly comfortable walking around in pajamas and no make up in front of him which meant he was more like… well, not a GUY.
"You're not a guy, you're Shikamaru there's a difference," Ino smoothed out her hair absently. "Our parents bathed the three of us together as babies, you saw me when I had chicken pox and braces… that sort of puts you in a different league, do you know what I mean? And will you stop with this boyfriend stuff?? No one is messing with anyone! If I knew you felt so strongly about what I wear I would put more consideration into it!"
"I shouldn't have to say anything!" Shikamaru snapped, unexpected color rising in his face and curling invitingly in his cheeks. She wasn't embarrassing him, he was just---he was just---
She knew where he stood, didn't she?
"OFF, INO."
There was no talking to Shikamaru when he was like this. He was being ridiculously unreasonable! Instead Ino walked over to where Shikamaru's cat was sniffing around the counter and picked him up.
"Speaking of weighing a ton, this cat is freaken heavy," still Ino held the cat like it was a baby. Her attention span wasn't the best and she really couldn't stay mad for a long time. Something was obviously bothering Shikamaru. It was much too much trouble to bother with being angry.
He grunted irritably, flicking his dark eyes to watch her with his cat. Shunmin was a whore for attention. The huge cat---fat, but also hugely fluffy---was rubbing his head against Ino's shoulder, pleased as punch to be coddled and pet.
Traitor, Shikamaru mentally chided, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head beneath his ponytail. He was going to end up with a bump for sure. "He's...pleasantly plump."
After pouring the cat some water and giving him a can of tuna, Ino eyed Shikamaru and sighed. She reached into the freezer and grabbed a few ice cubes and wrapped them in a towel. Walking over to him, she moved his hand away from the bump and pressed the ice there.
"It's your own fault. But keep this on or else you're going to get a bump for sure." Jeez. What would he do without her? Probably die, she decided. "Is something bothering you? You seem… weird today."
Shikamaru watched her piddle around the kitchen, sighing heavily when she plopped down next to him again with her towel full of ice cubes. The relief was sudden and overwhelming, running down his spine with a shiver he felt from his shoulders to thighs. He closed his eyes, doe-long eyelashes brushing the sharp angles of his high cheekbones. He rubbed pearls of salt and sweat from the side of his neck, leaning slightly into the cold compress.
"It's nothing, Ino. Just have some things on my mind, is all."
Ino put his hand where hers was, holding the ice there. She made her way back to her room for a moment, picking up a light shirt to put over the one she had now. Once she was finished she pour two glasses of ice tea for them. It looked like going out was out of the question now. She was more worried that her friend might have given himself brain damage.
"You could tell me. I know it's not the same as telling Chouji but I'll still listen," Ino put his glass in front of him and sipped hers. It was extremely hot now that she had two shirts on, but she would live.
"Don't feel like it," he said with a dismissive wave, ever the emotional clam. He pressed the ice pack harder against his head, praying for numbness. "It's nothing big."
It has nothing to do with you and Chouji. No, not at all. I'm not confused. I'm not left out. I'm not needy. I've got my cat.
He gave a jaw-unhinging yawn, looking down at the proffered glass of iced tea with heavily-lidded eyes. Thinking eyes, as his mother used to tell him when she nudging his cupped hands out of his lap because she thought it looked indecent. Yoshino was all about what was decent and what wasn't, which was probably why he was wigging out the way he was now that he was feeling a little more...stressed than usual.
Shikamaru frowned. This was all a bit too troublesome for his taste.
"Well if you don't tell me I can't help you!" said cat sauntered over to nudge her ankle in thanks for the food. "Come on. This is me here. We've known each other forever. Nothing is sacred anymore," Ino joked, putting her hand on his shoulder. She had an inkling what he could be upset about, not that she blamed him. Change was troublesome. "If I can help, I will. You know I will. Is it the clothes thing? School? Girls?"
He chewed industriously on his lower lip, rubbing his jaw line with one callused thumb. "...why...Chouji, Ino?"
It wasn't something they'd talked about yet. He'd been surprised when he'd heard that his two old friends were...more than friends now, though he wasn't exactly sure how much more. He wasn't exactly sure he wanted to know exactly how much more than friends they were, because such things were hard to grasp. Too many concrete details for his analytical mind, too many things to piece together and list and look over and analyze to absolute death. It gave him stomachaches just to approach this matter.
And it wasn't the fact that they were together that bothered him, set him off-ease. It was the fact that he wasn't a part of it. They'd stepped their friendship up, and he was...not on that level. Not with Ino, not with anyone.
But he still had Shunmin.
Her mouth went mysteriously dry and she found herself silent for a good long moment, mind racing to think of an appropriate answer. There really was none. Didn't she know what she was setting herself up for? She could have tried denial, but Shikamaru was a genius and wouldn't be happy if she played dumb. She could have tried to play cute and ask a coy Why not Chouji? but that seemed foolish to do in this situation.
"I don't know," Ino sipped her ice tea and replied once speaking abilities came back to her. "It just… happened." One moments they were fighting and then the next… "You know things haven't really changed. I mean, between the three of us. If you're worried about things being weird you don't have to worry. Honestly!"
"Things like that just don't happen, Shikamaru replied flatly, taking a tentative sip from his tea. He made a face, his frown becoming even more etched. Too much sugar, as per usual from Ino. "And yes, they have changed, Ino."
And I don't like it at all.
"Well it did just happen whether you want to believe or not! No one set out for this to happen," her face was red not only from the heat but having to discuss this with Shikamaru of all people. She didn't set out to go out and break friendships. Not their friendship, the three of them were just… so concrete. "I would never want to hurt your friendship with Chouji-or our friendship for that matter," Ino added quickly. "Maybe if you just gave it a chance you would see it's really not that different."
"Dinner," he said abruptly, pressing a couple fingers to the rising knot in the back of his head as he clinked ice cubes against the side of his glass. Setting the drink down, he straightened to his feet with a chorus of mutters and creaks. He'd been sitting on the floor for going on four hours since Ino had stomped over to annoy him. "You, him, me. Tonight. We haven't talked in far too long, and besides...most places have AC."
Ino stood face to face with him-well not exactly face to face as Shikamaru had a good few inches on her-and moved his hand away from the back of his head. "You're making it worse!" She reached over and behind him to feel the wound with a few gentle fingers and an unmistakable pang of guilt shot through her. He deserved it, she reasoned, so she really didn't need to feel guilty. "More ice," Ino declared. "And pain killers."
Absently she smoothed out that parts of his hair that were sticking out weirdly. It looked like she was going to have to get Chouji to hold him down while she gave him a much needed trim. "If you feel dizzy and stuff I'll have to drive you down to the hospital to make sure your big brain's not bleeding or anything."
Shikamaru grunted lowly, trying to push her away with both hands. "Oi. I may be a deer, but that doesn't mean you can pet me," he said indignantly, wincing as a steely thread of pain shot up the back of his neck. "...and pain killers would be nice, though aspirins don't affect me much anymore. I've downed too many of those little white suckers for headaches already, and---ow. Don't touch it."
"I already feel bad enough already EVEN THOUGH YOU DESERVED IT," Ino clarified and went in search of something to shut Shikamaru up. What if he really WAS internally bleeding? What if he died and it would be her fault!? Chouji would be so pissed. And his mother…
She would not live to see old age.
When Ino found a bottle of non-asprin painkillers, she threw them at him. "You need a haircut by the way. Just a little trim. But you need it desperately. What girl is going to look at you with THAT on top of your head, huh?" she tilted her head up at him, leaning against the counter. "Remember, I say this because I care~"
"The French maid kind of girl," Shikamaru quipped as the bottle of painkillers hit the side of his head and bounced off ineffectually. He watched it roll on the floor for a moment before picking it up and wrestling with it. Obviously, childproofing was enough to deter someone as lazy as he was. "I'm hoping she'll mistake my ponytail for her feather duster."
Ino sighed and moved off the counter, plucked the bottle from his hand and opened it easily, putting two pills into his hand. "Are you really a genius? I want to see documentation," she said dryly. "And we don't like the French or did you forget? If you ever dated a French girl I'd hurl you off this building!" He, of course, knew about her French stepmother and how she and Ino didn't exactly see eye to eye (which was a nice way of saying they loathed each other with the fire of a thousand suns) and that by proxy, Ino hated anything remotely French.
"Hey," she popped the cap back on the bottle and struggled with her hair tie before running her fingers through her hair. Conditioning was definitely needed. "Why don't we skip that dinner idea and just go to that party thing on the roof tonight? It'll be fun."
He swallowed the two pills along with a long gulp of iced tea, quirking a dark eyebrow. "You try to bash my brains out, and now you want to go to a party with me? Two-faced wench."
"Come oooon," she pulled in his hand imploringly, giving him a huge pout complete with large sparkling eyes and trembling lip, "we'll drink! We'll watch fireworks! It'll be good times. Please please please? You know you can't say no to me, you might as well give in."
"Sure, beat the living daylights out of me and then get me drunk," Shikamaru drawled in a tone of Ultimate Suffering, rolling his dark eyes beseechingly heavenward. He'd never admit he enjoyed the pokes and whines of his longtime friend. "But since you've obviously given me absolutely no choice...fine. But only if Chouji goes, too."
Ino buffed her nails on her shirt, gazing down at them. Perfection. And people wondered why she was so spoiled. Everyone always let her have her way. Chouji did it because he liked to make her happy-Shikamaru did it because he didn't want to have to deal with her.
"Of course he's going. He never puts up a fight when I ask him to do things for me," she said sweetly. "It's probably because I give him make outs," it didn't hurt to squick out Shikamaru a little bit. That's what friends are for, after all.
He pulled an a-typically 'Shikamaru' face, bored and irritated at the same time. Not exactly squeamish at the thought, as Ino might've imagined he'd be, but still a little annoyed at the purposefully dropped addition.
He huffed a sigh, fingering the bump at the back of his head one last time before he got creakily to his feet. Shikamaru tugged out his ponytail, letting his hair fall down to his thin shoulders. He combed it out with his fingers, thinking it'd help hide his little war-wound.
Ino jumped right on him with glee, hugging him tightly and dangling a good few feet off the ground right after impact. It was sort of like how she woke him up in the morning sometimes-she would take a running leap and jump on him with all of her might and scare him awake.
It was really the only way that worked without her having to buy a taser gun.
"Thank you! It'll be a lot of fun, promise!"
Shikamaru teetered to the side with a groan, swinging the blond girl around until he had her in his arms. It hadn't been very long since he'd been able to carry her; his growth spurt had been only in the last five years.
"Those diets aren't working, are they, Princess?" he asked with a wry half-grin, deciding inwardly that another lump on his head would be worth the red that would rise in her cheeks, the indignation that would make her long hair almost curl at the ends.
He had called her fat.
It was the ULTIMATE BETRAYAL.
"SHIKAMARU!!" Ino flailed a bit but it was hard to move when her two feet weren't on the ground. "That is it! I am calling your mother and telling her you got a girl pregnant!! You just WAIT until I get near a phone!!"
Was her 2.5 pound weight gain from her trip so blatantly obvious?? It might have been more after eating a week or so of Chouji's cooking afterwards. Ino mentally decided she would run her little her ass off the next chance she got.
He really was playing on the edge tonight, wasn't he? This is what boredom did to Shikamaru. He started poking sleeping dragons, knowing full well that her flaming breath would roast him to a deer crisp.
"You look better this way," Shikamaru shot in quickly, setting her on her feet again so that he didn't get a foot to the chin.
"Really?" she asked suspiciously. "Or are you just saying that so I won't call your mom and make her come down here to yell at you?"
"Really, really," he muttered with another expressive eye-roll. "And besides, I'm not with anyone. I don't think my mother would believe that I knocked a girl up just by looking at her. If that was the case, you'd better watch out."
As he was talking, Ino was looking in the glass of the coffee table and smoothing out her hair. Of course. Beautiful as always! Shikamaru obviously just had no taste and maybe needed glasses.
"You don't have to date someone to have sex, you know," Ino poked at her lips, smoothing out the lip gloss that hadn't melted off, "and don't worry. I'm protected. I like to play it safe."
Shikamaru looked purposefully at an empty corner of the room, crossing his arms over his chest. This subject had become unexpectedly troublesome, and he fully blamed a slight concussion on his inability to nip it in the bud before it even started.
"I know that," he said stiffly, jaw squared. "I just haven't---haven't decided to put myself in such a relationship. It's not in the cards...or hasn't been, at least. I waited too long, I s'pose. Now---get dressed. I know it'll take you forever, so start already."
"Stop talking like an old man with a terminal illness," Ino reached up to pinch his cheek lightly. "You've got some stuff going for you. You'll be fine. But you're right, I need to get ready. A shower is a must," she patted his cheek and backed away, making a beeline for the bathroom. "And remember, I'll be dragging you myself to the party! Don't try and hide because I'll come find you!"
Shikamaru plopped down on the couch to take a mini-nap before said dragging commenced.
This hadn't been a very good evening at all, actually.
The apartment was like an oven, hot and stifling, and Ino was sure that she was going to burn like all of her cooking experiments. Even clad in a tank top that Kin had once claimed was too small to count as a shirt and shorts with her hair done up in a haphazard, messy bun, she could feel the perspiration building on her forehead and neck. When she looked into the window, fogged up from all the humidity, Ino could see a flush build on her cheeks and spread downwards to her collarbone.
"I vote we invest in air conditioning," Ino complained to Shikamaru not for the first time. "This is ridiculous! I can feel my hair frizzing up and my SKIN! This is too much!! I've taken like ten showers and I still feel hot!"
Gazing at her ever calm and collected (albeit just as sweaty as her) friend, the blonde wondered if anything got to Shikamaru, even heat. She doubted he would get upset if the roof collapsed above their heads. Getting upset was probably too troublesome, after all. Still, a little concern about her well being would have been appreciated.
If I pass out from heatstroke then he'll care!
Shikamaru licked his thumb and turned a page in the textbook he was going through, sparing her a short glare, empty and blank as a clock face. Facial expressions took energy, and between the class work he still had to wade through and the oppressive heat, he really couldn't spare any energy on pulling a face at the blonde woman. She knew well enough what he was thinking, so no troublesome explanations needed to be dished out. His face etching in a frown, Shikamaru sat back, plucking at his sweat-soaked t-shirt.
Ino was glaring back, hands planted firmly on her hips, long legs...
He let the thought draw out, upper lip curling with displeasure.
"Ino. What are you wearing?"
Ino stopped her ranting to give him a strange look. "What? What are you talking about? I think the shirt is BCBG and the shorts are-wait… when did you get so interested in clothes?" For Shikamaru, if it was clean and fit he would pretty much wear anything. Unless-was he taking an interest in how he looked?!
…
No, that couldn't be it. "Can we get back to the topic at hand? I'm melting! Use your genius brain and think of a solution that doesn't involve sticking my head in a freezer."
He didn't blink, his mind still rapid-firing over her ensemble. Too much. Too much skin, too much sweat, too many curves he didn't care to see. She was Chouji's girlfriend, now; he shouldn't be staring at the perfect flare of hips and ribcage limned tight by her too-small shirt, the fullness of breasts and the obvious lines of her bra underneath and...
Ripping his eyes away with a muttered curse---this was Ino, this was best friend!Ino, this was roomate!Ino, this was Chouji'sGirlfriend!Ino---he clucked his tongue reproachfully, straightening slowly so that every ridge of his spine cricked back into alignment. He sounded like a creaky old man sometimes.
"Stick your head in the freezer. No, wait; don't hog the freezer. We'll take turns."
This earned him an eyebrow raise. The heat was probably getting to him too. How could even concentrate on studying when it was scorching? Did he even really need to study? "Come on," she tugged on his pony tail, "I'm serious. Besides, the freezer smells weird. Not sure why, but I would fry first before having to stick my nose near it for too long."
She wiped a bead of sweat off of her forehead that was making its way down to her cheek. "We could go to the library or something. It's cold there. What do you think?"
"Not looking like that, no," he said irritably, pawing her hands out of his hair. He was hot and sticky enough without her tugging at his long ponytail. "They'll think you're a goddamn hooker, and you know what? That'll be troublesome. I don't want to have to explain that to Chouji."
Ino did a fairly good impression of a fish out of water as she sputtered to properly respond to what Shikamaru just had the nerve to say to her. There was a long pause, like the calm before the storm, before she grabbed him by the front of the shirt, her face contorted in fury.
"What did you just say to me?" her voice started deathly low and rose with each word until she was shrieking. "WHAT did you just call me? What does Chouji have to do with ANYTHING? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO??" Her breath was coming out in ragged pants both from the heat and her extreme anger. Never in their lives had he ever said something like that to her.
And when she was through with him she would make sure he never said anything like that ever again.
Oh. Oh. Well. That'd been the wrong thing to say, he realized belatedly. The exact wrong thing to say, as evidenced by the way she had her perfectly-manicured hands buried in his shirtfront and was shaking him like a British nanny. He'd let the barb slip, sliding off the tip of his tongue with a note of derision, and she'd obviously been struck clean through the heart---then again, Shikamaru knew how twitchy she was about these things, and he blamed his poor judgment on the heat...
"F-f-f---Ino! Shit! I didn't mean to---" he grunted, trying to peel her nails out of his shirt by grabbing her wrists. What had Chouji been feeding her? Her grip was vice like, and she seemed to have no qualms with hanging on indefinitely. "---stop it, you're shaking my brain loose!"
Getting a hold of herself (killing him really would have done nothing, even though she would have felt great afterwards) Ino stopped shaking him but continued to hold onto his shirt. Blue eyes were blazing with fire and the flush on her cheeks turned a deep crimson in rage and embarrassment.
"You better apologize this instant, Nara Shikamaru. And I mean now." There was a silent OR ELSE attached to that, but she was sure Shikamaru would get her drift.
"But it's true," Shikamaru deadpanned, dipping back into his expression of 'bored of the world at large'. It masked the way his heartbeat was pounding in his ears, hot and demanding. Damn Ino. He tried again to pluck uselessly at her hands, knowing that he didn't want to put what was left of his energy to throw her, and that little nudges weren't going to push her away. "You're showing too much skin to be anywhere near decent, and it's embarrassing."
"Shikamaru," she seethed through clenched teeth, "I swear on all that is good and holy if you don't cut it out I am going to beat the shit out of you." Ino felt her right hand itching to slap that bored expression off his face.
"Nnn, Inooo..." Shikamaru half-moaned, trying to wriggle one thin leg up to push her off of his stomach. He wasn't able to angle himself right with all of her bodyweight resting on him. "Geddoff; you're heavy...and besides, what is it you want me to 'cut out' about?"
"FIRST I'M A HOOKER AND NOW I'M HEAVY? DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH!?" Ino pushed him away as hard as she could. "Why do you care what I wear?? You never care what I wear! PLUS I WAS GOING TO CHANGE BEFORE GOING OUT." She blew a piece of stray hair out of her face. "I mean this is okay around the apartment since it's just YOU here but REALLY. You know I have more class than that!"
Shikamaru was positive he wouldn't be able to hear properly for the rest of the week. That was all there was to it. The back of his head slammed against the floor when she pushed him, and he briefly saw stars, missing bits and pieces of the rant but getting the hidden message: you're in so much shit now, mister.
"Well, why the hell's it okay for me, when I'm not your boyfriend? You've got Chouji for that; why mess with my head?" Shikamaru groused, putting a hand to his forehead. He could feel a headache swelling against his temples. "I hate to break your bubble and crush your illusions, Ino, but I am male. Don't...do..." He made a vague twirling gesture with his free hand. "...this."
For a minute Ino almost felt bad for hurting him until he opened his mouth. Did not compute, her brain screamed, did not compute. Shikamaru… a guy? Of course he was a male but he wasn't… a guy! She was perfectly comfortable walking around in pajamas and no make up in front of him which meant he was more like… well, not a GUY.
"You're not a guy, you're Shikamaru there's a difference," Ino smoothed out her hair absently. "Our parents bathed the three of us together as babies, you saw me when I had chicken pox and braces… that sort of puts you in a different league, do you know what I mean? And will you stop with this boyfriend stuff?? No one is messing with anyone! If I knew you felt so strongly about what I wear I would put more consideration into it!"
"I shouldn't have to say anything!" Shikamaru snapped, unexpected color rising in his face and curling invitingly in his cheeks. She wasn't embarrassing him, he was just---he was just---
She knew where he stood, didn't she?
"OFF, INO."
There was no talking to Shikamaru when he was like this. He was being ridiculously unreasonable! Instead Ino walked over to where Shikamaru's cat was sniffing around the counter and picked him up.
"Speaking of weighing a ton, this cat is freaken heavy," still Ino held the cat like it was a baby. Her attention span wasn't the best and she really couldn't stay mad for a long time. Something was obviously bothering Shikamaru. It was much too much trouble to bother with being angry.
He grunted irritably, flicking his dark eyes to watch her with his cat. Shunmin was a whore for attention. The huge cat---fat, but also hugely fluffy---was rubbing his head against Ino's shoulder, pleased as punch to be coddled and pet.
Traitor, Shikamaru mentally chided, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head beneath his ponytail. He was going to end up with a bump for sure. "He's...pleasantly plump."
After pouring the cat some water and giving him a can of tuna, Ino eyed Shikamaru and sighed. She reached into the freezer and grabbed a few ice cubes and wrapped them in a towel. Walking over to him, she moved his hand away from the bump and pressed the ice there.
"It's your own fault. But keep this on or else you're going to get a bump for sure." Jeez. What would he do without her? Probably die, she decided. "Is something bothering you? You seem… weird today."
Shikamaru watched her piddle around the kitchen, sighing heavily when she plopped down next to him again with her towel full of ice cubes. The relief was sudden and overwhelming, running down his spine with a shiver he felt from his shoulders to thighs. He closed his eyes, doe-long eyelashes brushing the sharp angles of his high cheekbones. He rubbed pearls of salt and sweat from the side of his neck, leaning slightly into the cold compress.
"It's nothing, Ino. Just have some things on my mind, is all."
Ino put his hand where hers was, holding the ice there. She made her way back to her room for a moment, picking up a light shirt to put over the one she had now. Once she was finished she pour two glasses of ice tea for them. It looked like going out was out of the question now. She was more worried that her friend might have given himself brain damage.
"You could tell me. I know it's not the same as telling Chouji but I'll still listen," Ino put his glass in front of him and sipped hers. It was extremely hot now that she had two shirts on, but she would live.
"Don't feel like it," he said with a dismissive wave, ever the emotional clam. He pressed the ice pack harder against his head, praying for numbness. "It's nothing big."
It has nothing to do with you and Chouji. No, not at all. I'm not confused. I'm not left out. I'm not needy. I've got my cat.
He gave a jaw-unhinging yawn, looking down at the proffered glass of iced tea with heavily-lidded eyes. Thinking eyes, as his mother used to tell him when she nudging his cupped hands out of his lap because she thought it looked indecent. Yoshino was all about what was decent and what wasn't, which was probably why he was wigging out the way he was now that he was feeling a little more...stressed than usual.
Shikamaru frowned. This was all a bit too troublesome for his taste.
"Well if you don't tell me I can't help you!" said cat sauntered over to nudge her ankle in thanks for the food. "Come on. This is me here. We've known each other forever. Nothing is sacred anymore," Ino joked, putting her hand on his shoulder. She had an inkling what he could be upset about, not that she blamed him. Change was troublesome. "If I can help, I will. You know I will. Is it the clothes thing? School? Girls?"
He chewed industriously on his lower lip, rubbing his jaw line with one callused thumb. "...why...Chouji, Ino?"
It wasn't something they'd talked about yet. He'd been surprised when he'd heard that his two old friends were...more than friends now, though he wasn't exactly sure how much more. He wasn't exactly sure he wanted to know exactly how much more than friends they were, because such things were hard to grasp. Too many concrete details for his analytical mind, too many things to piece together and list and look over and analyze to absolute death. It gave him stomachaches just to approach this matter.
And it wasn't the fact that they were together that bothered him, set him off-ease. It was the fact that he wasn't a part of it. They'd stepped their friendship up, and he was...not on that level. Not with Ino, not with anyone.
But he still had Shunmin.
Her mouth went mysteriously dry and she found herself silent for a good long moment, mind racing to think of an appropriate answer. There really was none. Didn't she know what she was setting herself up for? She could have tried denial, but Shikamaru was a genius and wouldn't be happy if she played dumb. She could have tried to play cute and ask a coy Why not Chouji? but that seemed foolish to do in this situation.
"I don't know," Ino sipped her ice tea and replied once speaking abilities came back to her. "It just… happened." One moments they were fighting and then the next… "You know things haven't really changed. I mean, between the three of us. If you're worried about things being weird you don't have to worry. Honestly!"
"Things like that just don't happen, Shikamaru replied flatly, taking a tentative sip from his tea. He made a face, his frown becoming even more etched. Too much sugar, as per usual from Ino. "And yes, they have changed, Ino."
And I don't like it at all.
"Well it did just happen whether you want to believe or not! No one set out for this to happen," her face was red not only from the heat but having to discuss this with Shikamaru of all people. She didn't set out to go out and break friendships. Not their friendship, the three of them were just… so concrete. "I would never want to hurt your friendship with Chouji-or our friendship for that matter," Ino added quickly. "Maybe if you just gave it a chance you would see it's really not that different."
"Dinner," he said abruptly, pressing a couple fingers to the rising knot in the back of his head as he clinked ice cubes against the side of his glass. Setting the drink down, he straightened to his feet with a chorus of mutters and creaks. He'd been sitting on the floor for going on four hours since Ino had stomped over to annoy him. "You, him, me. Tonight. We haven't talked in far too long, and besides...most places have AC."
Ino stood face to face with him-well not exactly face to face as Shikamaru had a good few inches on her-and moved his hand away from the back of his head. "You're making it worse!" She reached over and behind him to feel the wound with a few gentle fingers and an unmistakable pang of guilt shot through her. He deserved it, she reasoned, so she really didn't need to feel guilty. "More ice," Ino declared. "And pain killers."
Absently she smoothed out that parts of his hair that were sticking out weirdly. It looked like she was going to have to get Chouji to hold him down while she gave him a much needed trim. "If you feel dizzy and stuff I'll have to drive you down to the hospital to make sure your big brain's not bleeding or anything."
Shikamaru grunted lowly, trying to push her away with both hands. "Oi. I may be a deer, but that doesn't mean you can pet me," he said indignantly, wincing as a steely thread of pain shot up the back of his neck. "...and pain killers would be nice, though aspirins don't affect me much anymore. I've downed too many of those little white suckers for headaches already, and---ow. Don't touch it."
"I already feel bad enough already EVEN THOUGH YOU DESERVED IT," Ino clarified and went in search of something to shut Shikamaru up. What if he really WAS internally bleeding? What if he died and it would be her fault!? Chouji would be so pissed. And his mother…
She would not live to see old age.
When Ino found a bottle of non-asprin painkillers, she threw them at him. "You need a haircut by the way. Just a little trim. But you need it desperately. What girl is going to look at you with THAT on top of your head, huh?" she tilted her head up at him, leaning against the counter. "Remember, I say this because I care~"
"The French maid kind of girl," Shikamaru quipped as the bottle of painkillers hit the side of his head and bounced off ineffectually. He watched it roll on the floor for a moment before picking it up and wrestling with it. Obviously, childproofing was enough to deter someone as lazy as he was. "I'm hoping she'll mistake my ponytail for her feather duster."
Ino sighed and moved off the counter, plucked the bottle from his hand and opened it easily, putting two pills into his hand. "Are you really a genius? I want to see documentation," she said dryly. "And we don't like the French or did you forget? If you ever dated a French girl I'd hurl you off this building!" He, of course, knew about her French stepmother and how she and Ino didn't exactly see eye to eye (which was a nice way of saying they loathed each other with the fire of a thousand suns) and that by proxy, Ino hated anything remotely French.
"Hey," she popped the cap back on the bottle and struggled with her hair tie before running her fingers through her hair. Conditioning was definitely needed. "Why don't we skip that dinner idea and just go to that party thing on the roof tonight? It'll be fun."
He swallowed the two pills along with a long gulp of iced tea, quirking a dark eyebrow. "You try to bash my brains out, and now you want to go to a party with me? Two-faced wench."
"Come oooon," she pulled in his hand imploringly, giving him a huge pout complete with large sparkling eyes and trembling lip, "we'll drink! We'll watch fireworks! It'll be good times. Please please please? You know you can't say no to me, you might as well give in."
"Sure, beat the living daylights out of me and then get me drunk," Shikamaru drawled in a tone of Ultimate Suffering, rolling his dark eyes beseechingly heavenward. He'd never admit he enjoyed the pokes and whines of his longtime friend. "But since you've obviously given me absolutely no choice...fine. But only if Chouji goes, too."
Ino buffed her nails on her shirt, gazing down at them. Perfection. And people wondered why she was so spoiled. Everyone always let her have her way. Chouji did it because he liked to make her happy-Shikamaru did it because he didn't want to have to deal with her.
"Of course he's going. He never puts up a fight when I ask him to do things for me," she said sweetly. "It's probably because I give him make outs," it didn't hurt to squick out Shikamaru a little bit. That's what friends are for, after all.
He pulled an a-typically 'Shikamaru' face, bored and irritated at the same time. Not exactly squeamish at the thought, as Ino might've imagined he'd be, but still a little annoyed at the purposefully dropped addition.
He huffed a sigh, fingering the bump at the back of his head one last time before he got creakily to his feet. Shikamaru tugged out his ponytail, letting his hair fall down to his thin shoulders. He combed it out with his fingers, thinking it'd help hide his little war-wound.
Ino jumped right on him with glee, hugging him tightly and dangling a good few feet off the ground right after impact. It was sort of like how she woke him up in the morning sometimes-she would take a running leap and jump on him with all of her might and scare him awake.
It was really the only way that worked without her having to buy a taser gun.
"Thank you! It'll be a lot of fun, promise!"
Shikamaru teetered to the side with a groan, swinging the blond girl around until he had her in his arms. It hadn't been very long since he'd been able to carry her; his growth spurt had been only in the last five years.
"Those diets aren't working, are they, Princess?" he asked with a wry half-grin, deciding inwardly that another lump on his head would be worth the red that would rise in her cheeks, the indignation that would make her long hair almost curl at the ends.
He had called her fat.
It was the ULTIMATE BETRAYAL.
"SHIKAMARU!!" Ino flailed a bit but it was hard to move when her two feet weren't on the ground. "That is it! I am calling your mother and telling her you got a girl pregnant!! You just WAIT until I get near a phone!!"
Was her 2.5 pound weight gain from her trip so blatantly obvious?? It might have been more after eating a week or so of Chouji's cooking afterwards. Ino mentally decided she would run her little her ass off the next chance she got.
He really was playing on the edge tonight, wasn't he? This is what boredom did to Shikamaru. He started poking sleeping dragons, knowing full well that her flaming breath would roast him to a deer crisp.
"You look better this way," Shikamaru shot in quickly, setting her on her feet again so that he didn't get a foot to the chin.
"Really?" she asked suspiciously. "Or are you just saying that so I won't call your mom and make her come down here to yell at you?"
"Really, really," he muttered with another expressive eye-roll. "And besides, I'm not with anyone. I don't think my mother would believe that I knocked a girl up just by looking at her. If that was the case, you'd better watch out."
As he was talking, Ino was looking in the glass of the coffee table and smoothing out her hair. Of course. Beautiful as always! Shikamaru obviously just had no taste and maybe needed glasses.
"You don't have to date someone to have sex, you know," Ino poked at her lips, smoothing out the lip gloss that hadn't melted off, "and don't worry. I'm protected. I like to play it safe."
Shikamaru looked purposefully at an empty corner of the room, crossing his arms over his chest. This subject had become unexpectedly troublesome, and he fully blamed a slight concussion on his inability to nip it in the bud before it even started.
"I know that," he said stiffly, jaw squared. "I just haven't---haven't decided to put myself in such a relationship. It's not in the cards...or hasn't been, at least. I waited too long, I s'pose. Now---get dressed. I know it'll take you forever, so start already."
"Stop talking like an old man with a terminal illness," Ino reached up to pinch his cheek lightly. "You've got some stuff going for you. You'll be fine. But you're right, I need to get ready. A shower is a must," she patted his cheek and backed away, making a beeline for the bathroom. "And remember, I'll be dragging you myself to the party! Don't try and hide because I'll come find you!"
Shikamaru plopped down on the couch to take a mini-nap before said dragging commenced.
This hadn't been a very good evening at all, actually.