To become what I am not I must sacrifice.

[nny_morbid_love]

Well not knowing my real father has never really affected me in any way, because my "dad" that I live with is a pretty good guy. Today was no exception, I have no misery for my real father, and I don't care what happens to him. The same way that I don't care, what happens to me. I saw 2 pictures today that may change my life. They weren't of anything happening to me, or of someone i loved, or a relative, or anything that would seem important. The pictures were of 1 boy, just standing playing guitar, he is beautiful, and is extremly lucky. Now I feel more inferior than I have ever felt my whole life. Should I change to be something I'm not to impress a girl? Is it really worth the sacrifice to leave behind what I am and love to gain something else that I love? Love makes you do strange things. It will make you hurt the people you care about, it will destroy your hopes, and crush your dreams. It will lead you to mutilation, and tear your sights in two. It will make you lose your friends and gain your enemies. And last but not least, it will kill you in ways you cannot defend against.

I

Have broken my hopes
And corrupted my sights
To truly see
Everything

Persistance in tragedy
Always led my heart towards its downfall
Ultimatly unraveling
Life as I would know it

Forever the waves
Of bad tidings and fallen grace
Rage upon the shore

This cursed body of scars
Healing too slowly to live
Eternally is shattered

Living in a blood red dream
Of twisted tales of harmony
Vibrant hell and destructive symphonies
Every breath synching

Over the black rainbow
Feel the life slip away

Help me
Everything is hurting and I'm turning
Red.... from razors