Heteronormativity ahoy

[nmg]

Scene: I was taking the garklet for a haircut, and we happened to pass a church that was ringing for matins. He asked why the bell was ringing, and misheard 'matins' as the name of one of his friends who moved to Cambridge last year (who I shall refer to as M). The important thing to note is that M is the child of a lesbian couple.
garklet:Where M? nmg:M's in

Comments

[bohemiancoast]

For both of these, you see, we had almost none of this with either of ours. And I think that's probably because living in the wild heart of East London, life is so obviously and spectacularly diverse in so many ways that we're more often likely to have the conversation in reverse...

Offspring: J has a pet dragon.
Mummy (distracted): oh really?
Offspring: He keeps it at his other mother's house.
Mummy: Oh, right. J has a pet dragon who lives with his Other Mother. Like in Coraline. I get it.
Offspring: No, not like in Coraline. J's other mother lives on X street.
Mummy: And I suppose the dragon heats their radiators, right?
Offspring: No, mummy, don't be silly. It's like a Komodo dragon, only smaller. And it's going to have babies soon.

...which led to me, later, having a lengthy conversation about breeding captive lizards with J's other mother.

Offspring: I want to live in a pub. Then I could drink lemonade and eat crisps whenever I want.
Mummy: Don't be silly; you can't live in a pub.
Offspring: Why not? A lives in a pub.
Mummy: No he' doesn't... [worries...] does he?
Offspring: Yes he does; it's the Pig and Whistle on x street. His parents manage it.
Mummy: [quickly recovering ground] But A doesn't get to eat crisps and drink lemonade whenever he wants, does he?

[nmg]

I am reading these and hearing Offspring Minor's voice...

[bohemiancoast]

Oh yes. Offspring Major and I have quite different conversations, mostly including some phrase along the lines of
- You think?
- Don't you know anything?
- Were you ever actually a teenager?
- I hate you absolutely and forever!
- Plllllleeeeease will you help me with my violin practice?