An Update
I have just recieved my copy of the new Staind album and I must say. I like it.
Went home from work early today on the account of blood-loss and tension.
Lost about a pint of blood from a nasty tear in my fore-arm and was so pissed at a few things at work here that I ignored the wound and kept working on what I was doing. This place stresses me out so badly at times that I just get overcome by rage. I have never been this angry before and certainly never this consistantly. True rage scares me. It is like when it gets ahold of me, everything goes red and suddenly nothing matters any longer. I am not sure where it comes from but it is scary how it consumes me.
Today we were running razor-wire, as we have been for the last 72 hours, and mean-while the powers-at-be are hounding us unmercifully to complete this job. Which is fine, except instead of doing things the way they make sense, they are just making shit up. I know my job and am quite confident in my performance, but to have people insult my intelligence and not even have the grace to -listen- to my advice bothers me. Factor in 140 degree weather and a mission that is inherently dangerous and stressful and, well, I snapped alittle. The Red rolled in, I stopped speaking and began to work without regard to my own safety and the safety of those around me. I finished a record amount of Wire in a short period before my immediate supervisor stopped me and pulled me from the crew to cool down.
And to point out the fact that I was bleeding profusely. It is scary, I noticed to blood covering my arm but didn't care. In hind-sight I am unsure what happened. It wasn't the fault of those I was working with but instead the people who don't actually -do- any of the work. They just sit back, dictate what should be done and take credit for own blood, sweat and tears.
I am fine now but my arm hurts and I realize that I just need to tough it out for 4 more months.
Just....four.....more....months. I got to keep myself in check.
-4-
Went home from work early today on the account of blood-loss and tension.
Lost about a pint of blood from a nasty tear in my fore-arm and was so pissed at a few things at work here that I ignored the wound and kept working on what I was doing. This place stresses me out so badly at times that I just get overcome by rage. I have never been this angry before and certainly never this consistantly. True rage scares me. It is like when it gets ahold of me, everything goes red and suddenly nothing matters any longer. I am not sure where it comes from but it is scary how it consumes me.
Today we were running razor-wire, as we have been for the last 72 hours, and mean-while the powers-at-be are hounding us unmercifully to complete this job. Which is fine, except instead of doing things the way they make sense, they are just making shit up. I know my job and am quite confident in my performance, but to have people insult my intelligence and not even have the grace to -listen- to my advice bothers me. Factor in 140 degree weather and a mission that is inherently dangerous and stressful and, well, I snapped alittle. The Red rolled in, I stopped speaking and began to work without regard to my own safety and the safety of those around me. I finished a record amount of Wire in a short period before my immediate supervisor stopped me and pulled me from the crew to cool down.
And to point out the fact that I was bleeding profusely. It is scary, I noticed to blood covering my arm but didn't care. In hind-sight I am unsure what happened. It wasn't the fault of those I was working with but instead the people who don't actually -do- any of the work. They just sit back, dictate what should be done and take credit for own blood, sweat and tears.
I am fine now but my arm hurts and I realize that I just need to tough it out for 4 more months.
Just....four.....more....months. I got to keep myself in check.
-4-