Umibe: Hyde

Feb 01, 2010 03:40



I’m not sure if this is true and well it’s probably not but the idea won’t leave my head, so with the best of my abilities I’ll try to keep it realistic!

Pairing: Hyde/Gackt

Rating: T

Summary: It was just one song, from a time so long ago; really, it meant- it means nothing.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Hyde or Gackt and Hyde owns his own song “Umibe”

Warning: Set back in 2007 and appearances of L’Arc members

~*****~

Hyde sat at his desk, staring at the empty white sheet of a supposed new song to finish for L’Arc~en~Ciel’s new KISS album. Racking his brain for any form of inspiration, hours pasted to the musician and nothing. A big lot of damn nothing!

Running his hands through his fine brown hair, the aged man sighed sitting back in his seat Hyde tried to ignore his phone, that kept ringing a new caller and binging a new text, he ignored his wife’s calls, his member's calls, his manager, every damned person. Hyde blocked them out.

He understood the deadlines! He knew KISS needed to be finished! He knew all of that but, that didn’t help him any for a new song.

Deciding it would be best to just get away from it all, Hyde got up and left his studio, thankfully Megumi was out for the newscast and their son was away at a friend's for the weeken,d the vocalist plopped himself down onto his couch and turned on the TV.

Flipping through his large number of channels, Hyde wasn’t paying any attention until a familiar song reached his ears. Orenji no Taiyou. It was an old commercial ad using the song Gackt and him created back in ’03 during Moon Child. And although it was so long ago, memories of back then instantly filled Hyde’s mind.

The ever blue skies, the horrid heat, the spicy air, the beating sun, the warm sand. Taiwan, it’s people, its culture… the crew, his nervousness of making a movie, Gackt beside him throughout the process. The dinners they had, the nights they shared on the beach, the companions he made in Wang Lee Hom, Yamamoto Taro, Kwok Zeny. In a heartbeat Hyde was brought back to a time when he was younger and so carefree, a time when he could relax and enjoy being with friends and no one was working him.

In that moment, Hyde yearned for nothing more than to go back to Taiwan, sitting under its scolding sun and just lay on the beach with Gackt beside him telling him how much being there meant to him and all that lovely stuff only Gacchan would say.

In that moment, Hyde was hit with inspiration. Running back to his studio and writing down the lyrics that flowed into his mind down onto paper, he could see the images of back then the feelings in him that swelled and ebbed and like waves on the shores of Taiwan, Hyde’s new song “Umibe” was created.

~*****~

“Damn Doiha-chan these lyrics are amazing!” Tetsu praised the singer as he overlooked the new song, trying to figure a rhythm to the words and the music that would follow.

“Thanks Tet-chan,” the older man smiled, as the members of L’Arc~en~Ciel sat in waiting in the recoding studios waiting room just outside the recording booth.

“Who is it about?” Ken suddenly asked, the ever presence of a cigarette dangling from his lips as he threw a cheeky grin at the vocalist

“No one in particular” Hyde said easily. It was about no one, just memories of a someone he once knew…. really

“Really?” Yukihiro asked quietly from the seat he was sitting backwards on, looking up from the portable game console he was playing from

“Yes now stop asking me” the brunet exclaimed, pulling out a cigarette of his own, lighting it and taking a breath of nicotine

“Are you sure Doiha? These lyrics sound like that trip you took to- where was it again?” the leader tilted his head slightly trying to remember that phone call years ago

“Taiwan” Yukkie said remembering how Hyde called him to complain about the heat of the country one night when he couldn’t get in contact with Tetsu, Ken or Gackt. Hyde and heat were apparently the worst of enemies at the time- and the heat was slowly winning.

“Right Taiwan thanks Yukkie, back when you were making that movie with Gackt” Tetsu said looking at his best friend with big brown eyes, Hyde simply puffed out his smoke and shrugged

“And?”

“And we’re asking if these lyrics are about him” Ken blurted out, still sitting cross legged on the couch by the window

“They aren’t” the vocalist answered his friends decided game of twenty questions

“Are you sure-”

“I am, they are not about Gackt already!” stuffing out his cigarette, the face of L’Arc~en~Ciel got up and left the suddenly crowed room.

The song really wasn’t about Gackt. At least….not the Gackt now. The one who smiled less, the black haired man with fake dark blue eyes and wore black suits, the man who came over less and called even rarer. It was as if all those promises he was forced to make to the younger man back on that beach were nothing but false illusions of a dream.

“Promise you’ll keep calling me when this is over Haido”

“Keep in touch with me alright?”

“I’ll attend your concerts even more after this, I hope you’ll do the same when you can Haido”

“You really are the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen Haido, you really do me an honor to be here working on my movie with me”

“You know that even though the movie is over, I’m keeping my eye on you Haido”

Those smiles and bright shy and yet mischievous blue eyes, long auburn and blond locks, the laugh on his lips, the deep and familiar feeling of Gackt beside him. That was the Gackt “Umibe” was based on. That was the Gacchan Hyde missed.

Not this one.

Smiling to himself, Hyde unconsciously took out his cell phone to check for any new messages. Nothing.

Yes… false illusions of a dream better left forgotten, indeed.

~*****~

Months pasted and finally after much work and long hours, KISS was out into the world and once more L’Arc~en~Ciel was everywhere and under the eyes of everyone, questions and interviews were thrown their way, why the title? Does it mean something? How was the cover image decided? What of the songs? Why such songs about unrequited love from Hyde?

Every talk show wanted them to perform, to sit and talk about their long awaited album in two years since AWAKE back in ‘05.

And for a long while they answered their questions, they stood in front of the cameras and smiled for their fans; blossoming under the lights they knew all too well. They stood as L’Arc~en~Ciel after so long, but unlike before when the limelight was beginning to falter they announced their concerts ‘Theater of Kiss’ and brought the light onto them again.

For the long periods of several months they would travel from city to city and perform songs from their older albums as well as songs from KISS, and for the longest time Hyde enjoyed himself.

He was with his best friends, his old staff, greeted by his cheering fans and was able to sing his heart out every day and night. True bless, a natural high would be his partner once more until…. He was asked to sing “Umibe.”

“It’s really popular among the fans and it’ll be the first time to be performed live” Tetsu explained to the vocalist

“Yeah…” Hyde nodded, what Tetsu was saying was true, it was popular and it would be good for the group to perform new songs, that was why they made new songs after all wasn’t it?

So then. Why didn’t Hyde feel up to it? It wasn’t that he wasn’t proud of the song, no, Hyde felt pride for every song he composed and sang with his heart and soul each time. Was he afraid?….of what? That people would figure out the lyrics? About who they were about, from a time long ago… no. He sang about deeper things before, about people closer to him from longer back. So then….

“Alright, I’ll sing it”

“Alright, it’ll be after Sunadokei, let’s get to practice!” There really was no reason to worry. No one would figure it out, after all; the song was about someone who didn’t exist anymore. Someone who changed and didn’t remember.

~*****~

Applause filled his ears, cheers of his name and his band mates name's rang throughout the stadium. As the music faded and the lights darkened around him Hyde began another song- a stronger song, of another time- another person; ever higher, up-beat, meaningful and yet….

Throughout My Heart Draws a Dream, Hyde forgot his words of “Umibe” the meanings behind them; he forgot his heart, the emotion he hadn’t meant to let go and out into the open but- it was his first time truly singing that song live. Hyde couldn’t help but lose himself in his own song, his own memories.

Before long the concert was over and it was time to go home. Saying goodbye to the staff and crew, hugs and pats on a job well done Hyde went back to his empty house and long decided a long needed sleep into the next afternoon was what he needed most right now.

Showering and getting into his pajamas, Hyde was about to crawl into bed before hearing the doorbell go off. Stopping for a moment the vocalist debated on whether to let the person go screw themselves silly for thinking he’d answer the door at a time like this or answer the door and get the chance to vent some his frustration out on the person, face to face. He chose the latter.

Getting up from his bed and marching to his front door as the knocking got louder, Hyde grabbed the doorknob and pulled

“What the hell do you think your doing knocking on my fucking door this late!” now, normally Hyde was a calm man who looked at everything at an equal angle but coming back from a Theater of Kiss performance for the umpteenth time this week was pushing him to his limits.

He loved his fans and L’Arc needed him that much was a no brainier but, long concerts after concerts and then the promise of a transcontinental tour right after that, Hyde was sure even the normally mellow Yukihiro was feeling the pressure.

Standing just outside his doorway his guest stared in shock and silence at his outburst before awkwardly apologizing

“I- I’m sorry Haido I should have-”

“Gackt?”

“Yes?” looking up from the ground, the tall man’s eyes met Hyde’s wide brown orbs

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Well I came to see you…”

“Ah right, come in sorry about that.” Letting the younger man into his house closing the door after him, Hyde watched with slight annoyance and amusement as Gackt stood just as awkwardly in his house- as if he no longer had the right to be here.

“Sit down Gackt, don’t just stand there, can I get you something?”

“Water, please.”

“Coming up” going into his kitchen, Hyde tried to calm his racing head, why was Gackt here? They hadn’t spoken to each other in years so why now of all times? What could have brought the younger man back here?

Placing the glass of water in front of his old friend, Hyde sat on the chair beside the couch so he could openly stare at the soloist who in turn looked so torn between guilt and….hope?

~*****~

Silence filled the house as Hyde stared at Gackt and Gackt his hands, playing with his many rings before he couldn’t take the silence anymore Gackt spoke up

“I saw your concert” the way Hyde could detect the slight shift of Gackt’s voice proved to the man, their bond even after so many years of not seeing each other, wasn’t broken. Gacchan was an easy person to read.

“Really? What did you think?”

“I liked it, you looked healthy and happy.”

“It was the first concert Laruku had in a long time, I forgot how much fun they were” the elder of the two found a smile on his face as he sat back in the chair when a sudden thought struck him like cold water. Gackt saw their show. Their show. The show in which he sang that song for the first time. No….

“Actually there was one song that I found that stood out”

“Really?”

“Umibe.” Fuck! Hyde had to think fast, he knew singing that song wouldn’t be good, this had to happen! The worst case scenario; to be confronted by the person he based the song on. Damn it all!

“What made you-”

“Haido…tell me, is that song true?” for the first time since he entered his house Gackt looked into Hyde’s eyes. Blue meeting dark almost black.

“What do you mean Gacchan?”

“Haido, please don’t toy with me!” letting his face fall into his hands once more to hide his face, Hyde listened to his friend “After Moon Child I kept calling you and we met occasionally, I made sure to keep my promise to you Haido I really did, do you remember?”

“Yes.”

“We were good friends who hung out and talked about nothing, remember those days Haido?”

“Yes Gacchan, I do” how he wished they could return to those days….

“But- then you began with Laruku again and I with solo projects and GacktJOB, we drifted apart and I couldn’t keep my promise to you anymore; I felt it wouldn’t be right to call you after so long.”

“…” Hyde sat in silence, watching the younger man drink down the water and then sigh into the couch, blue eyes never looking up at him once during his speech, Hyde debated whether to cut the man short and ask him to leave- not wanting to deal with this so late at night when he wasn’t in his right mind set, while another part of him wanted Gacchan to stay. They hadn’t seen each other in years after all, and it was nice to hear the man’s voice again.

“But when I decided to attend your concert I felt that I had enough courage to call you again, until I heard….”

“Umibe.”

“Yes...Haido, w-were you” had he been any other person Gackt would have known perfectly what to say at a time like this. But he wasn’t, he was Hyde and in front of him, Gackt stuttered and blushed as much as he was eccentric and polite. He was the only person who was allowed to see Gackt as Gacchan.

There was no point in hiding it now, Hyde couldn’t get out of this one and he wasn’t bound to lie to the younger man; he found he couldn’t. Not to the eyes behind shades of blue.

“Yes Gacchan, yes” he didn’t need to explain anything more, for as soon as the words left his lips Gackt was on him in an instant, warm body hugging him close, a racing heart in his ears, and a pair of hands on his back and shoulders pulling him closer. The smell of Gackt’s cologne filled his senses as well as an undertone of the natural smell of Gackt himself.

“Haido-”

“Shhh it’s okay, its alright Gacchan” wrapping his arms around the younger man as he kneeled before him, he held the man in a hug that was long over due.

This would probably make things worse for them, Hyde knew what Gackt was thinking before the man knew himself, this would give him hope that his love for Hyde would- is returned. And in a way it was, but then again…..

Hyde tightened his hold on Gackt, letting his head fall into the crook of his neck and for a moment he didn’t care anymore.

Nothing else mattered. For now.

--------------------

This has to be the longest story I’ve written so far, and well I’m nervous! I really hope Gackt came out as himself and not OOC or anything… but really look up the lyrics for Umibe and tell me you don't think this!

I also tried to keep it as real as I could! With the timing of ‘Theater of Kiss’ and then the intro of the tour ‘Live in Paris’ and all that jazz~

Please read and review your lovely thoughts! Much love mes amis!
P.S. I'm debating on whether to put Gackt's side of this story up as a part two but I'm not sure yet, leave your thoughts for me? 

char: yukihiro, rating: t, char: hyde, real, char: tetsu, pairing: gakuhai, char: gackt, char: ken

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