not so secret admirer

[nnir]

Pairing: Hyde/Gackt, Hyde/You

Rating: K+

Summary: The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But what if the secret affair of your best friend is your lover?

Warning: Nothing much I don’t think. Inspired from Gackt’s MV “The End of Silence,”

Disclaimer: Everything is not mine or false! But the hint of reference to Umibe is to my own story Umibe: Gackt.

~*****~

Deep brown eyes searched all their previous music sheets for inspiration; when nothing came from that Hyde threw his hands into the air and stormed out of his studio and went to his living room, deciding that mind numbing television would help.

Jumping channels when nothing kept his attention, Hyde was about to turn the thing off and go out to see his young lover for a surprise when the very voice of the said man broke through the silence of Hyde’s large house.

Looking to his large LCD screen to see the blue eyed man singing his voice out in his new MV, the sudden change in tempo resounded in Hyde’s ears as You, Gackt best friend and his own good friend, appeared in a mask dancing to the falling snow petals.

Watching with unblinking eyes as the tall man created with his violin, the heart, the soul, his everything from the small but powerful instrument. Hyde was stunned into silence. He knew the man had talent, being a violinist to a rock band was no joke, as well as being the guitarist, Hyde had to be proud of the man.

Listening intently to the music You made, the face of L’Arc knew in that moment, what he had to do.

Picking up his phone, he dialed a number, after two rings a voice picked up

“Hello?”

“You-kun?”

“Hyde? How are you doing!” the cheery voice of his good friend called from the other line. Ever since Gackt had introduced them a few weeks after being friends with Gackt, You and Hyde were the best of friends. The first time they met after Gackt and him became a pair, the friendship with You only got stronger.

There were opposites between the two, in likes, music preference, and height…but there was nothing big enough that could keep them from disliking one another.

As You had once said to Hyde, when Gackt had told him Hyde and he were together “I know I can trust you to love him Hyde, you’re a good person; I like that.”

“I’m doing good, You-kun how about you? Are you busy?”

“Hmm, as of right now no, why?”

“I was wondering, could you come over for a bit? I want to talk to you about something,” Hyde grinned, knowing how the younger man would respond.

“About what Hyde? Something to do with Gakkun?” hearing the smile on the man’s voice, Hyde sat back on his couch, looking up to his ceiling playing with his short black hair.

“No, it’s got something to do with you, You-kun.”

“Me? Did I do something wrong to you?”

“Not yet, if you don’t get your ass here!” grinning at the phone, the older man could hear the tall thin man sigh with a smile on his face, being around Gackt almost all his life made the man an easy person to read, almost as easy as Gacchan himself. Almost.

“Alright, I’ll be there in a few minutes, can you wait until then Hyde?”

“I’ll try, You-chan” laughing at the nickname the tall man wasn’t entirely fond of, considering that the man who called him “chan” was two feet smaller than him, You grinned.

“Try not to get too excited when you see me, old man.” With the last word, You hung up before Hyde could tear off his head. He in return hated it when people talked about his age or height.

“Damn brat.” Grumbling to himself, Hyde couldn’t help the grin on his face either way. Funny how having a mutual friend in Gackt would make two people so close.

~*****~

Upon arriving at Hyde’s house, You was greeted with a hug and placed on the couch as Hyde gave him a drink, jasmine tea.

“So tell me again why you called me over Hyde,”

“I’ve been stuck on a new piece for Laruku for some time now You-kun, and when I couldn’t think of anything I heard you play your violin on Gacchan’s new MV,” Hyde explained, looking at the taller man nod his head not quite getting his point just yet.

“So, wait you don’t mean?”

“Yeah, I was hoping to ask you if you wanted to help me with a piece,”

“Y-you’re asking me?!” the light haired man exclaimed, looking at the older man for any signs of joking when he couldn’t find any You regained his posture.

“Of course, I thought I’d try something soft but with a hard tempo, I tried picturing the music with a piano or guitar but it’s not the same as a single violin.”

“And you want my violin,”

“You’re the only one I see whose good enough,” came the cheeky response from the older man, as the two shared a smile and laugh, content and happy. True friends in a blissful moment,

“I’d be more than honored to work with you Hyde,”

“I thought you’d say something like that You-kun,”

“Do you have a planning sheet?” getting onto business as he was known for in GacktJOB, the black haired vocalist got up and went into his studio coming back with a folder stuffed with papers.

“These are my ideas in a nutshell, but I can’t figure out where and what goes where.” The older man laughed, when he handed the violinist his plans, big brown eyes looked over them and together the two musicians worked hours into the day on their debut piece.

Well into the night, when You got a call from Chachamaru asking where he was did the two friends finally call it a day.

“Well it looks like I’ve got to get going Hyde,”

“I’ll see you off You-kun, you’ve been a great help to me.” The older man thanked, only to have it rejected by a shake of the violinist’s head.

“It was my pleasure Hyde, no need to thank a friend, but can I ask you something?”

“Yeah sure,” staying by his white oak door, the taller man with his hand on the doorknob looking back at the vocalist,

“Can I talk to Gakkun about this, he’s a great musician and--”

“I don’t think so,” came the quick response from the smaller man, surprising You.

“Why not?”

“I want him surprised of the end results, how do you think he’ll react to a song his lover wrote for him with the help of his best friend?”

“But isn’t the song going to be used for Laruku? Is that safe for you two?” the violinist asked, only GacktJOB and L’Arc~en~Ciel knew about the two’s relationship, if the world found out….

“It’s no problem, have you heard of Umibe?”

“Yes, don’t tell me--” a nod and a smug look on the other man answered his unfinished question.

“It was written for Gacchan but no one knew then, so why now?”

“You’re a devious person Hyde,” You grinned, remembering the face Gackt had on when he first heard that song on the radio. The shock and slight guilt for not seeing Hyde in so long on his face before the overwhelming love and adoration completed the transformation on the soloist’s face. That was before they became a couple but even then, You knew.

“Of course I am You-kun, I would have thought you knew that by now, now no word to Gacchan got that?” dark brown eyes looked up into large dark eyes, as a light head of hair nodded.

“Alright I get it, goodnight Hyde.”

“Goodnight You-kun,” closing the door to his friend, the pair went their separate ways before they would meet up again.

~*****~

Weeks pasted and You went over to Hyde’s house each time he could escape from GacktJOB. Sometimes he would be there for an hour or two before leaving back to work and then some days he’d stay the entire day and half the night.

Slowly You and Hyde worked on their piece of music, with Hyde’s vocals and You’s violin. Occasionally the members of L’Arc came over and the five men discussed but over all the final cuts were made by Hyde and You.

In the weeks working together, You and Hyde had grown closer to one another. Almost close enough that You began to cut his time with GacktJOB but not enough to raise eyebrows. Or so he thought.

Packing his violin into it’s black case, the tall man was heading onto Hyde’s house once more when a voice came from behind.

“You-chan,”

“Wha!? G-Gakkun, you scared me!” turning to his best friend, You grinned “what is it?”

“Where are you going?” Gackt asked, looking at his taller friend with worried eyes.

“I’m just heading off since we’re about done here, I’ll work on the finished projects when I get home so you don’t have to worry about deadlines Gakkun,”

“No You-chan, I’m asking where is it that you’re always heading off too,” the soloist’s voice hard on his friend, blocking his way out of the room, he watched as the other began to fidget. He knew You was never a good liar and avoided it if he could.

“I just heading off to go work on the music,”

“You can do that here, in fact you always work here; where do you go all the time You-chan?”

“No where Gakkun, now come on! Please move, I’m going to be late!”

“You’re not leaving here until you tell me where you go all the time, it’s been like this for a month now You-chan, I’ve watched you.”

“Y-you’ve been-- Gakkun! You’re acting like I’m--” suddenly breaking the tension, You’s phone went off. Quickly picking it up before Gackt could hear anymore of the ringtone; You spoke up before the voice on the other end could yell at him.

“Hello? Yeah, I’ll be there just wait for me k? I’m a bit held back right now.”

“Who is that You-chan?” Gackt’s eyes narrowing into dark blue slits on his pale face, a thin line of his lips and a knot in his brows as he tried to listen to the voice on the other end.

“Look I’ve got to go now, I’ll see you soon! Bye,” You quickly excused himself from the phone placing it in his back jean pocket as he picked up his violin case and walked up to Gackt.

“Please move Gakkun,”

“Who was that You,” no longer using his nickname for his best friend, You knew Gackt was only getting more angry at him. But…he couldn’t tell him where he was really going, he already promised someone else.

“I’ve got to be somewhere now Gakkun, please move.” The normally calm violinist’s voice hard on his best friend, Gackt knew that face and clenched his fists before moving out of the way, watching with glaring blue eyes at his friend’s fading back.

With those stubborn eyes that he knew from childhood, no amount of questioning would make You break. Of the two of them, he was the stronger one; and Gackt sometimes hated that, now of all times only amplified that feeling.

But just as much, where You was stubborn, Gackt was competitive and no amount of secrecy from his friend would be held from him; he would find out what You was hiding.

~*****~

Days after that incident, Gackt and You worked together, they laughed and smiled, hugged and played their music- their friendship hadn’t suffered much. But, occasionally there would be moments of awkwardness and silence when the two of them were alone.

You would go on ignoring it, after all he couldn’t do anything about it but Gackt. Gackt wouldn’t ignore it, he would avoid confronting his friend for now, he would excuse himself as just cranky that day and nothing he said was meant to be taken seriously. He would go on pretending.

Until…

He decided to give GacktJOB a much needed day off of work, did Gackt collect his phone and keys and begin to drive off to his lover.

It had been months since he last spoke to Hyde much less see the man and now of all times did Gackt need Hyde to hold him the most, he needed to tell him what he needed to do to fix things with You. Gackt wanted to see those deep brown eyes look up at him, feel those thin wet lips on his, their fingers intertwined as a body all too perfect fit with his own.

Gackt drove to see his Hyde for answers. He didn’t know what to do with You. He could wait it out and then what? Question him and get into a fight? No. That would hurt the rest of the band and when they were about to release a new single; that was out of the question. So then what could he do?

Hyde would know. He always knew what was best to do in any situation Gackt found himself in.

Yearning to see his older lover, Gackt quickly drove his car into the driveway of the vocalist’s house and began walking up to the white oak door with his spare keys, opening to see….

Hyde….

And You.

~*****~

“So what took you again?” Hyde asked You as he came in from the studio after telling him he’d be late without an explanation.

“Sorry about that Hyde,” the taller of the two apologized, placing down his instrument case before falling onto his host’s couch, a bottle of water handed to him automatically. As he felt the smaller man’s body sit itself next to him, patiently waiting for the other to calm his breath.

“Gakkun was asking questions,”

“…!” without having to look at the vocalist, You knew the look of shock on the other’s face was present,

“I didn’t tell him anything, but he’s getting curious Hyde,”

“Don’t tell him anything You-kun, not until it’s finished,”

“I know that! But it’s getting harder and harder to not say anything, you should see how he looks at me now.” The violinist stated sadly before a hand fell onto his shoulder and deep brown eyes looked sympathetically at him.

“I’m sorry I have to ask this of you You-kun but if you can hold on for a while longer, the piece is almost done,”

“Yeah I know, I’ll keep quiet until then, don’t worry Hyde what are friends for right?” the younger man grinned as he felt a smile appear on Hyde’s face. In that moment, You knew the exact reason why Gackt had fallen in love with the vocalist.

The reason why he called Hyde’s smile a sin. It was intoxicating and so memorizing, like all the world’s problems and troubles were all washed away when Hyde smiled. His bright brown eyes so similar to the rest of Japan and Asia but so unique in that they belonged only to him. His perfectly small nose and rosy cheeks, thin ever wet lips and neat white teeth. Every laugh line and dimple on his face only showered his features in a youthful light.

You had always been fond of the smaller man but nothing out of the ordinary feelings he'd have towards Chachamaru or Gackt. But, over these days with working with Hyde, he found that those mutual feelings of friendship were turning into something else.

You felt his heart pound for a moment that lasted longer than it should have before looking away in shame.

He couldn’t fall in love with Hyde, he already belonged to Gackt. His best friend, his childhood friend. If he fell for Hyde, not only would he be breaking Gackt’s heart but he would be forcing Hyde to make a choice between the two of them and You couldn’t do that to his friends. He wouldn’t do that!

“You-kun!”

“Huh? What?”

“Are you alright? You looked a bit dazed for a while,” Hyde looked to him with worried eyes, when the younger man only shook his head trying to hold down his blush.

“I’m fine Hyde, we should get to work on the piece--” he began only to have the older man push him down.

“No, you’re resting now, you’re stressed and I can’t have you unable to focus when we’re working on music. You have tomorrow off right? Stay the night and tomorrow we’ll get started.”

“But--”

“You!” using the same voice he did when forcing Gacchan to stop talking, You was the same and he instantly shut his mouth and looked up at the older man.

“You’re staying the night and resting until I wake you up got that!”

“Y-yes sir,”

“Good boy,” petting his younger friend on the head as if he were a puppy in need of a master, Hyde left the violinist before coming back with a pillow and blanket.

Setting him on the couch, Hyde watched as You quickly fell to sleep without fuss as his lover would normally do. Walking away from the sight before him, Hyde quickly placed a chaste kiss to his friend’s forehead before leaving. He would come back in the morning.

Morning came and Hyde walked in on a sight to be held. On his couch lay You still asleep but unlike how he had left him. Half of the blanket was on the ground as one leg was hanging up on the back of the couch, the other leg was bend over the armrest as his arms were thrown over his body and on his head.

While Gackt slept perfect and unmoving, You moved in his sleep; smiling at such contractions between the two best friends Hyde couldn’t help but think how such opposites could be the closest of friends for the longest of times. Of course, him and Tetsuya weren’t the exact same either and they had been best friends for two decades and longer.

Moving over the room to the sleeping instrumentalist Hyde began to shake the man into consciousness only to get a grumble of annoyance and an arm waving him off.

Hyde sighed and tried again,

“You-kun get up, it’s eleven in the morning, I want my breakfast before lunch and I can’t do that if you won’t wake up!” hitting the man lightly, the reaction he got was not what he excepted and without meaning too, You reached out for the hand that was hitting him and instead off pushing it away, he pulled and brought Hyde onto him.

Feeling the force of a body on him, You’s dark eyes widened in surprise when he met with deep brown eyes looking back at him in shock and embarrassment.

“H-Hyde what are you--”

“Me? You were the one who pulled me and made me fall, get up it’s time to eat breakfast!” trying to push himself up from the entangled limbs of arms and legs, neither Hyde nor You heard the door opening and letting in someone,

“H-Hyde!? You!?”

“G-Gacchan!?”

“Gakkun!”

Why did it have to be him?

~*****~

Deep brown eyes momentarily searched bright blue orbs before moving off of the body under him, Hyde tried to talk,

“Gacchan its not what you think!”

“I-I’m sorry to have interrupted you two, I can see now where You-chan has been going all this time,” snarling the nickname as if it were poison, the violinist flinched as he sat up and tried to talk to his best friend.

“Gakkun! Really Hyde and I aren’t--”

“Don't! You don’t need to tell me anything,” turning from the two, dark blue eyes clashed with dark eyes before looking at deep brown sorrowful eyes, already feeling tears in his eyes Gackt left the house and the person he wanted to see most of all. The only person who could hurt him just as much…

“I expected so much more from you Hyde…” closing the door to his lover’s house, Gackt ran out and into his car before speeding off into the morning light.

You got up and in the overbearing silence, he demanded.

“W-why didn’t you stop him Hyde!? Why aren’t you going after him! He loves you and you aren’t even-- do you even care about Gakkun anymore!”

“Of course I do,” came the controlled and quiet voice of Hyde. Louder than any amount of screaming You could do, Hyde’s voice ran hard and hollow on his house walls; black eyes slowly turned to him in sadness and controlled anger.

“I want nothing more in this fucking world than to run to him right now You, but I know Gackt, he won’t listen to me unless I can prove to him we weren’t do anything.”

“And how do we do that?!” looking down to the older vocalist, in the morning light, Hyde’s black eyes gleaming with unshed tears; he truly looked terrifying and wise.

“We finish the piece. Only then do we go to Gackt,” resting his eyes to the door once more, You looked away, before nodding in agreement. Not bothering to brush his own tears away, the violinist swore to put his entire soul in the music he would present to Gackt.

Without having to look at the other, You knew Hyde would do just the same, only he would put even more into the piece. Gackt was more to him than anything else in this world after all.

In that moment, he knew there was no room for him between the two.

~*****~

Working throughout the day and into the next three days, You went back and forth from Hyde’s house and the studio. Gackt would hug him in politeness but there would be no warmth, no friendly smiles or laughs between the two friends, this was something far deeper than a childhood friendship could mend; You had betrayed Gackt in the most hurtful and cruelest way.

No amount of begging and pleading would make Gackt forgive him, until the piece was complete; You kept his distance.

He would ignore the sadness in Gackt’s face as he sang his love songs for Hyde, he would ignore the anger and isolation in those normally bubbly blue eyes when they looked to him. You would keep quiet and he would ignore it all until Hyde finished the piece.

What may have been just a few days felt like years to You when he got the call from Hyde saying that he booked a time slot on the radio for L’Arc~en~Ciel’s new single, their piece. All he needed to do was get Gackt to listen to the channel, but that would mean he would have to talk to him after so long of ignoring his best friend….. You shook his head in disgust, how could he be so afraid? This was Gakkun, this was Hyde, his good friends and the pair of lovers he knew more than anything, loved each other from the bottom of their conjoined souls.

You would talk to Gackt, and he would make the man listen to Hyde’s voice and his violin. He would fix everything.

“What do you want?” ever polite, the cool baritone voice of Gackt asked as cold blue eyes looked at the violinist who betrayed him. They were alone in the studio waiting room, all the other members having left already for the night.

“I know you don’t want to see me right now and no amount of apologizing will change your mind Gackt, but please, just listen turn on the radio.”

“Why.”

“Because the reason for my being at Hyde’s house that day and the days I left the studio early will be on there,” looking directly into his friend’s eyes, he could see he wasn’t convinced, You would continue until Hyde came himself. He would persuade Gackt into listening to their song, he had too.

“Why should I believe you anymore You.”

“If you don’t trust me anymore Gackt then trust Hyde! Do you really think he would cheat on you with me!” seeing the other man open his mouth to rebuke him, You continued.

“Hyde loves you Gakkun, more than anything! More than anyone! He would never hurt you and you already know me, I wouldn’t either!” pleading with his friend to turn on the radio, he already knew the station would be on the channel Hyde had booked, it was always the same station L’Arc used for their debut songs and it was always the one channel Gackt listened too.

Blue eyes looked to him, before turning in his chair towards the radio. Gackt’s voice resounding throughout the silent room,

“If you’re lying to me You--”

“I’m not Gakkun, you know I can’t lie.” He couldn’t help the break of a smile on his face at that, when the sound of his violin sung through the room as a soft whispering voice of Hyde began.

Words of love and promises echoed in the men’s ears, memories and dreams he shared with Hyde danced in Gackt’s mind as the voice of his lover sang. The beat of the drums and guitar and bass gave way to the melody of the single violin he knew only as You’s and Gackt felt his heart stop for a heartbeat.

“I- is this--”

“It is.” A new voice spoke from behind the tallest man in the room, side stepping the doorway, Hyde looked in walking towards You as he stood beside his friend looking only at his lover.

“Hyde.”

“I wanted to keep it a secret from you Gacchan until you could hear the final product yourself. This is what You-kun was doing at my house all those times, I asked him to compose this song with me; for you.”

“Hyde…You,” looking up at You, Hyde placed a hand on the man’s arm in silent gratitude, before he stepped foreword to his still sitting lover, placing himself between his legs he gently laid the tired and weary wavy black head of hair he loved onto his chest. Running his fingers in the silky locks, as strong arms automatically held him closer.

“I wanted you to hear the love I’ve always had for you Gacchan, in the only way I knew how, with You-kun, I wanted to show you how much we care about you.”

“Hyde…” tightening his hold on his smaller lover, Gackt let his tears fall down his face neither one caring that they were staining Hyde’s shirt. “I-I’m so sorry, I--”

“Shh it’s over now Gacchan, I’m right here. I’m still here,” leaning down until his lips touched his younger lover’s head, Hyde and Gackt stayed in that position well until the song was over, neither one cared.

You looked on at the two lovers with a smile and tears of joy in his eyes before he silently left the room.

He knew there was no room for him between the two but You found he didn’t care. He loved Gackt as a best friend. He loved Hyde as an older brother.

He found that, he didn’t need to be anything more.

____________________________________

I really liked this one! It was my first time writing about You so much, who knew it’d be so easy! Though I’m not sure if this is really how he is or not…..
Also, the next two stories will be of jealousy, betrayal, angst and making up; so beware!

Still! Please leave me your thoughts and love!!!! <3