(no subject)
hey!
well, at the moment im in eastcote library, where ive never actually been before, and im with coral. we came out originally to get my art sketchbook for my new project, so i got that and ended up here. mum really pissed me off today-shes spent all holidays telling me to go and get this fucking sketchbook, and when i go out to get it, she tells me how 'awful' and 'sluttish' i look. if i told her what i really thing of her outfits every morninbg before she leaves for work, id be fucking locked up. so so far my mums called me fat, (a few times actually), anorexic, bulimic (dont quite coordinate with that first one, hm?), pregnant, a slag, stupid, and lazy. ok, i know im not skinny, and i know im not really intelligent, but what the fuck happened to maternal instinct?!?!?! what about those lovely mums i hear about who make cookies and sweaters and listen to what their kids say? if i end up with an eating disorder i know why...i was always completely happy with my body until she started telling me to lose weight. just because shes on a diet, why should it affect me?!? ive helped her through so much when she and dad were getting divorced, and with recent stuff, then she turns around and throws it back in my face. i am going to live in japan or somnething and become a hooker if she keeps on like this. oh no wait, i cant be a hooker even, because im too fat. and i cant do anything else because im too stupid. i swear to God, sometimes its all i can do to stop myself from screaming that i never want to see her again for as long as i live, grabbing all my stuff and going to soho or kings cross or something. i know i sound seriously whacked out but i dont care.
hey, im gonna go make myself throw up now! or maybe ill go walk into a wall, seeing as im so fat and stupid.
well, at the moment im in eastcote library, where ive never actually been before, and im with coral. we came out originally to get my art sketchbook for my new project, so i got that and ended up here. mum really pissed me off today-shes spent all holidays telling me to go and get this fucking sketchbook, and when i go out to get it, she tells me how 'awful' and 'sluttish' i look. if i told her what i really thing of her outfits every morninbg before she leaves for work, id be fucking locked up. so so far my mums called me fat, (a few times actually), anorexic, bulimic (dont quite coordinate with that first one, hm?), pregnant, a slag, stupid, and lazy. ok, i know im not skinny, and i know im not really intelligent, but what the fuck happened to maternal instinct?!?!?! what about those lovely mums i hear about who make cookies and sweaters and listen to what their kids say? if i end up with an eating disorder i know why...i was always completely happy with my body until she started telling me to lose weight. just because shes on a diet, why should it affect me?!? ive helped her through so much when she and dad were getting divorced, and with recent stuff, then she turns around and throws it back in my face. i am going to live in japan or somnething and become a hooker if she keeps on like this. oh no wait, i cant be a hooker even, because im too fat. and i cant do anything else because im too stupid. i swear to God, sometimes its all i can do to stop myself from screaming that i never want to see her again for as long as i live, grabbing all my stuff and going to soho or kings cross or something. i know i sound seriously whacked out but i dont care.
hey, im gonna go make myself throw up now! or maybe ill go walk into a wall, seeing as im so fat and stupid.