(no subject)
i took my family out to the movies last night and saw pirates of the carribean which actually turned out to be a half decent movie. my mom was really happy that i spent time with the family since i work all the time and the times that i'm not working i'm babysitting or at chris' place. it was nice to be with them for a lil bit. my entire family is going on vacation, except me, to florida for 2 weeks which means i have the house to myself for that time which means that's freakin AWESOME!
i'm supposed to get together with janice and dan maybe, i miss them a lot. this is probably the first time that i've seen them all summer. it'll be good.
i've been reflecting on myself since this morning and i'm not sure how i feel. i'd like to believe that i treat people well, especially chris. i feel like i'm neglecting others right now, or something like that. I've at least seen the andover people a few times which is better than i expected.
i'm worried about max, he hasnt been happy later and i've been reading his aways and they've been saying things like "maybe i'll matter next month", and in his profile "maybe one day i'll be repaid for all that i've given". wik says that he's upset cuz he's nervous about finding a job after this last year of school. which is understandable. i just dont know what to do with him. when we get back to school i'm sure he'll be happier.
chris' luck with finding a job has been less than stellar but for now i'm really glad that he has some temp work so that he can keep paying rent and eating. i really want to be able to take care of him, help him whenever i can, and give him everything he needs, but i feel that sometimes i can do nothing but watch him struggle and it kills me inside. Everyday that he's here i feel like he's just getting more and more frustrated. i just want him to be happy, and never regret that he came here. i've never been happier with someone and he is pretty much my world. so much of the time i want to tell him exactly how i feel but it always comes out as "i love you". i know he knows i mean it, but there's really no explaining how he makes me feel inside when he's looking into my eyes and smiling. i'm a cheeseball.... he never gets annoying, he's smart, he's very good-looking, he makes me feel like i'm worth something, he's loving, and sweet. he always notices little things about me that he likes, and that alone makes me feel very special. i really could never ask for any more than that and i never want to lose him. i find myself thinking about the future and though thoughts like these would normally scare me, i'm always smiling when i think about it. living with him, buying furniture *wohoo!*, taking trips together. him being the last thing i see before i go to bed and the first thing i see when i wake up, greeting him when he comes home from work, the list goes on. so in summary i suppose when i tell him that i love him i'm really just trying to say all that i just wrote and then some.
soooo... what's left to say is "i love you christopher" and i hope that you love me as much as i love you.
i'm supposed to get together with janice and dan maybe, i miss them a lot. this is probably the first time that i've seen them all summer. it'll be good.
i've been reflecting on myself since this morning and i'm not sure how i feel. i'd like to believe that i treat people well, especially chris. i feel like i'm neglecting others right now, or something like that. I've at least seen the andover people a few times which is better than i expected.
i'm worried about max, he hasnt been happy later and i've been reading his aways and they've been saying things like "maybe i'll matter next month", and in his profile "maybe one day i'll be repaid for all that i've given". wik says that he's upset cuz he's nervous about finding a job after this last year of school. which is understandable. i just dont know what to do with him. when we get back to school i'm sure he'll be happier.
chris' luck with finding a job has been less than stellar but for now i'm really glad that he has some temp work so that he can keep paying rent and eating. i really want to be able to take care of him, help him whenever i can, and give him everything he needs, but i feel that sometimes i can do nothing but watch him struggle and it kills me inside. Everyday that he's here i feel like he's just getting more and more frustrated. i just want him to be happy, and never regret that he came here. i've never been happier with someone and he is pretty much my world. so much of the time i want to tell him exactly how i feel but it always comes out as "i love you". i know he knows i mean it, but there's really no explaining how he makes me feel inside when he's looking into my eyes and smiling. i'm a cheeseball.... he never gets annoying, he's smart, he's very good-looking, he makes me feel like i'm worth something, he's loving, and sweet. he always notices little things about me that he likes, and that alone makes me feel very special. i really could never ask for any more than that and i never want to lose him. i find myself thinking about the future and though thoughts like these would normally scare me, i'm always smiling when i think about it. living with him, buying furniture *wohoo!*, taking trips together. him being the last thing i see before i go to bed and the first thing i see when i wake up, greeting him when he comes home from work, the list goes on. so in summary i suppose when i tell him that i love him i'm really just trying to say all that i just wrote and then some.
soooo... what's left to say is "i love you christopher" and i hope that you love me as much as i love you.