Take my hand, take my life...
So what was supposed to be a fun weekend definately had its pros and cons. I guess we will start with the pros first. First off, Eddy came into town for the weekend. Second off, BK and Kristi had friends come in from out of town. And third, its a 3 day weekend. So everyone gets here and we go watch Hoobler run at the track meet and thats when things kinda starting going downhill for me.
Carrie and Niki really don't seem like true friends to me anymore. Just some of the crap they were saying to/around me shows that they don't care about my feelings. YES I ACTUALLY DO HAVE FEELINGS. So I got a little upset at the track meet and left to come back to my room and I blared The Used and just stared at my top bunk.
Then the day got good again...we all decided to go out to dinner. We went to Fudruckers. Good times were had, especially on the car ride home. We ":lost" Kristi and them all in the car behind us and they didn't take it as a joke like we did. So we had a whole big drama issue over that and I realized that some people can dish it they just cant take it. Which kinda leads me to another point...I wonder if I started crackin on some of my friends if they could take it...because they definately dish enough of it out to me. It is kindof getting really annoying.
So back to the bad crap. I have realized that I mean nothing to Carrie. I am so insignificant on her list that I could die tomorrow and she would never notice. And its not just my brain trying to trick me into this. There are many signs. I asked her to come see my room after I got my disco ball set up (totally tight disco ball by the way ashley) and she STILL hasn't seen it. I invited her over to my room to chill with Eddy and I while we drank a beer or two but she was "going to BK and Hooblers room." Shows you where I fall on her importance list. And then I went over to her room and she isnt even TRYING to include me in conversation. And I have moved from one of the top 5 on her buddly list to just about at the bottom. I really dont care anymore.
Carrie, when and if you ever read this let me tell you something. I love you. Ok, there. That is the reason why everything sucks between us. And knowing that I don't mean anything to you, even just as a friend really hurts and I'm just not going to take it anymore.
Don't fall in love with someone if they don't fall in love back. It's common sense I know...but its hard to follow. I hate love. I hate life. I hate everything right now.