new year....
New Year,
For the first time in my whole entire life i am going to spending the rest of my life without my brother.
Dont really know how i feel about it to be honest?
i miss him alot.
the good thing about it is that he is in no pain anymore and he is at peace, but then again i will never be able to argue with him or squeeze his hand when he was upset or scared.
Being in the situation i am in has really made me question alot about life, and i know that my situation has changed other people's lives like my close friends.
This new year we spent at home playing the game cranium whilst getting drunk on vodka even though it wasnt doing much and only numbing my pain.
when it hit 12 my dad put ollies pictures on a slideshow on the computer and we all had a cry.
Ever since he has gone i feel so poorly maybe its stress and shock i have been to the doctors and he has given me amoxcicillian and steriods WOOOO lol.
i miss all my friends i havent seen them in a very long time because of what has been happning with my home situation. i cant wait to see you all again i would love to see you all at Ollies funeral because im sure he would like u all to be there.
im meant to be singing on his day this friday but if my throat is like this then i doubt i will be! but i feel like i cant let him down because he would want me to sing! i think im gonna sing falling from alica keys! it was his favoruite one that i used to sing!
I then have my drama school audtions my first one is in 18 days and i only know like one and a half of my monolouges! argh hopefully ollie will be with me in spirit helping me along the way!
i hope you all had a good new year.
life is to short to wait around
live the dream
XxXxX