i <3 vb.
You know you're from Virginia Beach if...
1- You can name at least three of Mike Joynes law partners.
2- You can finish the Beach Ford song
3- You know that 64 West in Chesapeake is actually going east.
4- Virginia Beach is Va Beach unless you actually live there.
5- You know that Hampton Roads arent actual roads.
6- You dont go to the beach every day.
7- You dont want to go to the beach every day.
8- You know which beaches to avoid, unlike the tourists.
9- You believe that Meyera Oberndorf will be the mayor of Virginia Beach for all time.
10- Little Neck and Great Neck are not locations on Long Island.
11- Little Neck Creek is not on Little Neck.
12- Any westbound trip youve ever made involves at least one tunnel.
13- You can name at least three underwater tunnels within a twenty mile radius of your home. Extra points if you can name all five.[1]
14- One of your Adopt-A-School partners in elementary school was a U.S. Navy vessel.
15- You can say Norfolk while sounding neither obscene nor incorrect.
16- You dont stop and look skyward when aircraft fly over.
17- Youve seen Rudy Boesch in the Farm Fresh.
18- Youve seen Pat Robertson in the Farm Fresh.
19- Youve seen The Neptunes in the Farm Fresh.
20- Youve seen Timbaland in the Farm Fresh.
21- Youve seen Missy Elliott in the Farm Fresh.
22- You even know what a Food Lion is.
23- You know which parts of each city to stay out of.
24- Sometimes the cities just blur into one big metropolis.
25- Sorry, I meant suburb.
26- Youve been to more minor-league sports games than major-league. (More points if you can name three Hampton Roads minor-league teams)[2]
27- You know that on-base purchases have no sales tax. (Further points if you can name four military installations in the area)[3]
28- Newport News is not a catalog, it is a city.
29- Its Hampton, not The Hamptons.
30- Its not a peninsula, its the Peninsula. With a capital P.
31- You can name all the I-64 spurs.
32- Its not Portsmouth, its P-town.
33- Its not Virginia Beach Boulevard, its just The Boulevard.
34- The Strip isnt a nudie bar, its a tourist trap.
35- To you, Scope isnt just mouthwash.
36- The Boathouse doesnt actually dock any boats.
37- Youve been to the 17th Street Surf Shop.
38- No, the real one.
39- You know what WRV, Hotline, Roxy, Billabong, and Quiksilver are.
40- Youve ever heard South Side by Moby while actually on the Southside.
41- You know Dam Neck and Birdneck arent necks of any kind.
42- You use Cox Cable and refer to Cox High School without even snickering.
43- You know Mount Trashmore is a real place, not a joke.
44- You dont mind the jet noise.
45- You dont slow down in the tunnel, because its not a big deal. Stupid out-of-towners.
46- Walking up hills causes an instant asthma attack.
47- While away from home, you can identify a fellow HR resident by their being the only one in a 17th Street shirt and flip flops. In December.
48- You can go surfing and strawberry-pickin in the same day.
49- The left lane is not the passing lane, it is the only lane.
50- You know what Ritas Italian Ice is.
51- You have friends at three other high schools, minimum.
52- Jimmy Buffet is a regular fixture at parties and social events.
53- A hermit crab is a legitimate pet.
54- You know not to bring your golf clubs to the Tidewater Country Club.
55- No, its a city. Not a county.
56- Its normal for seven cities to be linked in almost every conceivable way.
57- Your city is 20 miles long but only 3 miles wide.
58- You can leave town for years at a time to find the same sections of road still under construction.
59- Base/shipyard traffic is one of the most dehumanizing experiences you can think of.
60- You have to adopt a surrogate professional sports team because you live in the largest metropolitan area without a single one.
61- Its Seven Five Seven, not Seven Fifty-Seven.
62- An inch of snow closes everything down.
63- 3 inches is a blizzard.
64- Youve been due for a Major Hurricane for about 15 years.
65- Earthquakes? Pardon?
66- Your region is having an identity crisis: Hampton Roads? Greater Norfolk? Tidewater? Norfolk-Virginia Beach-Newport News?
67- At least 75 mph on the interstate: Its not just a good idea, its the law. If you want to survive.
68- You know who the Norwegian Lady is.
69- No, you cant walk to the beach. Moron.
70- You block the box.
71- You didnt immediately respond to .70 with What?
72- The pedestrians are only at the beach.
73- Youve seen Jamestown, Williamsburg, Yorktown, and First Landing. And dont think its that big of a deal.
74- During Real Stories of the Highway Patrol, instead of saying Too bad for him, you say That guy was in my gym class!
75- You can see another 7-11 from the 7-11 youre currently at.
76- You cant afford Nordstrom. But you have one.
77- Why shop at Gap and Old Navy when you have Walmart, Target, and Payless?
78- MacArthur was not only a brilliant general, but a fine shopping establishment.
79- Bridges go over water, not land.
80- Tagalog is a language, and you might know a few words, if not speak fluently.
81- You know not to swim at Buckroe Beach.
82- You know Jefferson Park is not a real park.
83- You dont laugh when you hear Rip Rap Road.
84- You hear downtown and immediately think of some other city.
85- You have to specify which Lynnhaven, Princess Anne, or Kempsville Road youre referring to.
86- You have to go to DC to see any of the big-name concerts because you live in the largest demographic cul-de-sac in the United States.
87- You can name all the HR cities.[4]
88- You dont know what the big deal about lacrosse is.
89- Nor do you know what the big deal about ice hockey is. Rhinos? Who?[5]
90- You know that Norfolk International Airport isnt really an international airport.
91- Newport News/Williamsburg International Airport never even enters your mind.
92- No, youre not hallucinating. Those are mermaids.
93- Youve attended the Neptune Festival without being pagan.
94- Youre still wearing sandals in November.
95- Youre a Republican.
96- You know the real reason we havent been hit by a hurricane in the last several years is because of Pat Robertson. Emphatically cough here for emphasis.
97- Youve ever wonder how many fish and crabs PETA killed building their new headquarters on the banks of the beautiful Elizabeth River.
98- You had a nickel for every OBX sticker you saw on the road, youd be a rich man by now.
99- Youre tired of there being no respect for your home.
100- You know that it all started here.[6]
1- You can name at least three of Mike Joynes law partners.
2- You can finish the Beach Ford song
3- You know that 64 West in Chesapeake is actually going east.
4- Virginia Beach is Va Beach unless you actually live there.
5- You know that Hampton Roads arent actual roads.
6- You dont go to the beach every day.
7- You dont want to go to the beach every day.
8- You know which beaches to avoid, unlike the tourists.
9- You believe that Meyera Oberndorf will be the mayor of Virginia Beach for all time.
10- Little Neck and Great Neck are not locations on Long Island.
11- Little Neck Creek is not on Little Neck.
12- Any westbound trip youve ever made involves at least one tunnel.
13- You can name at least three underwater tunnels within a twenty mile radius of your home. Extra points if you can name all five.[1]
14- One of your Adopt-A-School partners in elementary school was a U.S. Navy vessel.
15- You can say Norfolk while sounding neither obscene nor incorrect.
16- You dont stop and look skyward when aircraft fly over.
17- Youve seen Rudy Boesch in the Farm Fresh.
18- Youve seen Pat Robertson in the Farm Fresh.
19- Youve seen The Neptunes in the Farm Fresh.
20- Youve seen Timbaland in the Farm Fresh.
21- Youve seen Missy Elliott in the Farm Fresh.
22- You even know what a Food Lion is.
23- You know which parts of each city to stay out of.
24- Sometimes the cities just blur into one big metropolis.
25- Sorry, I meant suburb.
26- Youve been to more minor-league sports games than major-league. (More points if you can name three Hampton Roads minor-league teams)[2]
27- You know that on-base purchases have no sales tax. (Further points if you can name four military installations in the area)[3]
28- Newport News is not a catalog, it is a city.
29- Its Hampton, not The Hamptons.
30- Its not a peninsula, its the Peninsula. With a capital P.
31- You can name all the I-64 spurs.
32- Its not Portsmouth, its P-town.
33- Its not Virginia Beach Boulevard, its just The Boulevard.
34- The Strip isnt a nudie bar, its a tourist trap.
35- To you, Scope isnt just mouthwash.
36- The Boathouse doesnt actually dock any boats.
37- Youve been to the 17th Street Surf Shop.
38- No, the real one.
39- You know what WRV, Hotline, Roxy, Billabong, and Quiksilver are.
40- Youve ever heard South Side by Moby while actually on the Southside.
41- You know Dam Neck and Birdneck arent necks of any kind.
42- You use Cox Cable and refer to Cox High School without even snickering.
43- You know Mount Trashmore is a real place, not a joke.
44- You dont mind the jet noise.
45- You dont slow down in the tunnel, because its not a big deal. Stupid out-of-towners.
46- Walking up hills causes an instant asthma attack.
47- While away from home, you can identify a fellow HR resident by their being the only one in a 17th Street shirt and flip flops. In December.
48- You can go surfing and strawberry-pickin in the same day.
49- The left lane is not the passing lane, it is the only lane.
50- You know what Ritas Italian Ice is.
51- You have friends at three other high schools, minimum.
52- Jimmy Buffet is a regular fixture at parties and social events.
53- A hermit crab is a legitimate pet.
54- You know not to bring your golf clubs to the Tidewater Country Club.
55- No, its a city. Not a county.
56- Its normal for seven cities to be linked in almost every conceivable way.
57- Your city is 20 miles long but only 3 miles wide.
58- You can leave town for years at a time to find the same sections of road still under construction.
59- Base/shipyard traffic is one of the most dehumanizing experiences you can think of.
60- You have to adopt a surrogate professional sports team because you live in the largest metropolitan area without a single one.
61- Its Seven Five Seven, not Seven Fifty-Seven.
62- An inch of snow closes everything down.
63- 3 inches is a blizzard.
64- Youve been due for a Major Hurricane for about 15 years.
65- Earthquakes? Pardon?
66- Your region is having an identity crisis: Hampton Roads? Greater Norfolk? Tidewater? Norfolk-Virginia Beach-Newport News?
67- At least 75 mph on the interstate: Its not just a good idea, its the law. If you want to survive.
68- You know who the Norwegian Lady is.
69- No, you cant walk to the beach. Moron.
70- You block the box.
71- You didnt immediately respond to .70 with What?
72- The pedestrians are only at the beach.
73- Youve seen Jamestown, Williamsburg, Yorktown, and First Landing. And dont think its that big of a deal.
74- During Real Stories of the Highway Patrol, instead of saying Too bad for him, you say That guy was in my gym class!
75- You can see another 7-11 from the 7-11 youre currently at.
76- You cant afford Nordstrom. But you have one.
77- Why shop at Gap and Old Navy when you have Walmart, Target, and Payless?
78- MacArthur was not only a brilliant general, but a fine shopping establishment.
79- Bridges go over water, not land.
80- Tagalog is a language, and you might know a few words, if not speak fluently.
81- You know not to swim at Buckroe Beach.
82- You know Jefferson Park is not a real park.
83- You dont laugh when you hear Rip Rap Road.
84- You hear downtown and immediately think of some other city.
85- You have to specify which Lynnhaven, Princess Anne, or Kempsville Road youre referring to.
86- You have to go to DC to see any of the big-name concerts because you live in the largest demographic cul-de-sac in the United States.
87- You can name all the HR cities.[4]
88- You dont know what the big deal about lacrosse is.
89- Nor do you know what the big deal about ice hockey is. Rhinos? Who?[5]
90- You know that Norfolk International Airport isnt really an international airport.
91- Newport News/Williamsburg International Airport never even enters your mind.
92- No, youre not hallucinating. Those are mermaids.
93- Youve attended the Neptune Festival without being pagan.
94- Youre still wearing sandals in November.
95- Youre a Republican.
96- You know the real reason we havent been hit by a hurricane in the last several years is because of Pat Robertson. Emphatically cough here for emphasis.
97- Youve ever wonder how many fish and crabs PETA killed building their new headquarters on the banks of the beautiful Elizabeth River.
98- You had a nickel for every OBX sticker you saw on the road, youd be a rich man by now.
99- Youre tired of there being no respect for your home.
100- You know that it all started here.[6]